[cluckybeez]

Hi,

Desperately looking for some advice.

My baby is almost 12 months old and doing great.

My relationship with DP is however in tatters. He is feeling very rejected (which I actually understand) and it's getting worse and worse.
I thought it might be to do with BF? But I've got the smallest of supplies left and still have no interest in sex.

The whole situation is getting me very depressed... which isn't helping libido etc.

Any advice on how to change this vicsious cycle?

Sadly, I am repelled by my DH at the moment. Even a kiss makes me almost want to vomit.

Yours sincerely,

Bad wife.

[LifesGood]

I had zero libido while BFing, even when I was down to one feed and then for a couple of months after weaning as well. It came back slowly and is now back to my normal low level

[kadoodle]

It's your hormones and there's not a lot you can do about it. The same hormones that make you produce milk are supressing your ovulation and your sexual desire.



In a nutshell - wean or tell him to suck it up and get used to Mrs Palmer.

[Pup-pup]

BF killed my libido too. It definitely came back once i weaned. It was that bad for me also.

[deejie]

Mine is non existent BFing until my cycles kick back in to gear. Then I have my moments, but certainly don't feel like it most of the time.


BUT

Sadly, I am repelled by my DH at the moment. Even a kiss makes me almost want to vomit.

I have never felt like this. Although some days I feel "all touched out" by having DS2 feed and all over me and DS1 all over me, the majority of the time I still love simple acts of affection.

[Matthias' mum]

I am the same. It is the hormones - my libido didn't return until I stopped BF and got my period back. DH was very understanding. It wasn't just that I didn't want to, it was also very very painful.

DH knew it was a BF thing, not related to him at all. We discussed it many times to make sure we were still ok, despite the lack of sex. His opinion was that BF was extremely important, and he wanted me to do it for as long as DS and I wanted, but preferably at least a year or so.

The most important thing for us was to make sure we still communicated about it, and found other ways to maintain our bond and connection to each other. I am now BF our second child, and we have the same situation. At least we knew what to expect this time!

[Alacritous~Andy]

Yep. Another one here who has nil libido while BF.

I cam also relate to the feeling a PP mentioned of feeling "all touched out".

[Jenflea]

Yup, same here. I also seem to have a super sensitive gag reflex since being pregnant(brushing my teeth would make me gag!) and kissing also seems quite yucky to me too.
I'm hoping fully weaning will help, cutting down didn't do much.
Doesn't help that I'm always listening out for her with one ear...or she starts waking in the night (the last few weeks)...

[suziej]

I breastfed and it didn't affect my libido - not saying that it doesn't, but it isn't always an all or nothing thing, and it can be a bit of hormonal and a bit of circumstances...

Does he woo, or is it a "business night" sort of thing? How are your energy levels otherwise? Does he brush his teeth enough?

I breastfed for 2.5 years this time around (last time around it was DD's father who didn't want to initiate and then no partner for the 2 years of feeding, but I still had some sexual urges to take care of IYKWIM)

I am just saying, it might not be a "wean or wait" scenario - get other things checked out such as thyroid and gingivitus

[Justaduck]

Mine is here and there. I got AF back at 13weeks PP despite only ever bfing. I find around the time I ovulate I want it, but afterwards forget it. Some months I have not much interest either way, although I want to have interest.
Plus I often have to make the decision between sex and sleep. Sleep usually wins