[nationalvelvet]

My brother has sleep apnoea and it has affected his health greatly.

On Christmas day he fell asleep in conversation on my lounge. It was upsetting to see.

My mum tells me they can't afford the machine and I wonder how that is possible.

My brother works and so does his wife. They have no children. They rent(they lost their home a few years ago..defaulted on payments)
They are about to take their 2nd trip overseas in a few weeks this year but they got the ticket (airfares free) through my SIL's place of work.

I have thought about giving them the money but then I wonder if they could afford the machine.
I know it's nearly $2000-$3000.

My SIL drives a late model Honda and my brother drives a $2000 1996 model car.

He works five days a week plus every 2nd weekend(overtime)
I know they have debt..they owe people money.

My SIL(christmas) day brought her new tablet. She has an Iphone and expensive camera/video.
She always looks like a million dollars!

My SIL is an Administrative Assistant for a School Principal in an expensive Private school.

I would like to try and encourage my brother to get the machine....but I know he will say we can't afford it.

Is there a way we could try and get a cheaper one for him?

Could I try and encourage his wife to help pay for it?
I dont want to interfere but I hate seeing my brother's health suffer.

[Madnesscraves]

sounds like they don't consider it to be an issue enough to be able to travel O/S and buy ipads. I guess their priorities are different.

Sorry, but I'd let them sort that out themselves.

[cluckyluckyducky]

It sounds like bad financial management / different priorities. I don't think you should pay for it but perhaps you can point your brother to this website for affordable cpap machines.

http://www.secondwindcpap.com

It is a reputable website and is recommended in many forums. DH suffers from sleep apnea too and he recently bought his cpap machine and masks from there.

One other thing ... do you know for sure that your brother suffers from sleep apnea (i.e., has it been confirmed by a sleep study)? Perhaps he should see an ENT and be referred to a sleep clinic. If your brother is in Sydney, I can PM you the name of a very good ENT specialist (so many ENTs suggest taking the tonsils the out when it doesn't make a difference if the sleep apnea is severe ... this doctor does not).

[Chocolate Addict]

I would keep out of it. If he doesn't think his health is deserving of spending money then that is his problem.

Can't you hire those machines short term?

[JuliaD]

I would keep out of it. If he doesn't think his health is deserving of spending money then that is his problem.

This.
It's just different priorities in life.
I understand it's infuriating when someone doesn't want to help themselves, but ultimately there is nothing you can do about it.

[Phascogale]

I'd probably stop worrying about it. It's your brother's problem not yours. He doesn't seem to think that getting a CPAP machine is a priority and they would rather spend that money on other things that aren't a necessity. This is their choice.

If they cry poor then they can sell some stuff, save up for it or decide to spend their money differently.

I'm not sure I'd be going out of my way to help as he doesn't seem to want to help himself.

And like a PP asked. Does he actually have sleep apnoea?

[Tenacious C]

It obviously isn't a priority for them. There are organisations where you can enter into repayment plans or rent a machine if you cannot afford to buy one straight away.

My DH has sleep apnoea and rented a machine at first to make sure he was happy with it (the particular model) before spending the money to buy one.

[~Karla~]

My husband has quite bad sleep apneoa so I know how scary it can be. But if your brother and his wife don't want to spend the money on a CPAP machine while instead spending money on tablets and iPhones and overseas holidays, then there's nothing you can do. Don't buy it for them - sounds like they could afford it if they wanted to, but they'd rather spend their money on other things.

[Holidayromp]

They have poor money management skills and if such a machine was high up on their list of priorities it would have been bought by now.

Stay out of it otherwise you will become yet another avenue of ready cash for them when they are 'short'.

[His Boy Elroy]

Sometimes you have to just realise that you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink.........

From what you have said, their priorities are perhaps not what they should be.

Your brother (a grown man) would feel terrible, and if he cannot make some changes to afford the cpap, then..........

I really do not understand the "his" and "her" money in a marriage.....