[Mamma_mia]

I was waiting for a bus the other day in a bus interchange in Canberra. They are basically long thin strips of concrete with buses roaring up and down on both sides. Anyway, this gorgeous little girl (looked about 2) wandered past me on her own. I looked to see where her parent/s were, but she didn't appear to be with anyone. The closest adult was this young looking guy, but he was looking the other way. She kept walking and was starting to get quite far away from where I first saw her, wandering close to the road where the buses were. I noticed that some of the other people around were looking at her as well, and looking around for a parent with worried looks on their faces.

Just as I stood up, and was about to go over to her, I noticed that the young guy was playing peek-a-boo with her (at a distance) and she with him. Initially I think he was playing a game with her where he was pretending not to notice that she was walking away. With a big sigh of relief I thought, oh, ok that's her dad - he'll go and get her. But then he didn't! She kept walking further away, and he was just smiling and waving. Then she picked up more speed and started running. Eventually, when she was very far away, I heard him swear, and then he finally took off after her, just before she got to the end of the interchange and onto the main road. The whole thing made me quite anxious and I felt like I should have done something (when the father didn't react straight away). But then I thought maybe it wasn't my place and the father would tell me off.

When I told DH about it later, he basically said "not your child, not your problem, not your business". I said "what if she'd been hit by a bus?" and DH said "then it would be the father's fault, not yours". I thought that was a bit sad (his attitude). I'd like to think that someone would help my DS if he was in danger and I wasn't close by.

I should have prefaced this by saying I suffer from anxiety and some people consider me over-protective of my DS. I'm fairly comfortable, however, with how I parent him. But it's getting a bit ridiculous when you start to get anxious and stressed out by what you see other people's kids doing!

Anyway, just wondering what others would have done in this situation.

This post has been edited by Mamma_mia: 19/12/2012, 01:34 PM

[Jax12]

Unfortunately I think I would have ummed and ahhed over what to do, eventually doing nothing and then feeling awful about all the 'what ifs' afterwards. If the person watching her had called her and she was running away then I probably would have tried to gently stop her if she ran past, was nearby or I was closer to her than him, but only if it was clear he was trying to grab her. If he wasn't overly worried I probably wouldn't have interfered for fear of getting told off...that's an honest answer of what I *think* I would do, not what I would hope I would do. I hope I would keep a child safe if I saw a risk and I was in a position to help, regardless of not wanting to cop it from an irate parent.

[jtsmith83]

I don't think you were being a busy body at all, any one with common sense would be alarmed at the sight of a toddler moving around a bus station without someone holding her hand or walking next to her. It's happened to me at a public pool, while watching my two kids I still managed to stop a 1 year old possibly falling/jumping into the pool. This child was not supervised as I later found out the mother was at the kiosk, she said she only took her eyes off him for a moment. Now I am not blaming the mother, we all have moments where we can have a lapse of judgement, but that is why we need to look out for each other.

[rosiebird]

I would have headed her off before she got close to the road and bugger what anyone else thought. There needs to be 1 responsible adult in the child's life! But then I am the old harpie who tells kids off for sliding down the slide without waiting for the child at the bottom to move and other heinous acts like that.

[Mamma_mia]

Hi. Thanks for your replies.

I should add that I first saw her when she was close to me, and at that point she wasn't going too close to the road, and I thought her parent must be close by. When she got further away from me, she started going faster and close to the road and that's also when I realised the father was not going after her. There were other people closer to her then, who all looked like they were the same as me ie. worried but not sure what to do.

If the father was calling her or trying to catch her, I would have helped. But when I saw that he was not worried, I wasn't sure what to do (afraid of being told off!). Also I thought, oh well, he knows his child better than I do. He only just managed to catch her before she got to the main road though!

[Funwith3]

I think I would have jokingly said to him something like "haha she's getting pretty far away... will she come back!?" Or... "I'm not sure if she's playing your game anymore!" I wouldn't have told him what to do, more just hinted that he should go get her.

[Mamma_mia]

we all have moments where we can have a lapse of judgement, but that is why we need to look out for each other.

Yes! This! It takes a village and all that ... I think when it comes to a child's safety it's everyone's responsibility. (I'm talking about immediate life threatening danger, not whether or not the child is eating french fries or drinking coke from their bottle! LOL). That's why I was disappointed by DH's attitude.

This post has been edited by Mamma_mia: 19/12/2012, 01:50 PM

[Azadel]

DS slipped from my arms at the pool recently and ran towards the water. He was chasing the bigger kids and I knew he wouldn't go in, he'd decided it was too cold, but I was still extremely grateful to the woman who scooped him up as he ran past. I'd do the same.

[Eurp]

I think i would have stopped her, played a game of some sort and returned her to her father, if he gave me a mouthful i would have have just raise my eyebrows at him.
My DD is 2 and she likes to play games with me also, but there is NO way i would let her play those kinds of games in a bus depot or anywhere near a road.

[steppy]

This happens to me all the time. I can't stand it when parents let their kids do stupid things and sort of leave you with the responsibility. No matter how much it isn't my problem, if something happens I'm going to kick myself for not doing something.

It used to drive me crazy on public transport - some stupid idiot parent blabbing away on their phone and paying no attention while their toddler wandered close to open doors at stations, and me watching and hoping the child wouldn't get off without the parent. And standing on chairs near windows etc. I've always thought that if you think it's fine for your kids to do dangerous things in public, you should be the one standing closest to them - not some poor passerby who has to freak out on your behalf. Annoys me.