[saxa]

So I have just come across DS who is 9 talking to a few of the girls in his class on some messenger app he has downloaded this afternoon.

My DH is currently on a plane and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

He had a bit of paper one of the girls had written the app name and their user names on, I have just taken the iPad off him and read what was written, most of it was just silly who do you like in class what are you doing.

I was really not quite prepared for this messenger stuff at this age.

I'm probably a bit more concerned about it as our school had recently having a massive issue with year seven kids and Facebook and online stuff, some pretty terrible things have been said and done as a result of this behaviour at school.

So unable to discuss with DH at the moment have others had this come up at this age??

As I said for now I have taken my iPad away from him but just not sure how else to address it!

[SeaPrincess]

My children don't know my iTunes password, so they can't download apps without me/approval. I also have it in my settings to request the password every time.

This post has been edited by SeaPrincess: 28/11/2012, 06:17 PM

[Infinite*Hope]

I would allow my nearly 12 year old, but not my 8 year old to use chat apps. And my kids also know way better than to download anything without my permission! It would be an instant loss of privilege in this house that's for sure.

[saxa]

Actually my iPad usually asks for my password before downloading any new apps - off to check my settings!

[howdo]

This mostly doesn't bother me, they know how to be safe and only talk to people they know. My DD12 uses Kik and Instagram. I did delete Instagram from DS - he put it on DH's iPod - as he is 9 and I don't want him hooking up with randoms, he was coming across a lot of unknown profiles and isn't cluey enough to filter them. So at 9 I would discourage it too. 11 is our age for IMing.

This post has been edited by howdo: 28/11/2012, 06:27 PM

[RunawayPrincess]

If you monitor it closely, I don't see why not? How would it be any different to him chatting on the phone?

[mitty82]

We went through this a few weeks back, I thought yep just inicent chatting. Until I randomly walked passed my daughters room and said hey let me take a look at what you are doing on your tablet.

What I read mention of rape, sex and other stuff which i know year 7s all know about but OMG. Swear words like F and a few others. Was very surprised to see my daughter had used some swear words but the other stuff was from some year 7s in her class. What an eye opener!!
I can tell you know that i have blocked the boys from her friend list and only two girls is who she can talk to at present.

[adnama]

I would be setting boundaries, I would be annoyed that they downloaded something without permission, but as long as you have a close eye whilst he is on chat I don't see a major issue with it.

[saxa]

I do admit my initial reaction to him was a bit OTT!

I was horrified to hear of the bullying and such going on amongst the year 7 boys at our school recently, some of the stuff being said on instant massage and Facebook was really disturbing 2 of the kids being bullied have not been at school for a few weeks because of it. From the little I know the parents of the bullies were the last to know so all I can really conclude is lack of supervision of what they are up to online?

I have had a talk with DS and told him he is not to be using it for now and also about not downloading anything without permission again.

I will leave it at that for now and DH can have a further discussion about it when he gets home - if he gets home tonight flying into Perth!! The weather is crazy at the moment!

[FrogIsAFrogIsAFr...]

It's really hard to know what to recommend, isn't it? Technology moves faster than I can keep up!

DS 11 has many ways of chatting online (through his sports club forum with other mates), on Minecraft, via email. I don't mind it at 11, at 9 I would be a little hesitant.

I think starting out with chatting in 'controlled' online environments is s good way to start (where he chats with real life friends only), and is taught safety/ etiquette etc by a watchful parent.

I would not be cool with him using a password for downloads without permission, lol!