[NewBeginning]

last tuesday i went for my 12 week scan only to be told bad news..

which resulted in a D & C 2 days later.

Every day i cry. i dont want to speak to anyone, see anyone or actual leave the house as i am struggling so much.

I just want to hear everyones stories after their D&C. how long did it take for bleeding to stop (heavy or light bleed), how long did it take for their period to return?

i feel as though i am at the start of my journey and i guess i want to hear about what its like when you reach that light at the end of your tunnel and how the journey has been?

[librablonde]

Oh OP, I'm so sorry for your loss.
After my D&C I bled for about 5 days and my body went through very rapid hormone changes back to it's pre-pg state: breasts reduced in fullness and nipples lightened again, got pimples, I'm sure I had PND or something like that mixed in my my grief. I coped with it by staying in bed a lot, eating too much, drinking too much and crying at odd moments. I think a little ceremony dedicated to your LO can be of benefit for some people, it was for me.
Big hugs to you, OP xoxox

ETA: my period took about 29 days to return and was clockwork every month after that. I also had uterine contraction pains for a few weeks after the D&C and my first few periods of the m/c were painful and heavy. Then they normalised and were fine again for me.
Everyone handles m/c differently and the grief process can be shorter or longer for each person. I'm still not over mine, I don't know when I will be. Just take each day as it comes. xoxox

This post has been edited by librablonde: 04/12/2012, 08:53 AM

[aleksandrap]

I'm so sorry to read about your loss OP.

I had my d&c last Thursday after finding out the Friday before that I had had a missed miscarriage so am keen to hear everyone's stories too. I am so up and down both physically and emotionally and feel so drained and sad.
After having all of last week off I came back to work yesterday thinking that I 'should' be fine, but my concentration is non existent and I am definitely not back to my normal self. Most of the office thinks I had a migraine so I feel so alone with it all.
Also I have started to have more bleeding since yesterday (5 days post procedure). For the first 4 days I only had very light spotting, but now it seems there is quite a bit of bright red blood. I was almost 11 weeks at the time of the d&c. Is this normal?

[hillplain]

Hi OP,

Firstly I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is just not fair to have to experience this.

I have had 2 MC this year followed by 2 D&C.
Cycle 1 - IVF ICSI cycle. Hearbeat detected at nearly 7 weeks. Spotting at 11.5 weeks and no hearbeat. Started to MC on my own and then D&C to help. As I have never been pregnant before the physical and emotional loss at nearly 12 weeks was an experience I would never wish on anyone. The DR said that there was still further loss that he removed in the D&C. I stayed at home for a week and cried and eat too much also. Struggled to return to work the following Monday as my employers and office manager know about our IVF journey and success/failures. I cried when I saw people I knew in town whilst shopping and emotionaly was not great due to all of the hormones too. It took I think 26 days for my period to return after. I then waited another 28 days (which is unusual for me as I am 26 day cycler) before I could start my next IVF cycle. I felt a lot more stable after about 3 weeks and was able to manage better.

Cycle 2 - IVF ICSI. Again a BFP. This time heartbeat detected at 7.2 weeks. Had aweful cramps at 8.5 weeks after requesting a second US for 9 weeks. Just before 9 weeks I had another US which showed no heartbeat. D&C the next day as leaving on tour to New Zealand for work with a group of men in 2 days. DH was not happy about me going but we had organised a holiday over there when he came over after 4 days. We did have a holiday and I have returned to work today which I am not all that emotionally stable with but am managing. Not sure how this month will unfold for me.

I can only say that time heals all and say that I truly understand how you are feeling as do so many others. You will never forget but the pain does lessen over time.

[Zipper]

I'm so sorry for your loss OP.

I had a missed misscarriage at 10 weeks in September and had a D and C the next day. I bleed very heavily for about 2 weeks then a light bleed for another 2 weeks.

Although this baby was a complete surprise for me it was very much wanted. I was devestated for a few weeks and cried all the time. I counted my weeks religiously and in the end I had to stop as it was driving me to depression. Once I stopped that and accepted that what will be will be and that I couldn't change the situation, I started to feel a bit better everyday. I bought a gorgeous silver bacelet with a saying engraved on it that meant something to me and the baby. Something to remember them by. Lately I feel really good and think that making plans (whether it's ttc another or planning a holiday or home reno) really helped me through those dark days.

Remember OP that the pain does gets better and you do move on but you never forget.

[Natttmumm]

I am so sorry for your loss - its such a hard time and understandable how you feel at the moment. I have had three miscarriages over the years.

Here's my story:

I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. It was a really tough time and I struggled with it for a long time. The actualy bleeding was minimal and I was absolutely physically fine the next day. Emotionally it took a long time and like you i didnt want to be around people. We fell pregnant again very quickly and sadly lost that one too (no DC). Again physically I was fine a few days later - but emotionally it was tough.

Fast forward 5 years and I do now have 2 children. When my first was born i thought i would instantly feel better but i didnt. I did see a psychologist a few times which helped me through it all. I did take me a long time to recover!

I am now expecting my third. Just before this pregnancy I had a third miscarriage at 7 weeks. It was tough to deal with and i found myself crying much more than i expected. I did have a DC and again the bleeding as minimal and I was fine and back to work the next day. we actually decided not to have another baby - but it happended unexpectedly.

Take time to recover as its a very sad time. I think I tried to rush on and try again after my losses which in hindsight didnt help

[KRT]

I had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks, after seeing a nice, strong heartbeat at 7 weeks. I ended up having to wait four days for the D&C, and went in the day of my 12 week scan.

Physically, I felt pretty okay after the D&C. The bleeding was minimal - nothing a panty liner couldn't cope with - and it finished within three or so days. However, emotionally, I was a mess. PP likened it to PND, and I think that was pretty close. It took about a month for me to get off the extreme emotional rollercoaster, which I think was mostly hormone-induced. I was still emotionally fragile, but I could at least hold myself together.

After four weeks my cycles returned, but were suddenly 24-26 days rather than 28. It took six months for me to fall pregnant again, even though I was ovulating and everything looked fine. In the end, I fell pregnant when I ovulated on day 14 rather than on day 10 for a change. I found out I was pregnant again about two days before my original EDD. I don't know how I would have gone with that milestone if it wasn't for falling pregnant.

What helped me was that I decided to believe that I didn't lose a baby. I was pregnant, but there must have been something so badly wrong that I could never have had a live, healthy baby. I know my way of thinking is not for everyone, but it did help me.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

[NewBeginning]

thank you for your stories..

its nice to see how people have coped during such a devastating time. from your stories i can see that there is a light.....

i know its going to be a long process, which i will never forget, but i know its going to be a part of my life now.

[NoNoBoo]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

I had six miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy during my journey to have my three children. It was a long time ago, as my youngest child is now five and my eldest 12, so can't remember too much about the time immediately after each miscarriage. However, I can tell you that, emotionally, it was a very hard time.

But there certainly is light at the end of the tunnel. Time is a wonderful healer. All these years later, I look back at that time and remember the sadness of it, but don't feel sad (if you get what I mean). I wish you the very, very best.


This post has been edited by NoNoBoo: 04/12/2012, 03:30 PM

[Cookie_J]

I have some Qs and need some advice about D & C. Unfortunately my GP does not work today, and I have lots of questions. Because of work commitments I can't see her until Saturday.

My first pregnancy, and I just got the bad news today during my 12 week scan that my baby stopped growing some time after week 8. Especially devastated as I had my dating scan at exactly 8 weeks 0 days and everything looked normal and there was a strong heartbeat. I have only had a bit of spotting over the past weekend and normal pregnancy symptoms up to today. I haven't stopped crying all day. The doctor at the U/S clinic recommended a D & C.

1) How quickly can you get booked in for a D & C - seems a few of you had it the day after the miscarriage was diagnosed.
2) Public or private hospital - does it make a difference apart from hospital excess cost?
3) Were you ok to return to work the day after D & C (physically)? I work full time and my position requires me to travel interstate (fly) for a day or more every week. Need to know if I will should to take more than 1 day off work/ avoid air travel, etc. No one at work knew about my pregnancy. Obviously the emotional toll will be something I'm just going to have to deal with.