[Cath42]

I'm so glad to read that things are going well, OP. It sounds as though you have a fairly typical baby!

I think that how well mothers cope is determined by a lot of things other than the baby himself or herself. Birth trauma and breastfeeding difficulties can take a terrible toll, as can lack of practical or financial support. And exhaustion can be a cumulative thing: a mother who already has at least one child goes into a subsequent pregnancy already suffering from a permanent degree of exhaustion. Second/third/fourth pregnancies are very different to first pregnancies, simply because there's no time to rest. The surrounding circumstances really can make an incredible difference to an individual's capacity to cope.

*Edited to add: Mothers groups are political and emotional hotbeds, where things are seldom as they seem. Some, if not many, of these women will be struggling at home in ways they will never admit to. Some will have partners who are completely unsupportive. Some will be struggling financially. Some will be having terrible trouble with breastfeeding or feeling enormous guilt about formula feeding. Some will be reliving traumatic births day after day. Some will have post natal depression. Some of them will be putting on brave faces when inside they are screaming and suffocating and wanting to cry all day. Many mothers who smile when they say they're struggling or who complain and then say "But that's okay. He's healthy and that's all that matters" are actually feeling a lot worse than they let on. That doesn't mean you should hide the fact that you're really enjoying these early weeks. It just means that you need to tread carefully.

This post has been edited by Cath42: 22/12/2012, 03:34 PM