[nationalvelvet]

**Ok here we go...Christmas discontenment...(apart from this it was a good day.

My turn to host christmas and my brother asked me what they could bring.
I said - nothing but if you wanted to bring something maybe a dish(from their culture) as I like their food.
He text me and said "We will bring a bottle of drink and prawns"
So that was fine.

When she walked into the kitchen she brought with her dishes of food - prawns and salad and a huge plate of all kinds of meats and bread rolls..
I already had cooked all of the meat...(it didnt get touched much)

Everyone started eating her food ...and food that I had prepared days ahead didnt get touched much.

I made a dish especially for her......it is from her culture and it took me ages to get it all organised.
I looked online firstly and then asked a random lady in Franklins if she could help me..(I knew she was from the culture). She was wonderful and told me to go to this shop to buy the special mayonaise as she said they didnt care for our mayonaise.
I wanted to please my SIL and surprise her.

When I showed her, she shrugged her shoulder and said, "öh yeah I know what that is"
I told her it had the special mayonaise and the gerhkins..She replied,
"I buy the gluten free one from the normal supermarkët"

OK!!

Everyone was enjoying her food and the meat that I had prepared hardly got touched.

Is this considered rude?

If I had known she was going to bring the meat and other meal(already in her own bowls/plate) I wouldn't have bothered.

Apart from that it was a good day....

edited - to add.

She didn't each much from the table and said that she was saving her stomach for the next party she was going to - to her friends place...

This post has been edited by lindenen: 25/12/2012, 09:55 PM

[intd242]

Chances are the message re what to bring got lost between you and her as it went via your brother.

While it was a nice touch for you to make 'her' dish, there probably is a good chance she has it all the time made to her taste, so probably didn't see it as a big deal or just for her.

I wouldn't dwell on it. Sounds like you had a good day, I'd leave it at that - and next time deal directly with SIL.

[MakeLoveNotBacon]

Yeah that's a bit rude. Not so much bringing her plates, but shrugging her shoulders at the effort you had put in.

[wenchwitch]

i think you are over thinking everything and need to chill out.

[mygirlcharlotte]

Yeah that's a bit rude. Not so much bringing her plates, but shrugging her shoulders at the effort you had put in.

Glad i wasnt there..yes that was rude

[4kidlets]

We have vents about guests not bringing anything,vents about guests bringing too much
Leftovers are part of Xmas, I wouldn't worry about it OP, bringing food doesn't sound rude but the reaction to your effort does, perhaps she didn't realise how much effort you went to over it though.

[lisacat]

I am going to go against the grain and say I think it was rude.

When asked if you wanted them to bring something and you said yes please bring ... If they wanted to bring something, they went against this and advised what they would bring, no problem you didn't comment.
To bring a whole range of food to a hosted party that you had not advised the host or for dietary reasons eg gluten free, is in my opinion highly rude. Tell me that at a hosted CHRISTMAS party that you would not expect the host to have not spent lots of time, thought and generally money on the food for the day.

[nationalvelvet]

Yes I will get over it....
I guess I am just disappointed as I went to great lengths to try and make my SIL feel comfortable amongst our traditional Aussie christmas by making something she was culturally familiar with..
I probably went a little overboard doing this!

[trishalishous]

It was sweet of you to try and help her feel at home!

[Mummy Em]

I think what you did was lovely. I can understand you feeling a bit miffed, I think it was a little rude on her part, but I suspect she was nervous and didn't mean to overstep or be dismissive of your efforts.