[KeepTheFaith]

* Pre-amble: Please be aware that I am not trying to be offensive to ANYONE here!!! Well, except for the ex-Friend, but that is a whole other vent that will never happen

So my DH is going through a 'break up' with one of his oldest female friends. Friend has a history of being a bit difficult, a bit of a drama queen, but had always been a decent person (or so I thought). Now, Friend has been going off the rails (drugs, men etc) in the last few years, and has just become too much hard work. Think late night dramas, dangerous behaviour, and a huge amount of whining self centred-ness.

So DH decides to end the friendship. And he tells his Friend, albeit as politely as he can, that the relationship is one sided. It's all about what he can do for her in her latest drama.

She retaliates with a variety of insults, but lays most of the blame for his statements on me, stating that there is something wrong with me because of (blah blah blah) "and SHE ONLY HAS GAY FRIENDS!!! THERE IS SOMETHING REALLY WRONG WITH HER!!! OTHER PEOPLE THINK THIS TOO - SHE IS NOT NORMAL!!!!"

After DH told me this, and we had a bit of a WTF horrified chuckle over how nutty she has become, I realised: it's true. ALL my good friends, for the last 20 years or so, have been gay. And I do mean ALL. Male or female, straight 'looking' or 'twink', in or out of the closet - no matter what 'variation', all my closest friends are gay.

Now, I'm straight. But am obviously very used to, and comfortable with, being the minority as a straight female at a Gay Bar/Drag Show/GLBTI function/dinner/rally etc. In fact, I much prefer it that way - I have a great time, with my lovely interesting friends, and don't usually get hit on. And FTR, I'm not trying to be discriminatory, or insulting, or start any sort of GLBTI/straight debate. I'm just thinking -

What, if any, judgements/thoughts would people have about ME, knowing this about my friendships?

Clearly, DH and I have made none. I was so unaware of the situation - my friends are just "Tom", or "Jane" - not their sexuality/sexual preference, that I hadn't even realised it until she pointed it out. But maybe others make other assumptions?? Or perhaps it's just DH's now ex-Friend's last piece of nuttiness

I have asked a couple of my friends what they think, and they have made no judgement (other than one friend, "Jane", saying "Well, put you in a sea of people and I know that you will always come back with a gorgeous gay boy!"

BTW, I'm not in the slightest bit worried about what/if this says anything about me - I'm just curious, and stuck at home with an infant, and have nothing to do in the sweltering heat other than expose myself to strangers on the interwebz

[katpaws]

Many of my most dearly loved friends are gay, and the hetro:gay ratio is pretty much in the upper for gay friends. I don't think it is at all strange if someone has a lot of gay friends. I've lived in some country towns where racism, zenophobia and prejudice were rife, and you were very restricted in who you could make friends with and restricted in the number of people who would make friends with you. My gay friends are wonderful and supportive and i love being with them; but it is because of their wonderful qualities and personalites that i am friends with them, not because they are gay.

I think people just like to turn the word gay into an insult these days.

This post has been edited by katpaws: 03/12/2012, 05:32 PM

[Excentrique]

How do you meet these gay friends? Is it through other gay friends? Via gay functions? Maybe its just circumstantial?

My DH works in a workplace that hires a lot of homosexuals, as they generally have a great personality for the job (flamboyant). DH has made many homosexual friends through work, its just circumstantial. He used to be a bit funny about homosexuality, but now he's fine with it so i think that's great.

[KeepTheFaith]

Excentrique , I have met most of these friends on my own, be it through work, Uni, an ex partner, and even in bars. I don't believe it's circumstantial. Good question though!

[kpingitquiet]

I wouldn't think it was strange to have lots of gay besties. Then again, a lot of my friends live in San Francisco where this is not entirely uncommon!

[Femogan Boop!]

You should 'come out' to her OP.

Pull her aside and confess that you've always felt like a gay man trapped in a woman's body. Ask her to start a support group.

Get back to us with the results.

[Soprano-Cat]

My female friends are all hetero so far, but ALL of my male friends are either gay, bi, or 40+ bachelors of any preference (I'm 28)

Not sure what that says about me!

[KeepTheFaith]

OMG Bette Boop, that is EXACTLY what my best friend (a gay male) says about me! That I'm a gay man trapped in a woman's body!

And as for coming out to her and having a crack...Well, we need some entertainment whilst we await the latest Bridezilla update (divorced/pregnant etc)

I will get back to you...

[happening]

I have a lot of gay friends - I'd reckon about a 50/50 split.

I think it's because I am interesting and articulate and arty and political and funny and self-deprecating.

Or because I went to a girl's school and then lived in Prahran.

Or because my brother is gay.

I don't think it says anything about me. I think it says a lot about people who comment on it.

[KeepTheFaith]

Happening, I used to live in Prahran, about 6 years ago. I miss it so much!

And no, even that wasn't my design - DH had a house there, and I moved in with him.

I miss Commercial Road