[Missmarymack]

Our 2 year old is seriously resisting sleep. We read a set number of stories, sing a set number of songs and then it's time to sleep. The whole routine can take 20-30 mins depending on the stories. But lately she has started screaming at us that she doesn't want songs but more stories. We used to be able to tell her that we had read all the stories and now it was time for songs but now she gets hysterical. We've tried negotiating - eg it's songs or you go into your bed for sleep (done calmly), and while this also worked for a while, now she completely loses it. We've even tried walkin out for a couple o minutes to see if she would calm without us there, but she screams for us to come back but then continues to scream at us when we are in the room.

It is seriously starting to ware us down. We have always done everything gently so I'm not interested in CIO/CC methods but I have no idea what to do now.
Please help me before I lose my mind

[Plappermaul]

I'm feeling your pain Missmarymack!
I'm currently camped outside my little girl's room so that I can stick my head in the door and tell her the mummy is here but it's time to go to sleep.
Our clever little minx will try anything to stall bedtime - more stories, I'm hungry, where's daddy? Need to do a wee (not that she is even TTing).
We used to lie down with her but found that she just wants to play with us so we've had to change our routine to stories, lie down and tuck in, say goodnight and leave the room. I stand near the door and reassure her that mummy is here. If I need to, I go back in and repeat the tuck and kiss, tell her mummy is just outside the door and that she needs to go to sleep. I don't let her cry herself to sleep and am not interested in CC or CIO methods.
It is a work in progress.

[Pssst...]

How do you feel about letting her take a book to bed? You could keep the routine the same as always. But when she asks for more stories then say, 'no, we've read our X stories, it's time for songs. When the songs are finished you can choose a book to take into bed with you'

If she's showing less interest in the songs i'd also be tempted to drop them from the routine. Maybe less fussing over bedtime in general will keep things calmer?

DD1 is sometimes happy with none of her full routine as long as she takes a book to bed. She's usually asleep well before her room is fully dark anyway. Just be sure to only offer board books that can't be torn, or any books that aren't 'precious'

Anyway, just a suggestion

[belinda1976]

If she doesn't want songs anymore I can't see the harm in having a couple more stories. If that's all it is to keep the peace I'd just do that.

[Escapin]

Things were getting out of hand with DD when she was about 18mo. Endless books, breastfeeds, wanting to leave the room, anything else she could think of. It wasn't suddenly like this, just happened gradually. And by the time this was regularly happening, she was REALLY difficult to put to bed.

So we pared it right back - 1 book, 1 feed and into bed. Took a few goes, but now it's working fine, and has been for a while. She's 20mo now.

If she won't go in her cot, we do the 30 seconds in the cot, 2 minutes of standing cuddle ('no darling, no more feeds, no more books, would you like to stand here and cuddle me or get back in your cot?), then back in the cot. Repeat as needed.

Oh, and the old 'I'm just going to go and do XX chore and then I'll come back and see how you're going' trick works too. She's usually asleep by the time I come back

[Jenflea]

Why MUST she have songs? How would you feel if you were made to sit and listen to jazz(my personal hate) or country or death metal, when all you wanted was another story?

I don't understand why you HAVE to do it in a certain way if she doesn't like it and it's turning into a battle.
Just offer the songs, then if she says no and wants more stories, then read one or 2 more stories instead.
Let her have a bit of control over her life and she'll be much happier!

[SMforshort]

Would a pretty jar or box and say six balls / pegs help? Three blue balls / pegs for stories and three red balls / pegs for songs.

Each night you get the balls out of the jar and then she puts one in each time a book and song is finished. This gives her a cue as to when the process will be complete.

SM

[Kay1]

I always suggest the same thing in these threads but it worked a treat for us. We have a selection of stories on cd and when our kids were 2 we started using them. So stories, songs, cuddles etc and then if they've been VERY good they get to have a cd on (so its seen as a reward/desirable thing) then lights off, story on, quick kiss and out the door. We like the playschool ones and Giles Andreae ones particularly. The Giles Andreae ones have lovely music that sends them off to sleep. Its a good idea to read the book/listen to the cd BEFORE using it at bedtime or it could be a bit too exciting. Mine never ever got all the way to the end of the cd before falling asleep. They would practically shoo me out the door so they could have the cd on. Worth a try anyway.

[Sassy Girl]

Drop the songs if she doesn't want them. As a PP said you wouldn't like to be forced to listen to music so why should your child.

Maybe her bedtime is too early for her body clock. Try a later bed time.

[RunDMC]

I agree with Pssst, try letting her read the last book herself, this has happened organically for us with DS wanting to read the last book to his monkey. We leave the light on for 5 mins then turn it off, sometimes he is asleep before we get back there. He gets into trouble if he gets out of bed.
For the last 2 months, neither DH or I are allowed to sing anywhere! Even singing to ourselves to the car radio prompts a "no singing mummy" comment Must be a phase.....of course I am an excellent singer