[epl0822]

As a parent I know it's crucial to give my toddler DS lots of attention and play with him. I have really struggled with this since he was a baby. My DH seems like a natural and can spend hours playing with him. It doesn't come natural to me and I just....don't enjoy it. I know it sounds awful and I hate to admit this to myself but that is how I feel.

I really have to make a conscious effort to spend time with DS. Sometimes I sit down to play with him or build blocks or read together and a few minutes later I think hmmmm...now what? Even when I put in a lot of effort it still feels awkward and unnatural and....honestly, tedious. I find it a lot easier when there is another adult interacting with him and I join in. I've been taking him to playgroups and music lessons so we spend more time doing stuff together but when we're at home I feel lost.

I feel guilty because I feel like I'm not doing enough. I feel guilty because I should enjoy this and I don't. I feel guilty because I should be naturally good at this as a parent and I'm not. I actually feel relieved when DH comes home because I know DS is getting so much more stimulation and play than what I'm capable of.

Does anyone else feel the same way? Anybody have advice for me?

[stopwhiningatme]

Oh yes. They're much more fun when they turn into little people who can give you a run for your money at checkers or snap.

[Suz01]

I feel the same way. DH can repeatedly play the same games over and over. From boo to tickling, to reading stories to rocking bubs to sleep. I'm a clock watcher. Is it that they get less time as they work, so they make the most of it? I found when I was working full time our relationship was much better.

[Excentrique]

I also find it really boring playing with the kids. Honestly, I don't stress about it. My parents didn't spend hours on the floor with me and I turned out ok. I was great at entertaining myself which is an important skill. I chat with my kids a lot, that's how I give them attention.

I think this is just another one of those areas us mothers feel guilty about, unnecessarily IMO.

[Kay1]

Maybe find something you can do parallel to each other, like drawing, painting, stamps etc. Reading books where you find things etc. Some people are just not good at getting down and silly and that's ok.

Do you roll a ball to him and have him roll it back? Things like that.

Its definitely easier when they can play games.

[GlitterFarts]

...

This post has been edited by Freakypet: 12/12/2012, 09:36 PM

[Paddlepop]

It sounds like your DS is getting lots of stimulation from other people and sources so perhaps you could view your time at home with him as giving him some quiet time/downtime and allowing him to learn how to play independently and amuse himself.

Don't feel guilty. Toddler games can be really boring.

[erindiv]

I'm the same with my two. DS is at a particularly frustrating stage where he will play happily alone but if I'm nearby he just whines and tries to climb onto my head. I just let him be. I figure he is learning better when he's not hanging off me anyway.

[cinnabubble]

I doubt most of our parents spent hours deliberately stimulating our brains, yet we managed to grow and develop. I wouldn't worry too much.

[SnazzySass]

I find playing blocks ect boring after a few seconds lol. I put on radio national so that I can keep myself entertained but still pay attention to DS. It doesn't always work but I have learned a lot about Jewish Philosophy lately while building block towers only to have them knocked down and commanded on pain of tantrum to do it again. You find it boring because it is, don't feel bad about it.