[overweightanon]

My husband who is very lovely, caring and devoted husband and father last night told me the awful truth.
He said he was concerned for my health and well being as I was now very overweight he is right, I'm 108kg and a size 22 (omg that hurts to write that) and have put on 25kg since we met. We have 3 young children and run a business from home. He said he has noticed that while I don't eat the best, I seem to eat a lot and spend a lot of my time on the couch and computer (again also correct) and that I seem to of lost my spark. I pretty much polished of a cake on my own the other day
I realise it took a lot for him to say it and it wasn't said in a way to be hurtful or in an argument.
I think I've tried everything over the years to get rid of the weight, I really struggled after the births of each of my children and used food as a comfort, we have a 9 month old, 2yr old and 5yr old. I lack the ability to follow through and makes any changes for longer than a week, even just simple small 'swap it' changes. I'm so worried I am going to be one of those women who needs a crane to remove her from her house or something
I know what to do to lose weight, like I said I lose focus easily. I'm a smart woman and know how it all works, but I'm just not motivated to do it.
I'm now wondering if I'm motivated enough to do it for my family...and even then the lure of food is too tempting. I feel like a sh*t mum because I have no energy, and not fit enough to play with the kids. I feel awful so never want to have sex with my husband.
I think I've been in denial for a long time about how big I am, but my body is being punished I can tell in every area, and the other day I could barely fit comfortably in a seat at a cafe. We recently flew to Melbourne for a family trip and I was so uncomfy in the seat as my thighs were digging into the arm rest.

I really don't know what to do, I'm not looking for ideas at the moment, like I said I know what I need to do, but I'm so devastated my husband has told me this and it must be bad enough for him to think he needed an intervention.

[ubermum]

Perhaps you need to see a counsellor and work out why you are so unhappy that you need food to comfort you.

[Funwith3]

I think your husband is to be commended for telling you the truth, like you said, it would have been so hard for him to say because he knew it would hurt you. But by not telling you, he would be setting you up for severe health problems in the future.

He has a duty of care to you.

Why don't you see a dietician to start off with or join a club (Jenny Craig etc). It's very true what they say (almost too good to be true) - exercise and healthy eating REALLY DOES WORK! Not just mostly healthy eating. ALL healthy eating. It works. You have to start somewhere. I think the hardest part would be just getting started.

Good luck, and good on you for knowing you have to do something.

[countrymel]

Same thing happened to me last night.

I had given DP the letter I had written to my Auntie to read and it had mention in it to how I had got "Very Fat" this year.

He read that out and said "Yep! You are going to lose some weight next year aren't you baby?"

Our problem is that I am a really great cook, and lazy, I put more in than I burn off.

I don't know how it got to this... I am the fattest I have ever, ever been - and I am not 'jolly' about it at all.

[erindiv]

I'm sorry That can't have been an easy thing to hear from someone you love so much.

I lack motivation too. I have a terrible, terrible diet. I can't even remember the last time I ate a vegetable. I make vows that I will change, but I never do. I KNOW what I NEED to do, but I just can't stick with it... which sounds like your trouble too, and a problem that is very difficult to overcome.

I hope you find your solution soon. There are some wonderful support groups here.

[flushthetoilet]

That must've been hard to hear OP. I hope this is the beginning of something more positive for you. On the up-side, you sound like you have a genuine and caring partner there.

[~RM~]

You know there are so many things you can do with this, all of them positive, all of them will feel like a weight off your shoulders, all of them will inspire you.

You dont need to tackle this hurdle on your own, and you dont need to tackle it all at once.

Have a think about what option appeals to you most, a dietician? A weight loss group (weight watchers etc)? A counsellor? A personal trainer? An online system (biggest loser club/michelle bridges etc)?

You will probably find the motivation will come slowly, but more so once you find something that you feel comfortable with, and something you feel good about doing.

The only way is up!!!!! You can change your life, small steps, one by one.

Good luck

This post has been edited by ~RM~: 11/12/2012, 10:56 AM

[MadamDivine]

I find joining a program where you check in/weigh in makes me more accountable plus the added support of people who are going through the same as I am is a bonus.

I lost 9 kg in 9 weeks doing the Michelle Bridges program and I found it awesome. But in saying that you do have to be 110% committed.

Also with any weight loss program, expect to fall off the rails. The trick is getting back on them.

i hope you can find a way to help you help yourself, best of luck xox

[*Finn*]

Op I could have written this same post word for word. I have actually attempted to write this a few times over the last few weeks but deleted it. My husband has made a few comments over the years which have hurt me greatly but I know he is speaking the truth. I am 91kg now so have put on 20-25kg over the last 7 years.

Definitely the bulk of that has been in the last 3 years since having kids. We run a small business out of the home that is extremely stressful and tiresome. That along with 2 kids 14 months apart who have been sick with tonsil/ear problems since birth and terrible sleeping patterns I have muddleld my way through the fog and just tried to do the best I can.

I know I haven't made the right choices. And I am terrible at sticking with things. I also have a real issue with getting organized with food for the week. As my husband is at work 6 days a week I usually rush through the shopping and miss half of the food I need. I spend a huge amount of time creating healthy Lunchs for my children but can't seem to stick with a plan for myself.

I don't feel good about myself, I know exactly what I need to do to lose weight but yet I have no motivation to stick with it???
For the last few weeks I have had thoughts like why bother.......I'm only going to fail again.
I have to make some changes. I have a really great friend who msg's all the time to see how I am going so I need to utilize her more. I don't have any spare time for the gym but I could be out walking with the kids more often.

Sorry for the ramble but I wanted you to know you're not the only one who feels like you do. I imagine it would feel pretty damn amazing to lose 10-20kg so I'm trying to keep that positive thought in my head.

This post has been edited by *Finn*: 11/12/2012, 10:56 AM

[lozoodle]

I think the first step is addressing the emotional issues behind the unhealthy eating habits. You can make all the changes in the world, but nothing will stick until you deal with the reasons behind it.

I agree with a PP suggesting a counsellor might be a good first step?

I hope things improve for you OP. It must have been very tough to hear (and difficult for him to say also)

In terms of weight loss programs, I found weight watchers wonderful. I'm actually a life time member now (though on a break due to pregnancy) but it really helped me address the reasons behind my bad eating / lifestyle habits and broke the cycle a bit. Plus the support and friends I have made there are wonderful.

This post has been edited by lozoodle: 11/12/2012, 11:00 AM