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> Difficult choice WWYD?

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charlottesmum04
post 08/01/2013, 08:01 AM
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Have been tossing and turning about where to post this. Either here or in the babies,kids with disabilities section. Finally decided on here because i wanted general opinions as whatever i choose i will have to justify it to everyone.

New baby DD has been having some serious feeding issues in the past 4 weeks. Reflux, dismotility, vomiting, weight loss/poor weight gain etc. We have finally learnt that she was allergic to my breastmilk and cannot tolerate the normal larger volumes of food that she should be having at 8 weeks old.

Since the beginning there has been talk about tube feeding her in a medium/long term way if another reasonable solution can't be found. So far though we seem to have found out what works. Elemental prescription formula in 60ml amounts every 1 and a half to 2 hours. However this is exhausting for us. Even with DH and I sharing the load overnight. DH is only home full time for another 2 weeks and I am meant to be returning to work in 3 weeks.

So here is my WWYD/WDYT?

How long would you be able to continue feeding every 2 hours?
Would you think me selfish if i was to say I wasnt coping and ask about the possibility of doing the tube feeds anyway?
Which way would you choose?

Doing it this way she is finally gaining weight but DH said last night he found me asleep on the couch patting her to sleep. ( no problem there) but aparently he said when he moved her to take her to bed i didnt realise and was patting an imaginary baby for the next hour till the next feed.
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axiomae
post 08/01/2013, 08:07 AM
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Tube feeding isn't a bad option. For lots of mums it's the only option. You may already know deep down that what you're doing isn't sustainable, particularly if you have to go back to work soon.

What would be a worse outcome - your gorgeous baby being fed happily, or a sleep-deprived mum having a car accident on the way home from work because they are so exhausted from being up all night feeding said baby?
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WithSprinkles
post 08/01/2013, 08:09 AM
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I think you do whatever you have to do to cope. Obviously you won't be able to keep going on like this (especially when you return to work). Do you have any family or friends nearby that could take it in turns to pop in for a few hours each day (I.e. come when it's time for one feed and stay til the next feed) so that you can at least get 6 hours sleep?
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MakeLoveNotBacon
post 08/01/2013, 08:13 AM
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I personally would avoid tube feeding in those circumstances. I b'fed both my kids every 2 hours for most of the first year, night and day. But I wasn't working. And that's me. You have to do what's right for your family.
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Phascogale
post 08/01/2013, 08:21 AM
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Even with the tube feeds you may still have to feed her every 2 hours if her stomach can't tolerate larger volumes. However tube feeds are relatively quick and you don't have to wake your baby when you feed at night.

I would definitely speak to someone about this, even if it's done for the short term (the doctors may find a different solution sooner rather than later). You can also bottle feed during the day and tube feed at night.

You need to be able to function so that you can look after yourself and your baby. Can you also speak to a social worker (at the hospital?) who will be able to tell you about any extra resources and services that can help you?

If you're able to, see if you can get an extension to say home a few extra weeks till you have a better idea of what's happening with your baby and finding ways to cope.
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YodaTheWrinkledO...
post 08/01/2013, 08:21 AM
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Do what works best for you, your baby and your family. If that means tube-feeding for a while, then so be it. Maybe you can do a combination?
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lifehacker
post 08/01/2013, 08:24 AM
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I'v been breastfeeding almost 2-3 hourly for about 6 years but I don't work. I do co-sleep and lay down in bed so not having to fully wake and make formula helps me not feel too sleep deprived.

I know nothing about tube feeding so cant comment there.

I think you have to do what you think will have the overall best benefit for your family, taking everyone into account.
I don't think you should have to justify your decision to anyone though?, it's your family, you and dh know what will make it best for you guys, no-one else has to do it.
Goodluckx
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ubermum
post 08/01/2013, 08:30 AM
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I would tube feed. Sleep is just as important as food for the growth and wellbeing of a baby. At least with tube feeding, you possibly wouldn't have to wake her to feed and she would get more uninterupted sleep.
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Corella
post 08/01/2013, 08:35 AM
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How about an overnight nanny type to help with the feeds? Tube feeding is still going to have to happen regularly and there are risks/complications with it that I'd personally avoid if at all possible.
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Corella
post 08/01/2013, 08:37 AM
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How about an overnight nanny type to help with the feeds? Tube feeding is still going to have to happen regularly and there are risks/complications with it that I'd personally avoid if at all possible.
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