[mylife]

Briefly, (I hope I'm in the right forum) my X and I have a poor co-parenting relationship due to a number of issues. He is due to start having the kids week-about for the school holidays, commencing this Friday. His DP would normally collect the kids from school and have them until the following Friday, and so on... X has recently moved house and he won't tell me where. He is childish and has pulled some silly stuff over recent months (like refusing to return the kids to me even when lawyers became involved! I eventually got them back the next day but not nice stuff...)

Would you be ok sending your kids to him for a week, without knowing where they were exactly? The kids haven't been to his new house yet, but they think it's somewhere local.

Too expensive to get my lawyer involved again and I've tried calling and smsing but he won't respond. To send the kids (who want to go) or not?????

TIA

[pumpkinpie04]

No I wouldn't be OK sending them and not knowing where they were - even without the history.

[tamjk]

Nope, wouldn't be sending them.
I have to have the address and phone number involved before I let ANYONE take my kids. Mainly because I know for a fact that when I was a child my father planned to do a runner with us on one of his access visits.

[*lightning]

I would think that both parents must know where their children are staying. If my DH and I were separated and he refused to give me important information regarding our children, I would not send them.

[Sunnycat]

No I wouldn't be happy sensing my kids to him if I didn't know where he lived and he has not given the children back in the past.

[mylife]

Thanks Ibea. Yes, Court Orders are in place and recent amendments state the kids alternate homes from 4pm Friday to 4pm Friday.... He thinks because he will be the one to return them to my house after the 1 week with him, then I don't need to know where he lives, yet.... Can you elaborate on the "residence orders" please? I'm about to start self-representing with family law matters (yikes!) and need all the help I can get...

Such a contradiction - he's going for Dad of the Year with the kids but refuses to communicate with me over something so basic! I loathe this pettiness!

[Aquarium]

Do the court orders state that you have to supply each other with addresses? If not then you have to follow them or amend them.

In the mean time I would stick to the arrangements, firstly because it provides stability for your children and secondly because it won't look good for you if you're back in court for withholding access.

Whilst I agree the pettiness is frustrating, If you did have the address what practical difference would it make to you? I understand emotionally its nice to know where your kids are sleeping at night. But harsh reality of split arrangements are such that you rarely ever know the reality of the other side.

It may help to remember that just as you are not accountable to your ex, nor is he accountable to you in regard to your children.

[ubermum]

Have your kids got an ipod touch? Install find my ipod and GPS them

[peach*face]

It may help to remember that just as you are not accountable to your ex, nor is he accountable to you in regard to your children.

Not telling the address of where the children are staying is unnecessarily nasty to the other parent. Providing an address and contact details is not about displaying a sense of accountability to the ex as a person, but it is about respect for her as their mother.

I have been in this situation OP and I refused to send them. He hasn't bothered calling or trying to see them in two years now. Best thing that ever happened.

I would think there are deeper reasons for this pettiness. Does he really want to be a parent to them?

This post has been edited by peach*face: 11/12/2012, 11:01 AM

[casime]

Do you have a friend that he doesn't know the car of who could play spy for you and follow him home to get the address?