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> Do you have hang-ups from school?

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Bart.
post 18/12/2012, 08:37 PM
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I do. It's ridiculous, but I've been carting these hang-ups around with me for 20 years.

From Year 4 - 8, I was the poor kid in a big private school. I had some friends but mostly I was teased and treated like an outsider. I was totally in awe of those kids; they seemed so beautiful, confident and illustrious with their fancy parents and new uniforms. I left in Year 9 to move interstate and it was a great confidence booster for me to be out of that school.

For years, every time I've gone to that town (my parents live there), I've dreaded running into those people because crazily, I just didn't feel I've achieved enough to be equals. Yeah, how sad is that.

Well, on the weekend, I finally did. I caught up with one of the girls in my class who was one of the cool kids and she's still in touch with most of the people who'd made those few years so challenging. She gave me quick updates on everyone and I was surprised and gratified to know they're ordinary, just like me. I shouldn't have been comparing my life to their's after all. I feel like I've got some closure.

I didn't realise just how much of that time I still carry around with me and I was wondering if anyone else is in the same position? (My husband went to the same school and I definitely know he's still carrying major hang-ups from his time there so maybe it was the culture?)
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i-candi
post 18/12/2012, 08:51 PM
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Yeah I was the poor kid (well dad made out he was poor so he didn't have to pay the fees I suspect) in the private school with a uniform that really needed replacing more often that it was. Also dad, due to court orders was meant to pay for schooling and associated costs. So often we had to beg him for bus fares (WA no such thing as free travel), money for books etc. It was horrible begging for money sad.gif

My son will always look respectable in new uniforms and will never have to beg for something for school.

I know a lot of people can only afford second hand uniforms but we can afford new, just like my dad could but he didn't care.

I HATED school !
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Zephie Chugger
post 18/12/2012, 08:51 PM
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I have so many hung ups from my schooling I'm scared to send my boys even to pre school.



Edit: Most have to do with my learning difficulty, back then there was not the understanding even by teachers .I was humiliated everyday for not being able to read/spell etc in primary In high I was bullied beaten or ignorded so made worthless


This post has been edited by Zephie Chugger: 18/12/2012, 11:29 PM
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Kay1
post 18/12/2012, 08:56 PM
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Mum to two boys!! :O
Well I won't be going to my school reunion (a significant one!) next year so I guess so. Not sure I really hang on to any issues really but just have no desire to relive any of it.
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wildflowers
post 18/12/2012, 09:01 PM
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I remember comments from teachers, in year 7 the teacher said I shouldn't have got my high mark for a project. In high school I remember a teacher saying I was slow to start a project and another teacher said I used to sneer and shouldn't have got a high score for a speech. Now I just look back and their comments have had no bad effects on me. It is just life.
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It'sallgood
post 18/12/2012, 09:04 PM
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I hated school and yep, another one of those "poor kids" at a rich school senario's. Not that others were bad to me really, but I just always felt a misfit and the school and I, really didn't match at all.

I remain quite angry about all the opportunities lost to me becuase of that stupid private "exculsive" school...truth be told? I woudl have been more suited to the local public which probably would have nurtured what I was actually good at and capable of, instead of trying to fit the square peg into the round hole sad.gif

Probably why I am SO against private schools these days, or at least, I'm very suss...I think a lot of parents pay a fortune for private schooling becuase THEY think it's best, simply becuase it's expensive and private...yet, it's not what is best for the child at all.

Hb and I are determined that our girls will go to teh most suitable school for them and which will nurture and capture their abilities and talents and most importantly, be a happy place for them. If that's private, we'll pay it, but we won't automatically assume tha tprivate is better...becuase I KNOW it's not.

Tamm
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tres-chic
post 18/12/2012, 09:04 PM
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"Hell is other people," Jean-Paul Sartre
Yes, I do. Different issues to yours but it was the hardest time of my life and it can be a defining period in many people's lives.

I'm glad you got that perspective.

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duckduckduck
post 18/12/2012, 09:06 PM
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I am now obsessive about punctuality because my mother always dropped me at school late. At primary school we had general assembly every morning and anyone who was late was ritually humiliated by being forced to stand out the front next to the principal for the entire assembly. Probably doesn't seem like a big deal but it was pretty much akin to torture for a painfully shy kid like myself.
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Oma Desala
post 18/12/2012, 09:10 PM
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Building calm everyday...
QUOTE (Kay1 @ 18/12/2012, 08:56 PM) *
Well I won't be going to my school reunion (a significant one!) next year so I guess so. Not sure I really hang on to any issues really but just have no desire to relive any of it.

I was very glad when my 10 year mark passed without a reunion being planned. I was dreading the thought of even being invited let alone going.

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kidwrangler
post 18/12/2012, 09:12 PM
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Strangely enough, no. I also was the poor kid (but not in a private school), I had a single mum in a very conservative area, I wore glasses, am short and have freckles... I was ripe for being tormented but don't remember anything that has left scars. I was sad and lonely for my final year of primary as we were new to the area and my brother went to high school, but I am still in touch with friends I made back then.

I love going back and catching up with people from school. Our reunions are a hoot! original.gif

I have wondered about some people on EB as I read about their fears of sending their kids to school, wanting to home school/ move schools to protect them etc. Vents that seem a bit OTT to the issues in them (I am sure many are valid but some seem rather OTT) regarding schooling and other kids. I can see how the past could impact on their reactions to problems for their kids.
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