[snortle]

I have been thinking about this a lot lately and I would love some opinions

My dear dear sister and I are extremely close. I am a Christian and she is an atheist.
I think she actually HATES that I believe in God.
She will often criticise me about my beliefs if I mention anything remotely religious (rarely) and has said to me many times that she can't understand how an intelligent woman like myself can believe in a magical man in the sky and other things along those lines.

I have never ever preached to her, I am tolerant and respectful of anyone's choice of religion as I didn't find my faith until I did some soul searching at 18. So I can hardly judge others if I didn't believe once IYKWIM

I love my sister dearly and in every other aspect of life she is the most supportive and non-judgemental person I know but my strong faith is like a stick in her craw and she can't bear it!

I guess I have a few questions someone can hopefully answer...
1) What do you do if you are in this situation? What should I do?
2) as a Christian am I obliged to be doing something about her feelings towards God? Her best friend committed suicide many years ago and she lost all her faith then and is still very bitter about the idea that there is a god out there that would allow such things. I have tried to talk to her about this but it's difficult to do without her feeling that i am being insensitive about her late friend.
I would love for her to find faith but I don't feel I have any right to put my ideas onto anyone else yet she feels it's ok to try and make me see "sense" and realise I am wrong??

Any comments are appreciated xxxx

This post has been edited by snortle: 06/05/2013, 11:08 AM

[schoolmum]

The best thing you can do is just be her sister, support, love and pray for her. She is obviously very confused and hurt at the moment, and in need of someone to blame, and at this point of time it is God.

Your sister knows what you beliefs are, and no amount of talking is going to get her to change her mind. All you can do is to continue to love her as Christ does, and live your life as a true Christian example.

When she does challenge your beliefs, often the best thing you can do is let her vent, and try to agree to disagree.

Only time can heal the hurts that have led her to turn away from her faith, and at the moment you are a constant, and an easy target. You are someone that she can trust, and can vent to. So hang in there and remain strong in your beliefs, and be strong for her too, and continue to pray for her and your relationship.

[HurryUpAlready]

OP, if anyone tried to preach to me about God / religion, especially my sister, I cannot tell you how fast I would close the door / hang up the phone / find an excuse to leave.

I vaguely believe, but only kinda sorta. But the second someone tries to shove their opinion down my throat I will resent it immediately.

Just be her sister. You're more likely to retain a relationship with her if she's anything like me.

[mini mac]

The best thing you can do is just be her sister, support,

Your sister knows what you beliefs are, and no amount of talking is going to get her to change her mind.

This. Don't push your religious beliefs on her and respect your differences, she wont change unless she wants to.

Be there as a sister, friend and confidante minus the religious verse.

OP, if anyone tried to preach to me about God / religion, especially my sister, I cannot tell you how fast I would close the door / hang up the phone / find an excuse to leave.

I vaguely believe, but only kinda sorta. But the second someone tries to shove their opinion down my throat I will resent it immediately.

Just be her sister. You're more likely to retain a relationship with her if she's anything like me.

Exactly

[fancie]

She will often criticise me about my beliefs if I mention anything remotely religious (rarely)

1) What do you do if you are in this situation? What should I do?

do not mention anything remotely religious if you know how she will respond. I think that you mentioning these things is as challenging to her lack of beliefs as her responses are to you about your beliefs.

2) as a Christian am I obliged to be doing something about her feelings towards God?

I think if you want to continue any sort of relationship with your sister, you shouldn't go anywhere near this line of thinking. Her lack of faith is every bit as valid as your faith and to be honest with you OP, to try to influence her around to your way is patronising and arrogant.

I would love for her to find faith but I don't feel I have any right to put my ideas onto anyone else yet she feels it's ok to try and make me see "sense" and realise I am wrong??

No you do not have the right to put your ideas onto anyone else. I think your sister sees you introducing anything religious in conversation with her as you attempting to put your ideas onto her and that's why she responds as she does.

[bye]

I agree with the PPs - leave it.

I am the non-believer. My non-belief is as strong as anyone's belief. The more someone says to me, "But how can you not see that there is a God?" the more I feel, "How can you not see there isn't?" So as much as you believe and feel some distress that your beloved sister doesn't, she may well be feeling the same distress that you are being, as I would see it, "sucked in."

I don't say the above to offend any believers - I've often *wished* I did believe - I am quite jealous of those who say their faith has brought them comfort in hard times. And I could (and did) pretend to believe, but it would be a lie.

You may well find she doesn't mind a good religious debate, but if it's going to offend either one of you, avoid that. I personally don't mind people mentioning their religious beliefs (heck, some people barrack for Geelong and that's just as silly to me) as long as they don't look down on me for my beliefs.

[Jemstar]

Yes, leave it. And for goodness sake, if you want to keep your sister in your life don't start trying to 'do something about' her lack of faith. If my sister tried to do something about my 'lack of faith' she would not receive a very pleasant reaction.

I agree with Lyn630 (well except for that wildly ridiculous belief that people shouldn't support Geelong! ) my non-belief if probably just as strong as your belief, your sister is probably the same. The only difference is I don't feel one iota jealous that I don't believe in God.

This post has been edited by Jemstar: 16/12/2012, 08:31 AM

[Bek+3]

2) as a Christian am I obliged to be doing something about her feelings towards God?

I don't know if you are obliged but please don't. You obviously need this 'belief' to fill a void and bring you peace and calm. That's fine. Whatever floats your boat and gets you through the day. Others don't. The more you try and push your views, like PP said, the more you will push people away.

If my sister pushed her God agenda onto me I'd shut the door too. (And I'd keep her well away from my kids. )

This post has been edited by Bek+3: 16/12/2012, 11:17 AM

[StupidUsername]

The best thing you can do is just be her sister, support, love and pray for her. She is obviously very confused and hurt at the moment, and in need of someone to blame, and at this point of time it is God.

What the heck! How do you know she is very confused and hurt? What will praying for her do? Help her see the error in her ways in not believing in God Almighty? Help her see the light? Gimme a break. There's nothing worse than someone trying to force their views on someone else! How about the sisters agree to disagree in regards to their respective religious/non-religious beliefs and move on. They both need to be respectful of each others beliefs - end of story.

[♥~Bodhichitta~♥]

I would also agree to just leave it.

I have a similar situation with my family. I'm a Buddhist (became Buddhist about 5 years ago), and my family are Atheist. They have very strong feelings against what I believe in - my parents are of the opinion that Buddhism is a cult. Mum said at first that "it was a phase, I would snap out of".

Now we just agree not to discuss it.

I live my life according to my principles and beliefs, and I'm happy with that