[Faradaye]

My DH and I used to host a weekly family dinner.

Attendees were DH and I, our two girls, my mum (who would travel up once a week from 1.5 hours away) and my brother and his wife (who live locally).

Some of the time my SIL was doing a special program at the gym and so was following a special diet. When she was on the program she would bring her own meal, a microwave bag of vegetables and a tin of tuna.

My DH does most of the cooking and as this was a weekly casual family dinner it wasn't like he was cooking a three course gourmet meal each week. Regular meals included stuff like lasagna or spaghetti bolognaise or a curry. Things our kids like and as my mum was undergoing chemo DH used to send leftovers home with her.

My brother and his wife stopped coming to the meals and I found out it was because he completely cracked it with us for not serving more healthy meals. He never mentioned it, or offered to bring a salad or anything (he used to bring a bottle of wine each week but no other contribution).

He felt our meals were excluding his wife and we weren't making enough effort to cater for her.

He has now stated he wants a commitment from DH and I that if we invite him to our house for a meal we must provide either vegetables or a salad, suitably healthy, as part of the meal, or he will again be dreadfully offended by our selfishness.

I personally feel if you are a guest at someone's house you eat what you are given without complaining as the menu is secondary to actually spending time with friends / family.

My brother's quote about it was 'there has to be more effort made than you just get what you get.'

Is my brother being precious? Or am I being selfish and unreasonable in thinking my standard family meals should be fine?

[cinnabubble]

I think he's being ridiculous. He can host dinner if he feels that strongly about it.

[JRA]

I think there is a bit of both. I would find it odd to have every meal without vegies or a salad. So yes, I think it is odd what you were feeding every week,=.

On the other side, I suppose why didn't the others suggest - can we bring a salad, or something like that.

[SCARFACE CLAW]

I think your brother is being extremely rude! If they aren't interested in eating what you cook and spending time with your family, they can bugger off and eat at home

[Still-here!]

Rude!

I don't think I'd want to be the one to cook each week, why not take turns?

[mocha444]

Ask them to bring along a salad each week instead of wine.

[Mamabug]

I think you are both being a bit stubborn.

You knew your SIL was eating healthy, yet couldn't even throw together a salad or serve of veg for her? Sure, it is her lifestyle choice, but you are family, you take that into consideration.

He however is a pillock for being offended, but also being too much of a git to speak up about it.

[Mamacass2]

He is being unreasonable. Whenever I have been on a strict diet or lite n easy or whatever I have either taken my own to people's houses or eaten what I am given. You are being generous providing the food they have no right to complain.

[kiwi-girl]

It really annoys me when people throw a tantrum when they could have raised an issue in a reasonable manner. Why not make future dinners pot luck so everyone contributes or take turns to host? It sounds like you have been really generous with a weekly family dinner.

[Sinister Bonnet]

I think he could have brought something healthier than a bottle of wine. Like a huge salad or a huge vege dish that his wife could eat.