[imamumto3]

was having a discussion last night with dh. He has just discovered that his sister sleeps in a separate room to her DH and has done for the last few years. I knew about it, but he only just found out. The reason they do this is because her DH needs to have a good nights sleep so if she sleeps in a different room she wont disturb him when she has to get up to the kids or feed the baby. The only time they share a bed is when they are staying in a hotel room.

DH thinks that their marriage is basically over because you should share a bed/bedroom if you are happily married. I was pointing out other reasons why people might not share a room, such as one partner having to get up early for work etc but he still thinks it is odd.

so WDYT, does sleeping in separate rooms mean your marriage is doomed or is it quite a normal occurrence?

[Sinister Bonnet]

We've had separate bedrooms for the past 18 years.

Works for us.

[*Spikey*]

I have to say, there are times when I really enjoy camping out in the spare room (which is also my study/dressing room and has a double bed). No noise, an entire bed to myself.... aaaah, the serenity.

I know of people who enjoy their separate rooms - usually some sort of health issues are involved - and still enjoy getting up to mischief. Happy marriages in those cases.

[Ruby Victoria]

I don't see why it would mean a death knell.

I would say most marriages that end had the couple sleeping in the same room.

How much less stress could there be if you didn't have to worry about snoring, for example? I know I certainly sleep better when my DH is not in the bed.

[Kay1]

I am sleeping in the baby's room most nights at the moment. Its just easier for me when I'm half asleep to get him from across the room as he still wakes frequently. It also allows DH to sleep all night before he goes to work.

I don't like it much though and we generally at least start out in the same bed but I don't think on its own it means anything much.

[dynamitee]

Our friends have been sleeping in separate rooms since before they were married. Seems to work for them fine.

Probably could have done with a separate room myself last night. DH keeps rolling over to my side.

[Sunnycat]

I don't the it's the end of a marriage. What if one partner epically snores or something? I know I would t be able put up with that and would rather sleep in a separate room.

[aussierach]

my grandparents.. slept in seprate rooms for all bar the first 10 years of their marriage.. had 4 children.. and were married for over 50 yrs when my granddad passed certainly did their marriage no harm.. me well I prefer sleeping beside my hubby.. but we have friends who married in their late 30's and have never shared a bed they have been married 10 + yrs

[economist99]

Its really common among parents. Sharing a bed and room only happened culturally last century when ppl had less space - anyone who could afford it always had a room each, his and hers - and its coming back in vogue with Mcmansion designers offering 2 master bedrms...

The other issue here is whether or not a sexless marriage is doomed and thats also not necessarily the case (obv want to point out no correlation btwn sharing a bed and sex - separate rooms prob = more sex for me)...there are a lot of sex free marriages that soldier on as couples enjoy other aspects of the reltionship and allow sexual openess or just dont care that theres no sex

[Saecularis Angel...]

Hhmm, depends. Do I end up making both beds?

I think it's a silly question. A happy marriage is about so much more than where and how you sleep.