[bee76]

Hi all, this is my first time in the TT threads.

My nearly 8 year old daughter has trouble with night time wetting. She has occasional issues during the day when she doesn't quite make it to the loo in time, but the biggest problem is nights.

We're now onto our third go with the enurensis alarm due to relapses. She's achieved dryness twice (the first time at age 6 - before then she wet every night), and has had multiple relapses in the last couple of years but only two longer term ones. Her younger sister has been dry day and night since before she turned three, and I think that does my older daughter's head in a bit.

Our hearts break for her, as it really, really upsets her that she hasn't been able to stay dry. My feeling is that it is partly something that will only correct itself with time - her Dad and her female cousin both also had trouble. and I'm not sure who else in the family. Her Dad didn't get dry until he was nearly at the end of primary school and he now suffers from insomnia and what he terms "a small bladder". Although she didn't test positive to any health triggers at first, we just got a referral for a paed to see if medication or something else might help.

As well as wanting to help and support her to achieve dryness, we want to ensure her emotional wellbeing over time as well. She recently read a book about a boy who used the alarm, and was supported by his best friend who, coincidentally, also was a night wetter and they helped each other. She'd love to speak with someone else who understands what it's like but of course it's a massively taboo subject - I'm barely allowed to acknowledge it to her Dad let alone anyone else, she is intensively private about it (understandably).

This may be a bit of an out-there idea, but if anyone else is in, or has been in, a similar situation and their child would be willing to share (by proxy through this thread), I think she'd really appreciate it.

Any tips or ideas, or shared experiences also welcome.

Thanks

[It'sallgood]

I think a referral to a paed at this time is the best idea from a medical point of view. There are conditions which cause this and the knowledge that other blood relatives have had this problem is certainly telling. In fact, I think your husband needs to see a specialist as well. That's not really normal for an adult male to have problems controlling bladder function at night (common in older men with prostate trouble though) but in a young man, and if he has always had a problem, then it's well worth him getting himself to a doctor asap.

I wish you and her all the best, I'm sorry, can't help with the contact, but I have an almost 8 yr old and can imagine that if this was her, she too would be quite distressed about it.

Tamm

[emnut]

are you using a continence clinic/nurse in conjunction with the alarm? I know we find with DS (9 year old) that when we have the alarm we are super strict in monitoring his fluid intake which we know to be a large part of his problem (he doesn't drink anywhere near enough) but after he is dry for a while we tend to get a bit complacent and he starts being wet again. We have only discovered this with filling out the diary we have to for fluid intake/urine output as we start the alarm process again.

DS has definitely found it helpful having a friend to talk to - he & a good friend have competitions to see who can be dry for the longest, but it was only through talking to the school that we discovered that he was also having issues (they only knew from a sleepover).

Seeing a paed about it now is definitely a good idea, although ours that DS has seen since birth just wants us to persevere with the continence clinic for now.

[intrigued]

I think this is probably more common than you think.
My partner's DD2 recently turned 7 and only rarely has a dry night. She usually wears a nappy at night because we find that it is too distressing for her when she wakes and has wet the bed, has interrupted sleep etc.
She is fine during the day - most days anyway with only the occasional accident.
She does not yet seem to be too concerned about wearing nappies, occassionally she wants to try without but after a couple of nights of bedwetting we usually go back to her wearing them.
We've tried the alarm but they don't really work for us.
We've also been to the GP who said that it is really very common..

Sorry that I can't be of more help, I think what must worry you is that your daughter is so distressed about it (a problem that we luckily don't have yet).. Going to see a specialist to rule out physical problems and / or a psychologist might be the next step for you?

Good luck.

[findingada]

Like others have suggested, I think you should follow up with the referral to the paed and get your partner to talk to a doctor about it too (for example, it could point to your partner having sleep apnoea). I was also having a discussion with a friend recently (noting we are both completely unqualified to talk about the subject), but we were speculating about whether night lights and any other forms of light at night could interfere with night time training for some children - specifically having a continuous or a movement sensor light turn on through the night in the child's room. It's just something I have always wondered about because I have a few friends who struggle to fully night time train their older children. I also suspect it is quite common too but often not talked about especially as the child gets older. The lack of discussion about older children and night time training makes it harder to collaborate and come up with ideas to help deal with the problem in older children. Best of luck during your investigations.

[naturalgoodness]

DS2 turned 8 this week. He still wets every night. We saw a paediatric urologist a few weeks ago who felt it was still a bit early for her to be seeing him, as unless there is something obviously medically wrong, she would usually not be seeing a child until closer to 9.

After having an ultrasound that included observing kidney function, it was established there was nothing medically wrong, and in the case of DS2 she believes that he does not drink enough liquid during the day to expand the bladder enough to hold overnight.

Her instructions were to make sure that he drinks 1 litre of water over a day, making sure it is complete by dinner time. He can then have 1 drink at dinner but his body should then be hydrated enough to not need another until the next morning. She believes that he will then empty his bladder at bed time, and over a few months it will expand and be able to hold what is produced over night.

She gave us 3 months to try this BEFORE attempting a bed alarm, as she believes bed alarms cause distress if the bladder is not necessary.

Prior to this we had tried the nasal spray - it worked for 1 night.

A friend is also taking her 9 year old to the same urologist who has him on a bed alarm due to age, another friend has a nearly 8 year old who has achieved some success so far with chiropractic treatment.

For me, it was a matter of making sure that there was no defect or medical issue causing the wetting - once this was established I was happy to let nature take its course and see how he goes.

[pefeli]

Hello,

My 8 and a half year old dd still wets the bed. Her younger brother also night time trained at 3. She has family history of bed wetting too.

My DD has seen a chiropractor which seemed to help and then it didn't - she went back to nightly wetting. It has only been in the last few months that she is not wetting nightly. We use a bed mat (no alarms, just one to soak up the wee) and when she sleeps over elsewhere she wears a night nappy.

My DD prefers others to not to know she wets the bed but has said it at a sleepover party because another child was being teased. I was proud of her for that!

Good luck.

[laridae]

I was a bed wetter. Very little worked, the alarm certainly didn't!

The doctor (this was 25 years ago!) suggested doing pelvic floor exercises, but again, don't think it helped much.

I grew out of it about the same time I started going through puberty. So about 12.

My dad was the same, he wet his until he was about 15!

So its not unusual - its just not talked about as its embarrassing.

[lucky 2]

I don't make a big deal of it to dd who is 8. She is heavily wet most nights.
After reading this thread I shoukld start a water/drinking chart as I don't think she drinks enough water during the day, she just gets too distracted and then drinks more at night.
She is not upset, ashamed or bothered about it, it's just her, we've got camp this year so I'll get some help before that if needed, ? with a nasal spray for the 2 nights she is away.
I know an incontinence nurse who'll I see closer to 9 if it is still needed.
It is also in the family and they know's this. She isn't interested in sleep overs as yet which is good.

[taranicole]

It's not uncommon for bedwetting to continue until much older. My bestfriend told me she was still bedwetting until she was 13 - 14 years old which is why she was never 'allowed' to go to sleepovers. My 10 year old niece still wears a pullup to bed.

...My MIL confessed once that she still occassionally wets the bed and has ever since she was a little girl - she said the problem never went away.

Sorry - that wasn't to scare you - more to say, it's not uncommon even amongst teenagers and even adults..it's just one of those things that people don't really talk about it so you're definetly not alone.