[lisajane666]

Hi

Our lil man has not been a good sleeper since he was about 6 weeks old and he is now 2 1/2 years old. We have tried everything but its gotten to the point where it is taking us over an hour for lil man to go to sleep at night and its driving me nuts. He gets up around 5am every morning, still has a day nap and we put him to bed around 6.30 but it can take up to 8.30 at night for him to give in.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

Lisa

[overthehill]

Can you shorten his day sleep and/or put him to bed later in the evening? This may take a good few nights to see a difference but would be worth a try.


Can you shorten his day sleep and/or put him to bed later in the evening? This may take a good few nights to see a difference but would be worth a try.

[Frau Farbissina]

I also suggest a later bed time. Hopefully it helps.

[feliz6]

Not sure where you are but what about trying a sleep consultant either visit your home or talk on the phone. May not be cheap but how much is a good nights sleep worth to you? I know very little on this topic but it seems that people often describe little ones as bad sleepers and leave it at that as is nothing can be done. I wonder if that's really true?

[immismum]

I suggest you look at the total amount of sleep he has in 24 hours.

You don't say how long his daytime nap is, but if he is having a 2 hour nap, then he might only need 9 - 10 hours at night. Trying to put him down earlier than he needs to go is just going to lead to frustration for both you and him.

Transitioning out the daytime nap is hard on all concerned, as kids get very very ratty at the end of the day, usually right before dinner when you are trying to do things!

It does get easier though, and it means they go to bed really well at the end of the day leaving you with lots of lovely adult time!

[Pinky101]

What time and how long is his day nap?

We've been finding with DD (26 months) that if she naps later in the day, she'll not go to sleep until 9.30pm. Definitely not what we want!

[AntiBourgeoisie]

I respectfully disagree with most posters. After a 5 am start, moving his bedtime to 8:30 will probably result in him going to sleep at 9:30/10 and then being overtired. I absolutely wouldn't shorten or drop his day nap (as long as it is not longer than 2 hours; if he's sleeping 3.5 hours in the day, there's your problem). 6:30 is a perfectly acceptable bedtime for a child who wakes at 5 (although if you made his bedtime 7:30, you might get a bit if extra morning sleep out of him). I wouldn't make bedtime any later than 7:30 in this age group (right through to about 4, and then I'd sit on an 8 pm bedtime until about 8 years, and then 8:30 until pre-teens, and then all bets are off!)
2.5 is a hard age. He is probably starting to have nightmares he can remember, so bedtime becomes 'scary'. He's probably just realized that mum and dad (his favourite people in the whole universe) are just in another room doing amazing, cool, awesome things. His language is probably now good enough that his headis full of thoughts and he doesn't know how to turn it off. There's a big wide world out there and you're asking a wee mite to lie down, stay still, fall asleep, and not see his favourite people for a whole night.There's a lot going on, and it's a big ask. But not impossible.
In order to fall asleep, one needs to go to bed, lie still, close their eyes, and wait for sleep to overcome them. How good is your average 2.5 year old at sitting still? There's your problem! The reason he falls asleep at 8:30 is because he is finally so exhausted that sleep comes fast enough to beat his lapse in concentration. But that method results in hours of frustration and a chronically sleep deprived child.
So rather than convince your child to 'go to sleep' you actually just have to convince them to stay in bed. Go through all the things they use to delay sleep all at once. One last cuddle, drink, kiss, toilet trip - whatever. Do it all once ans never again. The hardest thing to change is them coming to find you. I find the best solution to this is you going to them. Put them to bed, tell them you'll check on them every ten minutes all night so they are never alone. Then leave. Of course a 2.5 doesn't know what ten minutes is. Go in every 1-2 min to prove you are still there to start off with. If you can just keep them in bed, and keep them happy, they will fall asleep. Increase the time slowly. You'll eventually find yourself in a position where you're doing your ten minute check at ten minutes and they are asleep. (At which point an iPhone photo of you next to sleeping them 'proves' you continue to check on them).
At all points, take them what they need, but try and avoid getting them out of bed.
2.5 is, I think, the hardest sleep age. Younger babies don't have fears and just go with the flow (even though they may protest loudly). Older kids can be reasoned with. At 2.5, it's a big world and they are little people with real, present, developing fears, anxieties, loneliness etc - adult emotions they don't know how to manage and which cannot yet be reasoned away.
You'll need to be gentle at this age, and it will take longer to see improvement. With kids under 2, thy can generally get new sleep habits and sleep well within three nights. By 3ish plus, again you can change behaviour quickly. At 2-3, it may take weeks.
Just be consistent and gentle. But the aim is to KEEP HIM IN HIS BED.

[*lightning]

I would make bedtime 7.30pm or 8pm. Try for a week or two and see if there's a difference.

I wouldn't drop the daytime nap and with my kids I allow them to sleep as long as they need but I have flexible sleeping times for my kids and they aren't bad sleepers

[RachealJane]

My 2.5 yo DD doesn't have her day nap anymore but still can be wide awake at 9pm.

Most nights I take her into bed between 7.30 and 8pm and it takes about an hour to get her to sleep too. But she'll sleep in til about 8am since her room is now pitch black.

I lay with her to go to sleep as she only just night weaned so still needs my contact to feel comfortable.

[AntiBourgeoisie]

My 2.5 yo DD doesn't have her day nap anymore but still can be wide awake at 9pm.

Most nights I take her into bed between 7.30 and 8pm and it takes about an hour to get her to sleep too. But she'll sleep in til about 8am since her room is now pitch black.

I lay with her to go to sleep as she only just night weaned so still needs my contact to feel comfortable.

Can I gently suggest that you may in fact find its easier and quicker for your child to fall asleep if she still has a day nap? Sleep deprivation in this age group actually makes them stay awake longer, and fight sleep harder. 12-13 hours of wakefulness in a row at 2.5 is actually too long and may impact on her mood, and her ability to play and learn. It is the rare child who does not benefit from a day sleep before around age 3-3.5, and most kids benefit from the occasional nap well beyond this.
You may find that a 1.5 hour nap and a 7-7:30 bedtime make for an easier bedtime and a happier child (acknowledging that you have made no suggestion that your child is not happy).
Even if you are perfectly happy with this scenario, I'd like to suggest to the OP that this is not an ideal situation for the average 2.5 year old.