[divineM]

My DD is 21 months and still has a BF first thing in the mornign and as part of bedtime routine (but not fed to sleep). she loves it and so do I, but I'm starting to think I might still be breastfeeding a 4 year old and that's not so appealing. I know if I just started to say no she would get most upset and we have had such a great breastfeeding relationship I don't want to end it on a sour note. she likes milk and i have offered it in a cup at feed times which she will have but always asks for breastmilk as well. how did you wean your toddler or if you didn't at what age did they self-wean?

[tamjk]

My first self weaned off the breast at just past two years of age, my daughter is 21 months and is bottle fed, but she's beginning to act in a similar way to DS did when he self weaned.

[Tesseract]

My DD is 21 months and still has a BF first thing in the mornign and as part of bedtime routine (but not fed to sleep). she loves it and so do I, but I'm starting to think I might still be breastfeeding a 4 year old and that's not so appealing. I know if I just started to say no she would get most upset and we have had such a great breastfeeding relationship I don't want to end it on a sour note. she likes milk and i have offered it in a cup at feed times which she will have but always asks for breastmilk as well. how did you wean your toddler or if you didn't at what age did they self-wean?

My DD is the same age and I sometimes think about this too. But like you I love it and she's not ready to wean, so I'm not worrying about what will happen in two years time! For me, my personal limit is probably about 3 years, and if we are still feeding then I'll probably wean her.

If you want her to wean nowish, then you could start with "don't offer, don't refuse" which is exactly as it sounds - you don't offer to feed her, and you might do some distraction, but you don't refuse if she flat out asks either. This can encourage gentle weaning. But if you don't want to wean her yet, and you did say you both still love it, then put the worry out of your mind. Don't worry about it until you actually want her to wean, then you can use the techniques best for the age group (ie a 3 year old can be reasoned with differently to a toddler).

[divineM]

thanks for your replies. Tesseract I agree with personla limit of 3 except my original limit was 12 months, then got revised to 18 moths, then 2 years which we are approaching...have you ever not been there for a feed? i have a work function in Feb which will mean I can't be there at bedtime and a bit worried how she will go, I have always been there for both feeds.

[meemee75]

My 21 month old has just weaned ( 10 days without a feed). I dropped Jim.back to 1 feed a day by changing our routine in the afternoon and didn't offer the breast or used distraction of he asked.
Eventually the same happened with the morning feed. If I didn't sit on the couch after we got up he didn't ask & was happy with some fruit while I got brekky ready.

[Chelara]

I weaned DD at 21 months. We went away for the weekend, the distraction helped. She asked while we were away but by the time we got back home she had stopped asking. It was pretty simple and not at all devastating to her or anything like that. I Thought it would be a lot worse.

[sakura73]

I am interested in this topic too: DS is 16 months and BF last thing at night and first thing in the morning. I could probably replace the night feed with a bottle quite easily but he is very eager for the breast in the morning and I often find I am feeding him at 5am after which he goes back to sleep: not something I can see happening with a bottle.

on the other hand, i think that if I were not still BFing perhaps he would not wake so early wanting it!

I am a bit over it and would like to stop, so will follow this thread with interest.

[Chelara]

Oh an I wouldn't worry about your work function. Chances are she'll cope just fine without you there. I worried about so many things with my dd (my first) it often turned out to be me who was over complicating things and pre determining how she'd react to change. I coslept with her and thought shed never transition, she was fine. She was fine without me laying beside her until she fell asleep, she was fine when dad looked after her and I went back to work, fine when we had DS. I worried so much about all of these things needlessly, she just took it all in her stride.

[jopha]

For our last breastfeed, I told my 23 month old that they were empty. She seemed happy with that explanation and only asked once after that, a few weeks later. I explained they were empty and she was ok and moved on. She is happy to have milk in a sippy cup instead.

[IVL]

I weaned DD 2 around this age also. I had to go away for work for a week and knew that she would be fine - she was an out of side, out of mind kind of girl. I had also left her with others many times when I couldn't be there and she would happliy take a glass of milk from the fridge in place of me. Maybe try and have your partner or a grandparent, someone she if comfortable with the to the bedtime of morning with her and see how she responds. If she is happy then maybe you could try being absent for a few days around bed time and morning until she forgets about it.