[snuffles]

I would certainly define myself as socially awkward. I have no close friends outside of my family. Not a one. A few acquaintances and 'catch up for coffee' type friends, but no 'bare your soul' type friends.

I guess a lot of it stems from some bad friend experiences, where I made a huge effort to be there, support said friends through difficult times etc, and then when I fell on emotionally difficult times myself.... *crickets*. I have also been bullied in the past (high school) - here not only did my friends do nothing to support me, some of them actually turned bully themselves.

We also move a lot, my DH is in the RAAF and we move about once every three years ish. I think because of this I'm very protective of my space, whatever house we are in, I do not like having visitors over generally, it makes me feel invaded (even if I invited them). I try not to show it but it probably does come across subconsciously.

I often wonder what it would be like to have a close 'girly' friendship. The friends I have made locally here have mostly known each other for years and often get together without me (which is fine), but get togethers to which I am invited have been slowly declining for the past year or so to the point now that I haven't been invited to anything for more than 6 months, despite my getting in touch and asking them when they were free for a get together, they said they'd let me know. *crickets* I have made a few new friends of late which is nice, here we start the whole getting to know you process again... I wonder what it would be like to just bare your soul to someone who really knows you (other than DH)...

Not sure what I'm asking here actually, except, can you relate??

[wca]

I'm the same. I really am. I'm likeable I think and get on with people but it's all a show. My husband jokingly calls me "socially akward Anni". I get very stressed when we have people over, I struggle with small talk, I hide alot of myself. I have girly friendships but I often wonder how deep they are. I just feel a bit...uncomfortable around people.

[raone]

Absolutely relate. I used to be fine with friends when I was younger but it just seems to have slowly gone away. I too have moved recently and now am trying my hardest to make friends in my mothers group.

I keep getting all those thoughts of why did you say that? You are stupid! No one likes you. My confidence is completely shot and it only makes me withdraw more so I guess that is why am pushing myself more. Being a new SAHM doesn't allow for my old fall back of making friends at work or at least getting to have an adult conversation everyday with someone other than my DH. Just have to keep trying I suppose but it is good to know I am not alone

[BadCat]

I can relate.

I find social scripts awkward. I know when someone asks how I am I'm supposed to respond with fine thanks but I find it contrived and unnatural. So I often drop the ball in conversations.

I also have no desire to bare my soul to anyone so friends probably feel I am keeping them at arm's length. This might be true. I don't know. What I do know is that it doesn't really bother me very much. I think I'm just a bit of a loner.

[busymumof1&1/2]

I am similar. I have worked in the same place for 12.5 years, but still only feel comfortable with a few, although I know alot, and have had 5 different positions. I do know the politics though, so am able to dodge that bullet.
My issue is with complacency. My manager just expects me to be there, with all the answers. Thing id, I have the answers, no-one else will even think of volunterning

[kadoodle]

Yep. I struggle to let people get close and never know the right thing to say. I suck at small talk, can't get my head around gossip and struggle with eye contact.

[Tooties]

How funny, I thought I was the only one!

I don't really mind, I'm happy hanging out with my family.

[emmafg]

Me too to all of it, though I have struggled from Primary school.

I have been diagnosed with mild social phobia and am seeing a psychologist to help me overcome this (among other issues I have....sigh). It is hard because I think most people look at me and see a confident, "with it" person who is fine at the small talk etv when really I am a dribbling mess on the inside.

Most of the time I am ok with it, but sometimes I yearn for someone to be able to freely talk to, besides by husband. Unfortunately for me DH has moderate-severe social phobia so he is of no help!

Funnily I am great in a work environment though.

[lsolaBella]

Puts hand up.

I moved interstate to be with DH. So I have no long standing friends. Even when one of my old highschool friends moved to the same city I am in, we only get together once every 4-6m. I am busy with my family. She is busy with her Medical career (working ED so crazy shift hours plus studying).

I don't like to feel that I am imposing on people (I like quiet time myself) so feel like I am imposing if I ask people to coffee etc.

I also dislike having people in my personal space (ie my house). It creates major anxiety for me.

I have a few 'quick chat at the school gates' friends with DS1 starting school, but that has been put on hold this year as DS2 4yo Kinder conflicts with school pickup/dropoff so I am constantly running around.

So yes my DH is the only one I have major D&Ms with. When he is interstate/overseas for work I just hate it (he is currently away in Mongolia). I miss having some to complain to.

As I said I moved interstate to be with DH, so my family is all a state away.

Why do you think I spend so much time on EB?

[BearBait]

I don't think you are odd or should feel like an outsider just bc you are not interested in the BS which passes for a lot of social interaction. I know lots of people, I only have about 3 real friends who have got my back (outside of family).