[Jersey Caramel]

I felt similar to you in the early days, though I did struggle a bit more with being confident in how I was doing things compared to other mothers from my antenatal group. My baby was similar - not easy, but not so difficult that I couldn't cope.

I had a lovely post-birth hormonal high thing going on for about 2 months. Personally I find from 4 months - 12 months the hardest, neither of my babies slept well (didn't sleep through till well over 12 months) and it just seems relentless and by then the post-birth fuzzies have worn off! That was the stage that affected my mood/temper/our relationship.

Fortunately or unfortunately, every stage does pass... enjoy him!

[tamietamara]

I suppose in my mummy's group we ultimately want everyone to be honest and truthful. We certianly dont want mums to pretend to be having a bad time if they aren't for example. If you are afraid that you may seem overly happy and "fake", just ensure you are showing empathy for the other mums when they are having a bad day. Show them support without seeming superior if you know what I mean.

Just offering a little advice, as I know that my mummy's group is the single best support I have and I wouldn't want to lose that support for my life. And even if you are having an easy time now, you never know what is around the corner and you may need their advice and support down the track.

Also know that there isn't anything wrong with asking for help or advice or support etc if you are having a bad day in the future. Don't set yourself up for not being able to have a "bad" day in the future by seeming like the perfect mum now.

[Propaganda]

Yes, some are just easy. Mine was. It wasn't any parenting miracle on my behalf, I just happened to have a baby that required very little extra attention. I fed her, clothed her, changed her, but there was little else to be done. We never suffered health issues, feeding issues, sleep issues. I never experienced a lack of sleep, as she slept through from a very young age (a few weeks) and before that point in time, I just slept whenever she did.

I try not to bring this up though, not when others are struggling. They don't need to know I have had it so easy. It just sounds like I'm gloating, and nobody needs to hear that when they're going through a tough time.

I thought it would get more difficult in time, and it has, but I still think I have a very easy child compared to others. There's been little in the way of problems or issues at all in her life, and my child is now 7. My husband and I were just very lucky.

This post has been edited by Propaganda: 20/12/2012, 09:45 PM

[howdo]

I felt the same actually. Apparently I was supposed to be all stressed out because she cried all the time. (Er, is she?) And I must be this and that, and isn't the other a problem...?

I had a great time until #2 started being crap sleeper from about 6-7 months. DS was also a very easy baby ho cause me no dramas at all. Of course the 3yo by that point was driving me inbloodysane but the babies themselves, even as newborns were gold.

[Funwith3]

I think your mummy's group is prob a little bit annoyed at your overly positive attitude. I say this not to be a cow, but to tell you that sometimes people just want to know that they rent the only ones having a bad day etc. Having you telling them that your version of events is super easy or not challenging at all an much easier etc is prob a little condescending to be truthful. I have the lowliest mummy's group that I have been very lucky to be a part of for 4 years now and I know that someone constantly sprouting things like this would be a little annoying after a while. Not to say you can't enjoy being a mummy, of course ou can and you should be proud. But to constantly be replying to their whining with positiveness may be getting under their skin.

Enjoy our bub and motherhood but just remember that everyone's experience and tolerances are different and that you don't want to be known as one of "those mothers"......

I agree with this. It's so great that you're relishing in motherhood, you're obviously dealing with it very well. Your baby doesn't sound easy at all to be honest, in fact some of the things you explained sound downright difficult (lots of night waking, needing to be held quite often, vomiting etc). So you're obviously very patient, and you've taken very well to parenting.

But be careful that you're not painting it out to be something that its not. Mastitis (well, a bad bout of it) is horrendous. Needing to constantly cuddle and hold your baby - when do you get your house clean or dinner cooked? Maybe you're expectations of cleanliness aren't high (please don't think I'm being nasty here, i don't mean to be). My standards of cleanliness are high and it really makes me anxious and uptight if my house is not clean. So holding my baby for hours a day and not being able to put him/her down would drive me mad. Maybe dishes not being done doesn't worry you where it might bother others.

Maybe you can handle living on 4 hours sleep a night. Many people need more.

Maybe you have a lot of help where as other women might not?

Anyway, I suppose all I'm saying is don't brag about it or rub it in everyone's face. Sure, celebrate how we'll you're doing, but lend a kind ear to your mothers group friends because one day you might need them to repay the favour.

[semf]

OP I could have written your post word for word - right down to the flat nipples and 2nd degree tear!

My DS was IDENTICAL - very "easy" and an absolute delight to the point where I stopped going to mothers group because I felt I couldn't join in on any of the conversations about how hard xyz was and was reluctant to comment on anything lest I make an already vulnerable mum feel worse.

We found it got a bit tougher when at 7 months he picked up his first sniffle and it threw his sleeping a bit. Now at 11 months we're easing him off the frequent wakings for night feeds and we're much more sleep deprived than we were at the beginning but we'll get there. In hindsight I probably could have put more effort into teaching him to self settle when younger but at the time it was so easy to fed him briefly and have him drift off to sleep in a matter of minutes. You do what you need to at the time. Even now he settles quickly with a cuddle and a song.

Around 5 months was the golden period for us - he was sleeping through the night, his catnaps were stretching out to longer decent naps and he was just so unbelievably cruisy. 9 months was the hardest - decent naps but would only settle on the boob for no more than 1.5hrs at a stretch. We seem to have reach an equilibrium now - tired but happy.

It all changes so quickly. Do what works for you and enjoy it as much as you can. Best of luck

[erindiv]

SC - could it be due to the fact it was a longer journey for you to get your little one than it is for some others, so you are so overjoyed at finally having your baby that you just don't mind all the hard parts?

Your baby sounds like a normal baby and you are doing wonderfully

[Mumma_G]

I think a lot of people do the woe is me thing or just dont understand what a role of parenthood means ... i know its more than we all think, bu some people really have no idea. We have a couple in our family with a young babe, always going on about what a tough baby she is etc. When anyone visits ... she doesnt even cry. They take her to the movies, to restaurants, shopping centres etc. I am sorry but you dont do that with a tough baby. Your baby sounds like a normal baby, we have our good days and our bad. I think its great that you have surrounded yourself with so much support.

[redkris]

I don't think your DS sounds massively easy, but maybe the newborn stage just suits you. My DS was a little easier than yours, and I found it a breeze once breastfeeding and my hormones settled at about 6 weeks. I found myself thinking "Is this as hard as it gets?"
Then I found out I'm not so good at dealing with toddlers, especially very smart, strong, incredibly stubborn, fearless late talkers, which is exactly what DS became. Some of the other mums in my mum's group who had a shocking newborn had an absolutely brilliant toddler, you just never know how you will deal with things until it happens. It's better now, but I'm really looking forward to DS having kindy next year with someone else trying to deal with that brain of his!
Oh, and it took us 4 years to have DS, by the time he was born I'd read every birth/baby/toddler book in the library, didn't make a scrap of difference when he turned 2.

[lucky 2]

You sound like you have had a relatively uncomplicated transition to new motherhood.
I smiled when reading your experiences with your young baby.
It sounds great.
Congratulations on the birth of your baby and I hope you continue to feel good and coping.

nb, I didn't feel at all like you but I know some women do, if I could have controlled my feelings, I would have been just like you!