[nationalvelvet]

I've spoken on this topic before...............

We have a friend who lives on the road(caravan parks) and needs a place to drop off his "stuff".

I've managed to help sell a lot of it(his instructions) and the last thing I sold was Carpet Cleaning equipment. He gave us $50 for selling it.
But we told him "NO MORE!!"

We can't keep filling up our garage and backyard with his stuff.

At the moment I am selling his trailer (which has been on our property) a year and we told him this would be the last thing!

He phoned me the other day and got me off guard saying that his brother was going to throw his motobike to the junk yard if he didnt get rid of it.
He was almost crying.....and told me that he needed a place for it. He said that he had a guy that was going to buy it and was going to pick it up in 3 weeks.
I asked him over and over again - "Are you sure he will pick it up?"
He pleaded and pleaded that this would be the last thing he would drop off at our place and was very sorry he had to ask him.
I contacted DH and he said''Yes, ok"

So he came over in the afternoon and dropped it off. I told him to put it in the garage..but it wouldnt fit(It's a huge bike, like a Police Bike). He had the guy with him(that wanted to buy it).

That evening another person was coming to look at the trailer. He stayed around to talk with them and they are not sure whether they want it.

Now our friend tells us this other guy may not buy the bike.

I was furious and told DH that he has to get rid of the bike!
DH told him NO MORE - and it is a definite and we will say NO!

I've told our friend that he may need to stop travelling and living in caravan parks and get a property and then he can have a place to store his stuff.
He keeps saying 'He cant afford it as DSP isn't enough".

We are friends with him but this is upsetting the friendship.

Are we being cruel by saying NO!

We are currently in the middle of renovating our yard and have our own stuff lying around.

This post has been edited by hobbity: 05/01/2013, 01:22 PM

[TillyTake2]

So he's on a DSP but well enough to travel all over the place, ride a motorbike & otherwise live a totally normal life. Ummm, I think maybe that is called fraud...

[countrymel]

The friendship may be damaged but NO you are not wrong in refusing to take his stuff anymore.

We have the same trouble as we live on 3 acres - and it isn't helped by the fact that I myself am a bit of a hoarder.

I actually tell people now - No, I'm sorry I cannot do it, we are trying to get our OWN stuff under control, it may look like we have room but we don't, all these 'things' only cause me stress, I can't deal with any more stress so that means I can't deal with any more things."

People don't ask anymore.

He NEEDS to hire a storage unit. And he is cruel for using emotional blackmail on you.

This post has been edited by countrymel: 05/01/2013, 01:29 PM

[mintjoolips]

Get a sign made up and hang it on your front fence, as they say in Africa-

"YOUR PIG, YOUR PROBLEM".

[YodaTheWrinkledO...]

his gear, his responsibility. If he won't take responsibility for it and you have given him fair warning, many times, then simply give a last warning and if he doesn't sort it out himself, get rid of it.

The friendship is under strain because your 'mate' is using you. It's very simple.

I don't think he's a good friend. But I bet he thinks you are GREAT friends, at least while he can keep using you like this.

[bakesgirls]

No, you are not wrong in saying no to him. You need to ask yourself, would this man be in your lives, see and treat you as his friend if he wasn't using your place to store his junk (I suspect he would have no interest in maintaining the friendship). Or do you think he would disappear into the never never if you stuck to your decision to say 'no more'.

Either way, he needs to respect your decision and you need to stick to it if it's what you want to do.

This post has been edited by bakesgirls: 05/01/2013, 01:51 PM

[rosiebird]

Just tell him that you need your garden back and he needs to collect his stuff or your DH will take it to the tip next week. Problem solved.

[Maple Leaf]

What a user!

it sounds like he's living a pretty full and active life considering he's on a DSP!?

Encourage him to rent a storage unit using all the cash for the stuff you have sold for him.

Stop being a doormat. No true friend would use you like that.

I would tell him that the bike is either picked up immediately or you will be dropping it off at an op shop.
Its obviously his other 'friends' have clued into his ways.

[3plusme]

No you are not being cruel.

You have said no more than twice and drawn your boundaries and your "friend" has stepped over them.


Be firm.

[Phascogale]

You need to give him an ultimatum of when his things need to be gone from your property. And tell him you will be getting rid of them if they are not.

All his metal things including the bike can be picked up by the scrap metal place and everything else will either be thrown out of given away. Or taken to the tip (but that will cost money).

He can pay to have them stored somewhere. Or he can find somewhere else to store them.