[feliz6]

i have been posting a bit about DS and his sleep because i am really struggling with it.
prior to DS i would sleep a solid 9 hours per night. i become impatient and emotional with a lack of sleep- even prior to DS.
so, now im really struggling. DS usually sleeps one good block (3 hours) in a 24 hour period. all other sleeps are about 40-60 minutes. he usually falls alseep on me. most of the time when i try and transfer him to his cot he wakes and screams the house down. i dont mind him sleeping on me, but its not really working for me to have him doing this all the time. i struggle to get to the toilet without him screaming, never mind take a shower. DS is a cranky pants most of the day and i think its because he is so tired. his eyes look tired and usually when he feeds he can hardly keep his eyes open.
we have only one chair in the house where i can sit comfortably with DS and am feeling trapped in that chair. im in there half the night and most of the day.
DH is great. he has taken additional time off work, but now has no more leave left, so any time off is unpaid. he gets up early every morning and takes DS so i can get 1-1.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
the only cooking being done is by DH.
i am feeling very sad today. some of my feelings are probably consistent with PND but i really think its just a lack of sleep. on the odd occasion where i get to nbap during the day i feel awesome.
this morning i have been holding a screaming DS while crying myself. -DH had to got to work this morning because of all the extra time off he's been having. if things dont improve soon i dont know how i will continue. i dont want to spend each day crying. i dont want to spend each day listening to my poor DS cry because he is so tired! have just tried introducing dummy with no benefits so far. if i put DS to bed awake he usually screams until he works himself up into a sweat, even if i stay patting him.
btw DS is almost 8 weeks old. saw dr. when he went for his shots who said no medical probs.

[Escapin]

Sleep deprivation is just awful. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. It does sound like PND - doesn't really matter if the lack of sleep is causing it, you should really talk to your GP. And do you have anyone who could come and help a bit during the day? I don't have any family locally so I know how hard it is. I know now I should have accepted those offers of help! Even so that I could just have a shower or hour's sleep.

[Precious Z]

hugs to you op I found the first 4 months and the lack of sleep really really hard.

I suggest try everything just to see what works for your baby. Do you use a wrap? Maybe a bouncy chair to rock to sleep? Also depending on weather, your ds could be too hot.

Just remember it will get easier and it won't always be so hard. I really wish somebody had told me that.

[Tesseract]

It will get better, I promise. It won't be like this forever. One way or another, it won't be like this forever. They change so quickly. I found the first 12 weeks particularly challenging with feeding/sleeping but things did settle a bit after that. 8 weeks is a particularly difficult time - you have a wonder week going on (google wonder weeks, best info ever!) and crying for "no reason" also peaks at 8 weeks (also google 'purple crying' website).

If you think you might be depressed then speak to someone about it.

All new mums need help, don't be afraid to ask for help. My DD is nearly 2 years old and DH STILL does all the cooking. Looking after a baby is the same as three full time jobs, don't expect yourself to do much else, at least not until you're getting some decent sleep.

It sounds like your DS really loves being close to you. Have you tried a sling? I found the hug-a-bub a life saver, she would be content and have some good day sleeps in there. Also setting up a safe co-sleeping arrangement - this helps for night sleeping and also means you can have a nap with bubs during the day.

Other things to consider might be the Pantley Dance (google it) which is a technique for getting a baby down into a cot/bassinette without them waking up. I also found a warm mattress (I warmed it using a hot water bottle) and jersey cotton sheets, helped me get her down once asleep.

hugs to you, it can be a real challenge!

[Violet Devine]

hugs. Couldn't read and not reply.

Those early weeks are tough. Perhaps focussing on a basic routine of wake, nappy, feed, (nappy again if they're anything like my boys), wrap and sleep. A bit ofna pattern helped me while I worked out what my boys needed. Less decision making helps me.

Please rest as much as you can (don't even think about housework).

Remember to eat.

Going for a short walk each day is great for us. Helped me know it was day time, bub would either sleep or just sound quieter out in the open.

Please do look out for PND. Maybe make a note in your diary for a month away to assess how your feeling ?

Don't mean to be bossy, just wanted to give you a few options to think about. If all else fails, chanting 'this too shall pass' whilencuddling in the early hours.

Call anybody you thinkmmight be able to help, your families, friends, anyone who congratulated you when he was born is a great place to start. Tell them your still settling in, would love some company for a warm drink and a shower.

[lisles]

Hi OP,

Mine were like this - they would fall asleep feeding, then wake up screaming when I tried to put them down into the cot. Once awake they would refuse to sleep again for ages, even though they were clearly overtired. It's frustrating, isn't it!

The one thing I found worked for me was to feed them lying down in my bed or on a mattress on the floor. When they fell asleep I would wait a few minutes to make sure they were properly out to it, slide the nipple out and quietly sneak away! Because I wasn't having to move them they didn't stir.

I had my bed pushed against a wall, with baby between me and the wall so she couldn't fall. During the day when I wasn't going to be in bed with her we used the mattress on the floor so if she did roll off she wouldn't get hurt.

I found mine started sleeping better naturally once they were mobile, but that is a few months away for you yet. Hopefully the lying down feeds will help in the meantime. I know a lot of people are against the feeding to sleep idea, but it was the only thing that worked for us.

A sling may be worth considering too, sometimes babies will sleep in these which allows you to be mobile. Didn't work for us, but some mothers swear by them.

The only other thing I can suggest is trying to get your baby to sleep earlier after each feed. If they are really overtired they seem to get more worked up and harder to settle. When things got really bad I would sometimes go to bed with baby and a book, doing nothing but feeding and sleeping. It seemed to help us both.

The stage between six weeks and three months was the hardest for us, then it slowly got better. Good luck OP, I hope it improves for you soon.

[gettheetoanunner...]

Feliz, you poor thing - it is so emotionally, physically and mentally exhausting eh?
I second escapins suggestions - they are sound.

I appreciate you had said the doctors had advised that your little one presented with no medical problems, but it may be worthwhile having a look at the symptoms corresponding to reflux.

I only suggest this as DS1 displayed similar sleep patterns and he had reflux.
Once we started managing this with medication (Zantec from memory) and sleeping on an angle, he started sleeping much, much better

Also - have you got a vibrating rocker or a papasan swing?
I found these to be lifesavers.

Perhaps seeks some advice from baby sleep centres - I'm not savvy on these details, perhaps other posters can provide some informaiton on these

These are just some suggestions that helped us in a similar situation.

I really hope that can find some relief - just keep talking and don't be afraid to ask for help.

[kittennic]

Sounds exactly like me when DS1 was about 5 months old. I vividly remember sitting sitting on the sofa at 4.30 in the morning with DS1 on my lap crying and me crying too.
DH got a laptop for me to use during the day when stuck on the sofa.
It was hard, and really awful at times. Hang in there, it does get better.
Get help when you can - parents, friends, anyone who can give bub expressed milk while you sleep for several hours during the day. Seriously - now is the time to accept all offers of help, especially babysitting help.
Good luck.

[Alacritous~Andy]

Hi OP,

I am not going to give you any advice about might be this, might be that, because it could be a whole range of things. But I will say one thing - ask for help. If not from your GP, then call your local child health. It sound like you could use some support right now, and there is a lot of it out there, just keep asking.

I remember that same trapped feeling at about 8 weeks, and I joined a local mothers group run by child health, and also joined the ABA mothers group in my area. The screaming doesn't seem so loud out of the house for some reason. And the support was amazing.

[Neko NoNo]

It's awful isn't. There is some really great advice here, but if you are already doing most of this stuff and it isn't working, I recommend signing up for sleep school. In NSW it takes about 6 weeks to get in (I imagine it's similar in other states) and you don't have to go if things are better for you when you get in.

I kept being told babies don't sleep, it's normal. Well, at 11 months he still wasn't sleeping more than 3 hours in a row, and that was with cosleeping and breast feeding in bed. Sleep school saved me and my baby because if I hadn't got some sleep soon, I may have hurt him. It was just awful. I nearly left a number of times. I wish I had done sleep school sooner. It's not just the sleeping that helps, but the support, the cooked meals and no cleaning!

Good luck and I hope your baby turns into sleeping street very soon for you.