[kreme]

We are currently in Sydney. DD has just finished FYOS and DS is due to start next year.

DH has been offered a job in Melbourne. It's a great opportunity for him and it comes with a nice payrise so that will help set us up financially. Taking the job is the right thing to do for our family.

But I worry about DD and DS changing schools. DS is so excited about starting school and because he is so familiar with the school from doing drop off and pick up all this year, he feels very comfortable. DD loves her school and has made lots of friends. She is signed up for violin and netball for next year and she can't wait to start them.

If we move we really can't go until term 2 next year. DH's company is acquiring the firm and has to go through the due diligence process. If the purchase falls through then there will be no job for him, so we cannot make the move earlier.

The chances are DH will need to start about half way through term 1 and our plan is for him to commute while kids and I stay in Sydney the end of term. Because the school holidays don't coincide the kids will start in week 3 of term 2 at their new school.

When I think of telling the kids about the move I feel sick.

I'm not as worried about DD, she is a very resilient child. She will be upset but she'll cope. But poor DS, starting 2 new schools in 2 terms

Has anyone done anything similar? Are we horrible to even contemplate it?

[lorywhol]

I am doing the same thing with my DD in Term 2, 2013.

Perth to Canberra. No advice for you - just wishing you luck.

My DD even has to go down a class :-( due to the cut off.

[Bluie]

I did this with DS1 in 2010, it was heartbreaking at the time as he had just started at the school I actively campaigned for him to get into, he had made friends and had a great teacher. However an opportunity too good to pass up came along and our family moved to WA.

Changing school systems was tough as he did really seem to go "down" a grade as well. Having said that he adjusted really well, made some great new friends very quickly and has even had another change of schools since living here.

Perhaps don't discuss it with the children until next year as they will be filled with nerves etc starting school and this could just add on to them. We were only given 6 weeks to move (from NSW to WA) and to be honest it was better for the kids not to know until it was definite and really happening and not too far away.

Good luck, I hope it all works out for you.

[opethmum]

I would wait until things are more final, in that wait until the due diligence procedures are over and then you would have a better idea how to tell the kids. Children deal with absolutes better and to deal with hypothetical can make them a bit uneasy and make them anxious unnecessarily.
When you know more then you can tell them when the time is right and you won't feel so sick about it.

[snuffles]

Sounds tough!

For *my* kids, I'd tell them about the possibility of moving, my kids deal much better with lots of warning of possibilities, and I keep them updated with what's happening etc. DH is in the RAAF so we've had a few moves, and they know that moves are always a possibility. We are moving again probably at the end of next year, they know it's a possible rather than an absolute but at least the idea is in their mind IYKWIM. (They are 6, 7 and 9).

Moving during FYOS is something I always wanted to avoid and fortunately have managed to avoid it, but kids are very resilient, they surprise me all the time with the way they deal with changes in situations and locations and with disappointments. I think be there for them to talk (once you have told them) as much as you can, answer questions as best you can, be honest if you don't know something.

Another thing we do is put together a small photo book for each child, containing photos of the house, garden, school, friends, teachers, playgrounds they like, pretty much whatever they want to remember, and they keep these in their rooms and can look at them anytime. This works particularly for my middle child as surprisingly, he copes the least well with big changes.

Good luck!!!

[Holidayromp]

The younger they are the more resilient they are to change. Also they have not had the opportunity to forge long last relationships which don't usually occur until their last year in Primary. They change friendships like underwear!
However I would not recommend this for kids in Year Six. We are facing exactly that so we are sending our DD ahead of us so she can start Year Six in the new school and will have the whole year to make friends to go through with her to high school.
Mum and Dad made the big mistake of taking me half way out of Year six to start in a completely different school, in a different region. I never overcame that and my future education suffered as a result and never really had any friends. As Dad described it 'a fish out of water'. They have told me on several occasions that if they had the opportunity to go back in time they would never do it - it was too hard on me and I lost out big time. Everyone else benefitted at my expense.
So what I am trying to say do it whilst the children are young and in the early years of their schooling - this is the time to make changes. But don't consider it when they are established and in Year Six.

[kreme]

Thanks for the advice, much appreciated!

Hearing about grade changes has made me panic a little.

DD will turn 7 in July and she will be in Year 1 next year

DS will turn 5 this month and he is going into FYOS.

So we're in line with the Victorian system aren't we?

[snuffles]

The NSW and Vic systems are very similar as I understand it. The age cut-offs are different, in Vic it's April I think and here in NSW it's July. But as your DS will already by 5 there shouldn't be an issue.

Melbourne is a nice place to live, a bit colder though!

[lucky 2]

The younger they are the more resilient they are to change.

I have read that this isn't necessarily true in relation to moving house at least.
I read this article in the Age today- http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/shifting...1218-2bl3x.html
The article may be reassuring as the poorer outcomes were with repeated changes of residence and not one move.
This one seems to relate too- http://www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/life/bl...0116-1q3g9.html
I think you've got to do what you've got to do, the teachers will help at both ends, there will probably be some fall out for both children.
My dd has certainly been unsettled with each move we have made (3 to date and she is 8). I think it gets easier for her as she matures.
All the best.

[crazyone2989]

I went to three primary schools as a kid. First time we moved cities when I was half way through year 1 and then moved country (only nz to australia) for the start of year 4. I was fine both times. It was harder on my brother the second time as he was in year 6 so only had the year to build friendships before highschool but overall he was fine.

Don't stress too much!