[Blairizz]

To make the telling of this a little less confusing, I will initial my siblings so you can keep track of who I'm referring to:
A (sister, 21)
R (brother, 20)
W (sister, 10)
P (brother, 8)

W & P each had their birthday late last month. R bought W a nice pair of earrings. I've just received a phone call from A stating that R is 'furious' as P went into W's room, grabbed her earrings and put them down the bathroom sink.

Obviously, completely unacceptable. I can't even begin to understand why he would think it ok to do that. But I can't help but feel like he is trying to get some attention/reach out.

As a bit of background, our mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in Feb. & finished treatment in September. She is completely fine, but over those few months she's had several different people help her out with the kids, including me. Since completing her treatment, she has felt like it's her time to focus on her. So she is currently working 6 hours away, & W & P are being taken care of by our Nan. They do see their Dad, but he is not what I would call the world's greatest father. Mum drove the 6 hours back to pick up a family friend who was at her house looking after W & P, but only stayed for an hour despite not having seen the kids for two weeks. P also ran away from his Aunty's house on Saturday, & turned up at A's house crying.

So I guess my question is, how would you discipline him? What is the right thing to do in this situation?

[snuffles]

I have a nearly 8 yo and if he did that, I'd make him give his pocket money to me, and do extra jobs around the house, to 'earn' replacement earrings.

[WithSprinkles]

It does sound like he is trying to get some attention/reach out. It must be very hard on him not having his mother around (and to have multiple people looking after him..not a stable carer).

As for how I would discipline him? Does he have any pocket money or birthday money? Perhaps he could use that to replace the earrings (though I guess it depends on how much they were.. I'm guessing not overly expensive if they were for a 10 year old)

Someone might have to have a chat to your mum..it's a difficult situation as I can understand why she would feel the need to focus on herself right now, at the end of the day those two kids are her responsibility.

[elmo_mum]

maybe hes just being an 8 year old boy and being a t*at!

[Mumof32b!]

I think because he is 8 and his mum isn't with him and he is being looked after by a number of people with no real structure.

Whilst he obviously did the wrong thing I would be loathe to punish him too much, poor thing he mustn't really know what is going on. Hopefully your Mum will be back soon and he can return to some kind of normality.

[Ladyinnogen]

Tell your mum to get her butt home and look after her kids. He's feeling deserted and is acting out for attention. He's already been deserted by his father now his mother is doing the same thing. Kids need stability. I remember how lost I felt went my father died when I was young, I can't imagine how bad it would have been if he'd chosen to leave. Your mum will have time for herself when the kids are older and if god forbid she passes before then does she really want her children's memories of her to be tainted by feelings of desertion.

Sorry to sound so harsh but I've had a bit of experience with this. It can have a huge impact.

[boatiebabe]

I think the right thing to do is for your mother to come back and look after her children.

I can imagine the little ones have been very affected by your mum's cancer treatment etc and he is acting out.

I would worry less about discipline and worry more about the family dynamic at the moment.

If you were not there when it happened you really don't know the full story of what happened in the lead up to the ear ring flushing either.

Sounds like a bad situation.

[Awesome101]

Maybe just ask him? Perhaps P did something to pi$$ him off and this is how he got revenge? Their just kids afterall. Sounds like something my brother would have done just to annoy me.

[~*Twilight~Zone*...]

Probably stupid question but has anyone checked the little catchment thing (haha sorry can't thing of the proper name) to see if they have been caught up in there?

[Mrs Optimus]

Tell your mum to get her butt home and look after her kids. He's feeling deserted and is acting out for attention. He's already been deserted by his father now his mother is doing the same thing. Kids need stability. I remember how lost I felt went my father died when I was young, I can't imagine how bad it would have been if he'd chosen to leave. Your mum will have time for herself when the kids are older and if god forbid she passes before then does she really want her children's memories of her to be tainted by feelings of desertion.

Sorry to sound so harsh but I've had a bit of experience with this. It can have a huge impact.

This.