[Mummy&Daddy2Be]

DF and i decided to stop TTC 2 months ago. we were worried about jobs, money, house - you know all that stuff.. i also felt scared that having a baby would change our relationship (i made a thread about it a few months ago)

i was happy with our decision to put TTC on hold for a few years. within the last month or so.... ALL i can think about is having a baby.... i stalk every single TTC / LTTTC thread, i stalk all the belly buddies groups, secretly wishing it was me... i don't know what the hell is going on with me lately

i'm still scared and worried about all those things (money, job, house etc) but how do i know when we're ready? should you just automatically know you're ready, without having all these fears? do these fears/concerns mean that we're not ready, or are ready? how can you really tell...

none of this is probably making sense, i'm just rattling off whatever is going on in my head, and i need to get this all out.

i still haven't shed a single tear from our m/c... i think it hurts too much to think about it so i keep blocking out. i would have been about 6 months now... wow

i was watching 1 of my favourite TV series the other week, and one of the girls had a m/c, DF just turned to me, touched my hand and said "we went through that... don't worry baby we'll get pregnant again.." probably the first time we have spoke about it since it happened.

i have finished my study, and get my certificate sent out soon. my job contract runs out Jan 30th, and it's very touch and go whether i will be re-contracted next year because we have new leadership and are re-evaluating everything, and it also comes down to if they can afford me.

i just don't know....

any words of advice are welcome

[Lcasey]

Oh honey, I have no real advice to give, but couldn't not respond. I hope life settles for you soon so you can try again.

[Mo2k]

I didn't feel ready to start at all. In fact it was just a 'lets see' type of thing. 12 month later when we couldn't it then changed into a 'why can't we?' Thing and started fertility treatment. So then it became a 'just want to get pregnant!!!' Thing. When it finally did happen for us I realised that I was so bound up in indignation and fear that I hadn't allowed myself to think past the 2 little lines.....

In order for the IVF to actually work we had to make the decision for me to give up my job, which was a very stressful one with long hours. Although we were lucky in that it worked it may very well not have. Either way we ended up without much money and I don't care one bit. So much of our adult lives are planned out and for good reason. However this is one time where going with the heart over-ruled everything else.

Maybe you should both try talking about the m/c. It may make you able to voice what you're feeling and your partner may be feeling the same way. As your partner he had to face the loss too but also watch you go through it both emotionally and physically. You never know, he may have just agreed to waiting because he thought that is what you wanted.

I do hope everything works out for you xx

[PrincessPeach]

I don't know if you ever know when you are ready - however you have just written a lot of what was going through my mind.

We've just taken the wait & see approach & are really not taking things too seriously, though i turn 30 next year & i think after that we will be taking things a lot more seriously than now.

[Natttmumm]

Sorry you are going through all that! I might have bias advice 9as Ive went through a bit) but I think if you and DH really want a baby - I would adopt a approach of letting things happen. I wouldnt TTC but wouldnt try not to either.

I have found that finances, jobs etc all work out

[bec_1108]

All the same questions I was having 12 months ago! Still having, some days! We stopped using contraception in March and I honestly thought I'd fall PG straight away, and was slightly afraid of that happening. Fast forward to now, and we have only just now started really TRYING. It's like PP said, you go from wondering "what if it happens" to "why hasn't it happened yet"! We've got lots going on in our lives in the next 12'months. I am looking at an overseas posting for work, but that uncertainty hasn't stopped us from trying. We figure we will work everything out either way. If I'm PG, I have a baby to look forward to. If I'm not, we get to live overseas for a while. It will happen when it's meant to happen. Good luck!