[JBaby]

Hi, DD has just turned 20 months and for the nearly two months has been CONSTANTLY testing the boundaries and driving DH and I slowly insane. We're really not sure what the best way to deal with her is and looking for some suggestions...?

Essentially whats happening is there are things she knows she is not allowed to do (eg climb on the coffee table, stand on chairs, put things in her mouth) that she continuously tries to do.

So far our strategy has been:
First we tell her "Name, we dont do x. Y could happen" and then tell her what we want her to do eg "sit on your bottom". She will sit down, then smile and stand up again while looking us straight in the eye. We say it to her again this time more firmly with a "no". Again she will sit back down for a moment but then laugh and stand up again. Its all a game to her to see what we do.

That's when we remove her from the situation and try to distract her with something else. Sometimes she throws a tantrum which we ignore, sometimes the distraction works. But within half an hour she is doing that thing again and it all starts again!

I thought it was a just phase, but we have been consistent and its still going after 2 months - I'm wondering if we need something more, I don't know a time out maybe?

What will a 20m old respond to? How do other people deal with this? Please tell me I'm not the only one with such a stubborn defiant toddler!

TIA

This post has been edited by JBaby: 17/12/2012, 12:35 AM

[SeaPrincess]

I would probably try time-outs. When my eldest started kindy, they used a modified 1, 2, 3 Magic that I found worked particularly well with my younger 2 as well. Basically it goes
"That's 1, you need to get off the coffee table"
"That's 2. What do you need to do?" Child responds by saying and/or doing what has been requested.
"That's 3." Time out time.

I liked this because it gives you an opportunity if the consequence isn't a timeout to say you need to do whatever or this is going to happen (eg we're going home). I still find it more effective than just counting.

This post has been edited by SeaPrincess: 17/12/2012, 12:34 AM