[key_gal]

Hi all,

Just a little venting off time from me.

My husbands been talking about going on holidays with his mates either during April or in Sep next year. Im due 5th of June which means its either about 32week of my pregnancy or just 3 mth after baby born.

I have told him i think I will need support and especially when I become more heavy I will b more likely to be in pain or cramping. To which he reckons I am being OTT and being all spoilt. He wants his time out and alone time with boys and argues that I have had mine before the pregancy so its not fair. If the single moms can do it so should I be able to.

I can definitely see how he is not really attached emotionally to the baby and he just see it as a change in his life that he has to deal with. He wants his life to go on as usual and be able to spend time with his friends who he doesnt see as much because everyone is busy with work.

I am feeling quite upset but torn between decisions. If I force him to stay I think he will take grudges against the baby and think he is losing his freedom because of baby. If I let him go with his friends then I will be looking at probably surviving by myself for i think about 2 weeks either in late pregnancy or early after birth bonding periods. It is my 1st pregnancy and I am feeling quite nervous about everything. My parents in law are saying I should be allowing him to go because he will lose his freedom soon.

[key_gal]

Oh and I have asked him previously to go in this Dec since I will be in 2nd tremester and is able to cope better. He said his friends are too busy with work and their family and will not be able to go. So he wants to go in either April or Sep next year instead.

[melaine]

Plenty of women survive the whole pregnancy and post natal period without their partners present (if they are away with work, deployed overseas etc).

.
HOnestly? I think you'd be fine at either of those time periods.

Where is he going?

[Ehill]

April would be fine. Nothing happening trust me unless you are advised by your OB you have a high risk pregnancy. Would be awesome in fact....noone to clean up after, noone to cook for. Go and stay with a friend or your mum or something. No biggie trust me. My DH was in Melb for work a week before my due date.

[Bomber girl]

I would send him in sep. you would prob enjoy the peace with just you and bub

[idignantlyright]

I couldn't see a problem with him going in April. You are asking him to go because of how you might be feeling. Truthfully, you may feel fantastic at that stage.

[nakedrhubarb]

Do you live near your family or have support near by and is your pregnancy free of complications to date? If so, I would let him go before the baby is born. Qualify it by saying that if your doctor puts you on bed rest then you will need him to stay and look after you.

I think that once your baby is born you will need him more as 3 month old babies still wake up in the night and sleep a lot during the day.

I'll also add that my husband didn't bond with any of our babies until they were in his arms. It didn't feel real until that point.

[SophieBeagle]

If the single moms can do it so should I be able to.

I would not be happy about that comment!

[CountryBumpkin]

Xmas is a bad time for families, April is great, and you'll get to enjoy some time on your own! It's not long, you're only 32 weeks.

[Ms K]

You should be able to cope alone at 32weeks if your having an uneventful pregnancy. I didn't get uncomfortable until the last couple of weeks and even then dh being there is not really helpful.