[Lightning_bug]

Posting here for more trafic:

DS has diagnosed ADHD/ODD and he wants me. All day every day. All night. He wants me to quit work and be home all day, even though he's at school. He wants me here.

He won't eat anything unless I serve it.
Won't let anyone else bath him.
Won't let anyone else put him to bed.

When he's staying with his grandparents or anywhere away from me then he's fine. But if I'm in the house he flat out refuses help or suggestions from anyone else. Nothing his dad does is ever good enough and it's resulted in food being thrown across a room; kicking and swearing and carrying on.

It seems he doesn't care what attention he gets from me, good or bad, as long as he has it 100%. And should I not give him that attention he is right down abusive.

I do love him dearly but I'm really worried at this point about his social development and if this is something which I should seriously be having looked into or a 'normal' stage of development.

[madmother]

This is not a natural reaction - it is an obsession.

My oldest was similar - so much so that his father was accused of all sorts of things as this child would meltdown if I dared to attempt to look in a shop or move in any direction away from him.

If he has a diagnosis, do you have a good psychologist?

[baddmammajamma]

LB:

I second what madmother says. Are you working regularly with a good psychologist? Ideally, you could find one who could also help you & your husband set up a "home program" (that is, helping give you the tools to manage some of his most challenging behaviors in the home).

Admittedly, you are facing a pretty significant diagnosis -- and I certainly can't say that I know what it's like to parent a child with ODD. But we are dealing with ASD & ADHD, and we would be *lost* without the good counsel and professional guidance of a fabulous psych.

Good luck. I feel for you.

[amabanana]

That sounds really tough and not something you should have to deal with alone. DD has ADD but not ODD and even that is tough at times. I have found seeing the pysch has not only benefited DD but has helped me immensely. If you're not doing it already then I agree with PPs.
Best of luck.

[Lightning_bug]

We saw a psych a while ago, before his diagnosis but she wasn't much help. I have been given a few references from an awesome, awesome, awesome place called Lapstone Preschool which has been providing us with support and will definitely follow it up.

I was hoping it was a common behavioral thing but it looks like it's not.

Just one more hurdle but I'm sure we'll get there eventually.

[amabanana]

A good pysch is worth their weight in gold. BMJ has a list, I think, if you need a recommendation, Lightening Bug. Our psych specialises in children with ADHD, ASD, learning disorders/giftedness etc and I believe you need to find someone like that if possible. She was really able to understand what we were going through and come up with concrete ways to help us. She works well with DD's school and OT and I feel so lucky to have found her.
Hope things improve for you all soon.

This post has been edited by amabanana: 15/12/2012, 01:47 PM

[baddmammajamma]

LB:

Where are you guys? Western Sydney/Blue Mountains? My suggestion would be to find someone local so that you can access them pretty regularly (until your son is on more solid ground). Definitely follow up on the references that the preschool has given you.

We've worked with some EXCEPTIONAL psychologists & one who was a bit of a dud. It so important that you find one who not only understands the issues but also can connect in a meaningful way with your family. If you aren't getting a good vibe, find someone else (and yes, I know that this is easier said than done!!!)

Good luck!