[strawberry blond...]

There are always negative threads about IL's so I want to hear all the funny things your IL's have done. Perhaps they didn't seem so funny at the time but now you see the funny side. If you have no funny stories you might have some weird ones the rest of us will find funny.

I will start! I was annoyed for 5 mins but after that I saw the funny side and now it's a running joke.

Last christmas my IL's were staying with us for 7 1/2 weeks (fun. fun, fun lol) in the last few days I was opening some icy poles with my kitchen scissors for my DD's when my oldest DD piped up " Oh they are the scissors granddad uses for his toe nails" I told her not to be so silly granddad wouldn't use my kitchen scissors to cut his toe nails, there are nail clippers in the bathroom. She got a bit upset and said she wasn't lying and he did use them. IL's were outside topping up their tans before returning to the UK so I went outside laughing and told granddad what DD had said and waited for him to deny it....he didn't! He said yes a few weeks ago he used them for his toe nails but not to worry as he has rinsed them under the tap! I had been using those toe nail scissors to cut up meat!

[katpaws]

After DD was born i was diagnosed with secondary infertility and it was something that i did not discuss with family, or really feel it was any of their business and my health issues were very complicated that I did not want to go through them with anyone. On one visit to us, the InLaws decided to talk to us about their infertility journey (which was odd as to stop them asking when i was going to have another baby i told them i could no longer get pregnant and to never ask me about that subject again). As Catholics in the 1960s, sperm could not be wasted. So i got to hear about how they collected sperm for the fertility testing, often it involved a spoon and collection soon after sex. By this stage i am staring daggers at DH to make them stop. But he doesn't and it gets worse. I get to hear how FiL had his sperm collected when the spoon method was not working. I got to hear how the doctor inserted his thumb into Fil's bum to make him come! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! I don't know how the sperm was not wasted after that (don't want to know), i ran out after FiL said he came quickly, i could not take anymore. My ears! My ears! Some nights i still wake up screaming.... the spoon... the thumb

To be honest, it was a awful experience for me, one i will never get over, i still see that thumb but it makes a good story at dinner parties.... Other people find it funny....but they weren't there when it happened...

This post has been edited by katpaws: 03/12/2012, 06:18 AM

[missjoads1234]

Sorry but the second story isnt funny thats just wrong. Who tells people that sort of info? Thats just not right.

[amabanana]

After DD was born i was diagnosed with secondary infertility and it was something that i did not discuss with family, or really feel it was any of their business and my health issues were very complicated that I did not want to go through them with anyone. On one visit to us, the InLaws decided to talk to us about their infertility journey (which was odd as to stop them asking when i was going to have another baby i told them i could no longer get pregnant and to never ask me about that subject again). As Catholics in the 1960s, sperm could not be wasted. So i got to hear about how they collected sperm for the fertility testing, often it involved a spoon and collection soon after sex. By this stage i am staring daggers at DH to make them stop. But he doesn't and it gets worse. I get to hear how FiL had his sperm collected when the spoon method was not working. I got to hear how the doctor inserted his thumb into Fil's bum to make him come! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! I don't know how the sperm was not wasted after that (don't want to know), i ran out after FiL said he came quickly, i could not take anymore. My ears! My ears! Some nights i still wake up screaming.... the spoon... the thumb

To be honest, it was a awful experience for me, one i will never get over, i still see that thumb but it makes a good story at dinner parties.... Other people find it funny....but they weren't there when it happened...

I'm sorry.

Words fail me! That is either horrifying or hilarious. I'm not sure which.

[katpaws]

Well the OP asked for funny or weird. I don't know what category this story fits into. Horror????? I think MiL decided we were having fertility issues before DD was born so they might have been saving their "spoon" talk for a long time. I don't know why they told us... it put us off sex for a year...

This post has been edited by katpaws: 03/12/2012, 06:25 AM

[amabanana]

Well the OP asked for funny or weird. I don't know what category this story fits into. Horror????? I think MiL decided we were having fertility issues before DD was born so they might have been saving their "spoon" talk for a long time. I don't know why they told us... it put us off sex for a year...

Only a year? I'm surprised you're not scarred for life.

[Mrs Mel]

After DD was born i was diagnosed with secondary infertility and it was something that i did not discuss with family, or really feel it was any of their business and my health issues were very complicated that I did not want to go through them with anyone. On one visit to us, the InLaws decided to talk to us about their infertility journey (which was odd as to stop them asking when i was going to have another baby i told them i could no longer get pregnant and to never ask me about that subject again). As Catholics in the 1960s, sperm could not be wasted. So i got to hear about how they collected sperm for the fertility testing, often it involved a spoon and collection soon after sex. By this stage i am staring daggers at DH to make them stop. But he doesn't and it gets worse. I get to hear how FiL had his sperm collected when the spoon method was not working. I got to hear how the doctor inserted his thumb into Fil's bum to make him come! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! I don't know how the sperm was not wasted after that (don't want to know), i ran out after FiL said he came quickly, i could not take anymore. My ears! My ears! Some nights i still wake up screaming.... the spoon... the thumb

To be honest, it was a awful experience for me, one i will never get over, i still see that thumb but it makes a good story at dinner parties.... Other people find it funny....but they weren't there when it happened...

That is all kinds of wrong. What did your husband say? I would be mortified if my parents spoke like that.

OP, ewww to the toenails and cutting up meat with the same scissors.

This post has been edited by Mrs Mel: 03/12/2012, 06:30 AM

[katpaws]

What did your husband say?

He was as shocked as me, he couldn't say anything. But we now have a collection of words that bring us out into fits of laughter or silent rememberance (ie "spoon" "thumb" "Christmas" "gourmet ", "agapanthus" "SIL's cat" "dingo dog" etc).

I could tell the story of my DD's first Christmas experience with the InLaws... whole different level... i got to see FiL's bottom, but that is only the tip of the iceberg of that event... gastro, crazy cat, heat wave, crazy dog... the sea was stormy that day, my friends....

This post has been edited by katpaws: 03/12/2012, 06:41 AM

[Dylan's Mummy]

When our baby was born this year my MIL gave different people different spellings of his name.

[Zesty]

My MIL never entered foot in our house. Before you jump to the wrong conclusion, it wasn't her protest of her son and I living together (even though she used to say we lived together "in de****to") as we weren't together initially and she still wouldn't come in. Apparently it was "not appropriate". Yes, that's right, not appropriate for my MIL to enter the house of her son. I believe there would be people around who would relish a MIL like that.