[tickledpink72]

My almost 3 year old DS still has a dummy. He does use it during the day, but not all the time. He likes to know that its nearby, and will use it if he is getting tired or is upset. But a lot of the time its just sitting on the cupboard. He uses it at sleep time, and can't get to sleep without it.

I personally have no problem with any of the above.

However, I am getting increasing pressure from both my Mum & MIL about it. Every time they come over they make comments to him like "Why have you got that thing in your mouth" and "You don't need that, give it to me". My mother has gone as far as to say to me "Well he's going to look pretty funny on his first day at school with a dummy in his mouth" (This earned her a fair telling off from me).

My question is, has anyone just let their child decide when they are finished with their dummy? I'm not sure if I should allow him this or should I listen to the mothers and arrange a visit from the "Dummy Fairy".

[mum2jp]

My DS is almost 2. He has a dummy for sleep time. When I check on him before I go to bed he has usually spat it out so he really only needs it to get to sleep. I am not ready to push him to get rid of it yet as I know he wakes sometimes and puts it back in himself during the night as I hear him fussing around on the monitor so f it wasn't there he would probably wake right up. At almost 3 I would be worried about the effects on his teeth and speech for a lot of day use. Maybe you could try weaning him slowly by restricting day use and only having it only for bed. We do this by having DS give it to his sleep teddy that stays in his cot during the day, so it's out of sight out of mind.

[overthehill]

DS is almost 3 and has his dummy still for sleep only, I pick it up and hide it during the day. With DS1 I took it off him at 2, which wasn't too bad but DS2 is much more fiery a d also wouldn't understand the whole dummy fairy thing yet. So I'm waiting it out hoping he will decide to get rid of it, if not I will give it maybe 6 months and then have to deal with taking it from him. I have put pin pricks in them but he still sucks it!
Good luck!

[tibs]

A girl in my mothers group has a dummy she uses like your child. Her mother always said she give it up when she is ready. Well our kids are starting school next year and she still has it. She was carrying it at school orientation last month, no joke Not cool IMO and the poor thing will probably be picked on because nobody taught her any different

[SCARFACE CLAW]

DD gave hers up a few months after turning 3, when she started 3yo kinder. She just said they were for babies and she's a big girl now and that was that

[sarkazm76]

My DS uses his for nap time and bedtime at night only.... or if he's really sick we migth let him have it during the day at home. I recently wanted to see if he was ready to get rid of it so used a technique I think I got from EB... cut a hole in the dummy so when he sucked it didn't work properly.... I do not recommend doing this to the only one you have left in the house. It was very hard and night 2 I ended up dashing to Wollies for a new one- he wasnt' ready. He woke on night one and got very upset and so I gave him his water bottle just for something to suck on and then he wanted to sleep with THAT and it was jsut awful. He had refused his nap that day too. We just decided he's probably not ready yet.
We'll try again every 6 months ansd see what happens.

[iwanttosleepin]

At nearly 3 years old I'm in the 'why on earth have you got that thing in your mouth' camp.

I'd be restricting it to sleep time only and setting a time frame for ditching it. Maybe 3rd birthday and swap it for something like a toy.

A 3 year old does not need a dummy hanging out their mouth all day.

[girltribe4]

I was getting pressure about my 3+yr old DD having her dummies so we took them away which was all very easy except now she is a very happy thumb sucker

[girltribe4]

I refuse to fight the ''thumb battle'' with her , I have never forgotten or forgiven my parents for the plasters or yucky stuff on my thumbs to stop me . It didn't work either , if anything it made me more determined. I have let my 2 previous thumb suckers give up in their own time .

[Ehill]

Yes, my DD decided herself just after turning 3. I had no problem with the dummy by this age as long as it was only at sleep time. I was also getting pressure from people which tbh I ignored. It shat me. I know my DD and she is pretty shy and not very confident and this was her security blanket. She never had a 'blankie' or teddy or anything like that. What grated on me the most was that a mum who kept hassling me (she had done the dummy fairy thing at around 2) has to drag grotty teddies to the shops, in the car etc and cue meltdown if it is ever forgotten with her kids. I figured my dummy was much easier!

Anyway all we did was talk about growing up, being a big girl etc and how big girls dont use dummies. We didnt pressure her, just discussed it in conversation. One weekend she went for a sleepover at the IL's and her 6yo cousin also slept over. My DD loves her cousin and I suspect the cousin said something to her when they went to bed. I know my MIL never would as she didnt care about the dummy. Anyway the next day she came home, told DH she wanted to put the dummy in the wheelie bin and that was it! Gone forever.

I am a fan of letting kids do things in their own time. My DD is a pretty stubborn personality so this approach works for us. You know your child best so ignore advice and do what you thinks works for them and their personality.

This post has been edited by Ehill: 23/12/2012, 11:05 AM