[Spring Chickadee]

Before My Baby boy arrived last month everyone warned me how terrible the first few months are, how difficult they found coping, how they didn’t feel human, how their relationship struggled, how the sleep deprivation feels like a form of torture but that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The friends I visited always looked like they had been hit by a truck, or felt scared to have a second child given how stressful the newborn period was for their first. So I went into labour expecting for things to be really hard for a while.

So now my baby boy is 6 weeks old and I just haven’t found it to be terrible at all. So far it wouldn’t even rank it in my top 10 for the most stressful or even tiring periods of my life. So it leaves me wondering, is my baby just easy?

I had a drug free birth so felt great and recovered in a flash (only issue was a 2nd degree tear w/ 20 stitches)
I have flat nipples so attachment needed to be perfected and I’ve had a bout of mastitis, but generally other than that Breastfeeding has been working well for us since hospital
I Breastfeed on demand and never leave him to cry
He's picked up and cuddled most of the day
he cluster feeds in the early morning and evening. Generally I fed 12+ times a day early on and now around 10x daily
He wakes anywhere between 3-6 times a night (between 8am-8pm) with his longest stretch averaging 4 hours.
He only catnaps during the day
He possits after most feeds, vomits properly at least once a day. Early on he cried after every feed with wind, now it’s just a few feeds a day sometimes with screaming. GP is keeping an eye as she suspects mild reflux.
He has fussy unsettled days where he’ll scream and cling to me all day long, then happy days that he is alert and cheery
On a handful of days I’ve felt very tired, carried him all day and not had a shower
Most days I go out the either a café, a friends, the shops or mother group. Today I went into the office for 6 hours for the mental stimulation. My baby goes everywhere with me.

Yes some days I feel tired, most I don’t. Some nights I feel a little stressed if he is crying excessively, but I generally feel calm and do whateve ri nee dto help make him calm also. Yes my hormones have made me moody at times, but that’s to be expected and I’ve gotten over it quickly. Yes he relies on me 24hours a day and is attached to my breasts for feeding and comfort, but Isn’t that exactly what I signed up for.

To be completely honest I’m actually ENJOYING the past 6 weeks. I enjoyed the birth, I enjoyed the hospital stay, I enjoy looking into his eyes and holding him close for the night feeds, I enjoy holding him for hours. I’m not phased if he continues to feed as often as he does, or if he doesn’t sleep through the night for many months (or years) to come- though he seems to be getting close to it. It’s exactly what I signed up for and I just feel so exceedingly lucky to be his mum so I’m happy to do anything he needs.

My DH and I haven't fought or snapped at all. we still snuggle and feel very much in love, if anything moreso.

Friends and other mums in my mothers group look at me like I have 2 heads when I say I’m enjoying myself and that I’m not finding it that challenging or excessively tiring.

So am I just missing something or is he just a super easy baby? Is this actually the easy part and it gets harder soon?

This post has been edited by Spring Chickadee: 20/12/2012, 08:59 PM

[Old Grey Mare]

Easy babies do exist but nobody ever wants to know about them It's the same as holidays - every one is interested in all the things that went wrong but no-one wants to know if you had a fabulous time. I'm sure there will be people saying "enjoy it while it lasts" but it may be that you don't have all the usual dramas with your little man. So glad that you are doing so well with him but please don't beat yourself up if things do go pear-shaped.

[libbylu]

Good to hear its going so well, SpringChikadee!
I think your baby sounds very typical - not easy, or hard.
I would say your experience with kids has led you to have a better understanding of what it requires to care for one than many women who have never had any mothering, or even babysitting experience. I know that although I am usually a chilled person I was very anxious after DS was born because I really had absolutely no idea what I was doing! Anxiety is very tiring and crushes your self esteem.
And perhaps you also cope better with disturbed sleep than some others?
I had NEVER had to deal with sleep deprivation before I had DS and it turned me into a grumpy weepy zombie. Now I am an expert I expect I will cope much better with no. 2!
Congrats on doing such a great job!

[TwoHeadedGirl]

I felt the same after DD was born. We had little issues here and there but nothing that left me feeling overwhelmed. I didn't feel sleep deprived or exhausted, she wasn't a good day sleeper but I still felt I had plenty of time to myself and she was flexible enough to get out whenever I wanted. I didn't understand at all why other mums found it so challenging.
Then I had DS. Completely different baby and I guess it didn't help that I had a toddler to look after too but I finally realized why some other mums struggled.
So, for me it was the DD was just an easy baby. Maybe your DS is too. Enjoy it! Because it might still change!

[little lion]

I can relate to some of what you've said. I don't think it is all sunshine and rainbows but I guess like you say in your post, you can rationalise it when things aren't going well. That's a sign of resilience. For me at 8 weeks, things are getting better as time goes by. I laughed about the 'hit by a truck' description, I suspect this was me in week 2.

[EBeditor]

Sounds like you are doing really well and have a typical baby!

One thing that stood out for me is that you regularly visit friends or a mothers' group. I am not sure what other support you have, but emotional and physical support can make a big difference. Sounds like you also expected it to be hard, so you were pleasantly surprised.

[amesv]

Good on you, embrace and enjoy.

[Relish*]

DD was like that, very textbook. Congrats! DS on the other hand, would be an only child had he come first.

ETA - I actually found the newborn stage easier in both cases compared to the crawling stage though, and certainly the toddler years. So don't get too comfortable

This post has been edited by Relish*: 20/12/2012, 09:11 PM

[chickiedee]

This was me with DS ,so easy that i did not believe other ladies storie so of how'difficult' it was. He was an easy baby.So i went for baby no2 and got TWINS....... now i believe all the horror stories as they are mine .One baby+ two parents = time, time to pick up crying baby, time for lots of demand feeding ,time for cuddles when all is not right etc .Now add in a toddler and two small demand fed babies= madness and chaos. No time to go to the toilet. and i mean me !!!!
I dont think your experience is unusual for an easy first baby but when you have more 'little people' demanding your time,energy and patience you might think a bit different. I still have a DH but our relationship has changed and have our priorities.He is amazing and strong and without him i dont know how we all survived the first yr.

[Twolittleducks]

Congratulations!

To be honest, I don't think your baby sounds particularly easy or particularly difficult, fairly normal actually. It just sounds like you went in to it with realistic expectations - very sensible!

Hope you continue to enjoy things.

This post has been edited by LouLou1979: 20/12/2012, 09:20 PM