[chewchew]

Short back story - my 3 year old daughter has a limited diet. I'm satisfied that over the course of the day she gets something from every food group but she WILL NOT try any new food or even foods in different combinations to how she likes. This is the kid who when she first started solids would eat the most incredibly nutritious and adventurous combinations of foods until she was 15 months old. Since then food has been a constant battle.My 20 month old daughter eats anything, happily.

It's got me thinking about the way I was brought up and my family's approach to meal times.A. Dinner was served at 5.30pm and you ate it whether you liked it or not. No substitutionsB. My siblings and I now eat pretty much everythingC. At what age does it become a discipline 'thing'?
I'm interested in others experiences - how did your family do dinners? And how has it impacted how you do meal times in your own family?

[Lyra]

As children both my husband and myself were forced to eat everything on our plates. As a consequence my husband is overweight as he feels compelled to eat everything. I am skinny partly due to genetics and partly to do with the fact that I serve myself very little as I get anxious if I chuck food out. I was also forced to try new things and then eat the whole thing even if I didn't like it. As an example: I had never eaten rockmelon before and cut myself a sliver to taste, my dad took it from me stating 'that's not enough' cut me a massive chunk and then stood over me while I ate it. It was horrible, I hated it. As a result I am very reluctant to try new things. My MIL bought us quinoa and my husband was keen to try it out and I refused for a long time until he told me that I wouldn't have to eat the whole lot if I didn't like it. It wasn't until he said that that I realised what my issue with it was

As a parent I do have a 'this is what we are eating' rule and I am not making anything else. But, I do make sure that there is at least one thing on the plate that my child will eat. I also let her eat as much as she wants and she doesn't have to finish off everything in order to get dessert. Everything on the plate is subjected to a 'no thank you' bite even if you tried it before and didn't like it then. I refuse to make meals a battleground and my child will never ever sit in front of a cold plate of food for most of a day. Nor will she has dinner served up to her at breakfast time

[fancie]

We tend to eat reasonably late because DH is not usually home before 7.30-ish.

I don't do substitutions - the rule wih DD was she had to have a little of everything that was on her plate, whether she liked a food or not. She was and still is the least fussy eater of the kids I know who are around her age (now 13).

If when she was very young (before school age) and refused to eat anything, she was allowed a glass of water only. The few times this happened I had a very hungry girl at breakfast time.

Growing up, it was the same, although I can't remember ever refusing to eat my dinner. Dinner was always around 6-6.30pm

[HollyOllyOxenfre...]

I have limited experience so far as DS is only 13 months, but I think it comes from a mix of meal habits and personality. My parents were very much the sit at the table until you're finished type - I recall spending hours with two mouthfuls of cold vegies. I was a very fussy eater when I was young, but now eat a pretty wide range of foods and will try most things. My three sisters vary from very broad ranges of food, to very fussy.

DH was also brought up with an eat what you're given style, but not as strict as mine. He eats a similar range of foods to me now.

As far as how it's impacted things, I refuse to let mealtimes be a battleground for us. I avoided vegies for years because my only experience was cold, poorly cooked ones. I literally did not eat green vegies until about 5 years ago. DS goes through phases where he'll eat everything, and then switches to eating about five different things. I try not to let it be an issue because I figure he'll get there eventually.

As he gets older and understands a bit more, I'm sure we'll probably get a bit stricter. But personally I'd rather mealtimes are relaxed and set him up for a good relationship with food than worrying about him eating that last mouthful

[Jenflea]

we had to taste everything but nothing was forced on us. Which is how I'm TRYING to bring up my 2yr old. But some things she won't even try(such as salmon).
Mum was brought up in a MUCH different way of being forced to eat everything on her plate, till she vomited sometimes.
That's why she brought us up to try it but not forced us. I don't believe in making kids eat everything, I don't like some foods so why should a child eat everything they are given.
I do offer yoghurt or something after dinner as well, to keep her going at night. She doesn't' eat as much at dinner time.

[snuffles]

We had to eat everything if we wanted dessert. IMO this is a recipe for overeating. It's teaching child not to respond to their body's 'stop' signal because they really want dessert (well, usually).

Our rule is, I cook dinner, I rotate around what we have so that everyone gets a meal they like a couple of times a week. The kids can eat as much or as little as they like. We don't do dessert, except on special occasions and then they do not have to finish their dinner in order to have that piece of birthday cake/slice of Chrissy pud. IF they finish all their dinner and are still hungry, they can have seconds, or help themselves to fruit.

[pumpkin89]

I never make my kids eat everything on their plate, but I don't offer anything else either. I figure if they're hungry enough they'll eat it, and going without dinner every now and then won't harm them (they eat well with plenty of healthy snacks / breakfast / lunch throughout the day anyway). Any scraps go to DH or the dog, so I'm not too irritated about the waste. My DH and I chose to take this approach because of my issues with food. My mum used to panic if we didn't eat because we didn't like it, and used to offer lots of junky alternatives. As a result I can clearly list the foods my brother would eat as a child : coco pops, chicken, green grapes, green apples and egg white (but not the yolk). We both eat well now, but I struggle sometimes to keep a healthy diet (having things like chocolate, bicsuits, softdriink etc as a regular part of my diet as a kid kind of has taught me to expect it, and I find it hard sometimes to stick to healthier options)

[Diana_Barry]

I think my DP & I are going to clash with our attitudes to this. We never had battles over food when I was growing up. My mum said that she was such a picky eater herself, that it would have been really hypocritical of her to force us to eat things we didn't like. My dad employed a reverse psychology technique which was that any unusual foods were "daddy's" and we weren't allowed to have any... which had us leaning all over him asking if we could just have a 'bite' of his whole fish with bones, veggies out of the garden etc. If we didn't like what was being served there was always fruit/toast etc, but we were never that picky.

My DP grew up where you had to eat what you were served, with battles involving kids stuck at tables for hours, and no alternatives. He thinks this was the right approach...

So it will be interesting how we end up managing our DS who is going through a very picky toddler stage. I would prefer that it doesn't become a drama.

[IVL]

I grew up with the rule you don't have to like it, you just have to try it. My DH grew up in a similar setting and we are doing the same with our kids. Our journey had been pretty trying at times as our eldest has some ANA allergies as well as other non-life threatening allergies to a long list of foods, but I do think she eats a more varied diet than many of her peers. Our youngest thankfully has no allergies and will eat everything with the exception of chocolate and tomatoe sauce so I would like to think our (or our parents approach) has worked well. None of us are overweight, perhaps me and eldest DD are a little underweight but that has more to do with medical issues than eating patterns.

[ChunkyChook]

As a child we had lots of different stuff because mum is a coeliac and has been for 30 years. Back then it was fresh fruit, salad, meat, rice cakes and rice. So we would have spag bol meat on rice instead of pasta etc. Never forced to eat everything on out our plate.

I am really relaxed about meal times. There is only DD and myself and I happily make us 2 meals each night if she doesn't like what I am having. Or I will cook her steak and red meat sometimes too.

She is pretty good though and loves alot of different stuff that most children at her age wont touch. Semi dried tomatoes, danish feta, salami etc etc.

If people are large because they were forced to eat everything on their plates then they were being fed crap and being served way too much! Very touchy subject in my Australian/American family where ALL my American residing siblings are obese/morbidly obese.

ETA: I just hide stuff she wont eat. She will eat peas and corn but not peas, corn and carrot. Little does she know, her mashed potato and pumpkin is actually potato, pumpkin, cauliflower, carrot and sweet potato.



This post has been edited by ChunkyChook: 19/12/2012, 08:30 AM