[blackbird]

Ive just been reading all the venting and most of it seems to be about all the effort we put into xmas and how little it is appreciated.
I mentioned this to my aspy BF who dosent really get xmas and finds it confusing that we all gather around to show love to people we don't like and if we care about spending time with the others we should do it regardless of needing a special occasion.
He said maybe we aren't being appreciated in our efforts because we are actually imposing ourselves on others who did not ask for it despite our good intentions.

I think he has a point, so many people are working hard for nothing and feeling like crap and as if those around them should be grateful for the effort but maybe they just aren't that into it so its hard to pretend gratefulness when the effort to do so feels like an unwanted chore that wasn't wanted in the 1st place? It seems like xmas has gotten big and messy and in trying to "capture the spirit of xmas" we are actually taking the fun out of it. Making it hard work and painful.

Was just contemplating it all really..

[emma_jean]

Yes I tend to agree.

[CupOfCoffee]

I agree, I do think that we do put huge expectations on ourselves. Trying to make everything perfect and putting so much pressure on ourselves (and ultimately we feel disappointed, and crap about ourselves if we fail).

But my husband is also Aspie, so our house is super relaxed at Christmas (because he also doesn't understand all the 'stuff' that happens). So today for lunch we will probably have cheese grilled sandwiches, because that is what he loves to eat.

Or maybe we are just lazy... which is likely also true (I am NT so my only excuse is lazy)

[credence]

Yes I'd agree to an extent.

I've scaled down my Christmas this year considerably.

We're hosting lunch today and I've done no preparation for it yet (other than buying the food yesterday). This morning we've had some pannetone for breakfast. Soon we'll get dressed and go to church because for our family the meaning of Christmas is a religious one.

When we get back, I'll start getting lunch ready and we'll eat a simple but tasty meal with a few relatives.

That's it. I haven't hyped it up at all. I really hate all the consumerism. Somewhere between the presents, the preparation and the build up, the message of Christmas is lost.

[=R2=]

I totally agree. I was tempted to post on fb tonight, 'yay, tomorrow this will finally all be over'.

The reason I didn't is because it's my man's bday and it'd be rude to him.

The reason I feel that way, is it's one bloody day. All this nonsense has been in our faces since October.

Since october, I've been hearing people say, 'have you started your xmas shopping?' then it was, 'have you got much xmas shopping done?', then, 'have you finished your xmas shopping?' Argh! Is that ALL we're able to talk about for all these months? For one day?

Then, you have all the fighting about who does what and where for months before the event that is ONE DAY.

You have parents who've hyped their kids up on the santa thing, then wonder they won't sleep tonight. Not one parent I know who's whinging about it on the net has turned around and said, 'well, you know what? *I* did that, because I decided it was best.' And that's fine. It's a parent's choice and I respect that. But why be surprised at the extra stress it creates on a night when you have to get SO much done?

And on facebook, everyone's talking about how poor they are now, how they have too much food, not enough food for ONE DAY! How tired they are, how they still have wrapping to do, photos of the kids to do, photos of the tree, parents putting up the tree and hating the mess it makes, then not looking forward to taking the bloody thing down.

You've got people being ungrateful, people taking advantage of the goodwill of others. People getting sh*t presents they hate, bought by someone who probably couldn't afford, then they've given that person a sh*t present they can't afford too, and round and round it goes.

And then everyone is broke, and needs to declutter their houses of all the sh*t they have, which, depending on how motivated people are, may or may not end up in landfill.

I respect that people choose to celebrate xmas. I do. I just don't understand why people will go on and on about all this STRESS of xmas, then in the next breath, ask me why I don't celebrate, or think I'm somehow missing out on all this^^^^

Gosh you poor thing . Sucks to be you eh?

I have wonderful memories of Christmas growing up and now we're doing the same for our kids. It doesn't have to be stressful although a handful of people do make it that way. Our Christmases are all about food, drink and being with family (with presents on the side ). We don't spend a lot of money on presents but teach the joy of giving to our children. Fancy that mine went to bed on time last night because they couldn't wait for Christmas Day to come. They have just woken up next door giggling to each other as they found their Santa sacks bulging.

[TherophosaBlondi]

What a bunch of Scrooges. If you only did things with the expectations of gratuitous thanks then no wonder you are let down.

[Holidayromp]

What a bunch of Scrooges. If you only did things with the expectations of gratuitous thanks then no wonder you are let down.

Bloody hear hear.

If you don't want to do - don't. It is simple as that. Don't bring other people down with your attitudes.

[cinnabubble]

I think, come 8pm, the Venting board will be littered with those whose family and friends failed to deliver the amount of enthusiasm commensurate with their expectations. Chances are, it won't be the family and friends' fault.

We are so going away next year.

[mummame]

Christmas for us is wonderful as we do it simply with just immediate family. We don't join all the families together cousins, aunty's uncles. We also just buy gifts for kids. Christmas is for children anyway I see so many people making it about EVERYONE so I can see how it can blow out to be in the thousands of dollars. Christmas is always a relaxed and fun day.

My kids also went to bed early, the early start was a bit tiring but like you said PP its just ONE DAY!!! I am sure I can deal with it.

Merry Christmas

[**Mel**]

If people are banging on like pork chops (like Rawr's family and friends) then yes, they are missing something important in the whole picture.

Everyone I know, though, loves the fuss, is thankful to hang with family and friends, and enjoys putting some 'magic' in their kids' lives or enjoys doing the church and kids in nativity play type things.

I even enjoyed the IL's Christmas on Sunday, and would only have one small vent about one thing that happened

My family and friends are sensible and down-to-earth.