[mitty82]

Ok MIL is on a pension living in a unit in a retirement type area. FIL passed away 5 years ago approx. Since then she has met a man who isnt very good company. They arent boyfriend and girlfriend from what we know.



He doesnt live there, his daughters have stolen from MIL. Anyway my husbands sister rang us to let us know that MIL phones been cut off once again and she keeps going and buying this guy alcohol, smokes etc leaving her with not enough money to pay her phone bill or put food on the table. She is probably behind in her rent and electricity. WOuldnt be the first time.

She has to keep going to vinnies and getting food vouchers. What the hell do we do?
We have spoken to her numerous times about this bloke, the cops have told her to stay away from him and his family that they are bad news and so has my husbands sister and her husband.

We think she is buying him for his company, she does suffer depression despite what she tells you. Im also worried maybe he may of threatened her. I know she does his washing, provides some night time meals for him. IF we go visit her which isnt to often for various reasons he stays away until we leave as she is worried about what my husband will say.

When FIL died we had to pay for his funeral, and pay about a $1000 towards owed bills to get her up to speed on things before she had to go on the single pension.

Any advice, i talked to hubby and he said the only option might be put her on to the public trust, which she wouldnot like at all, leave her be, or hook her up with centrepay to atleast get her bills paid for her. But i can still see the same thing happening.

She lives in QLD.

This post has been edited by mitty82: 26/11/2012, 05:43 PM

[lovealpacas]

Sorry I don't know what you can do to help her, but I really feel there was no need to mention his race in your post.

[JustBeige]

or hook her up with centrepay to atleast get her bills paid for her.

I think this is the best outcome if she allows you to.

She has been warned and warned and warned. As much as it hurts, she is an adult who has the capacity to make ****ed up choices. If she does that, then she has to live with the consequences.

The only other thing I would do (possibly), is help her out and do an online grocery shop for her every now and then. Just cupboard staples so she at least had food to eat. Or talk to centrelink about giving her food vouchers instead of just money.



Tip - if you actually want help and not abuse, take his race out of your OP, it really has no bearing on it at all. Race doesnt make him an a*s*hole - genetics and upbringing do.

[mitty82]

Lovealpacas...im aware I may be flamed for the mentioning of his race....im putting on my flame suit.

This is a real worry and we have no idea what else to try. His family has been in trouble with police lots and are well known to police. He drinks does drugs, drives drunk with MIL in the car in an uninsured unregistered car. Either way this guy is taking advantage of MIL and we want to know what the hell to do. We live over 4 hours away and when she doesnt even have a phone to contact her anymore makes things extremely hard. My sil lives in the same town but rang us to complain.

This post has been edited by mitty82: 26/11/2012, 05:55 PM

[bakesgirls]

What does the guys indigenous background have to do with anything?

I think organising centrepay to pay her bills sounds sensible, but her history of depression does not mean that she is incapable of making choices for herself. If she doesn't want things to change, you can't force her to change them.

You said you think she is lonely. Does she do anything socially? Can she be introduced to some sort of social group or be introduced to a hobby?

[Ianthe]

and his race gives everyone a full background of him.

I totally understand that not all indigenous are like this, there are some lovely wonderful people who are indigenous. However the ones who are indigenous and are most probably alcoholics are not of the lovely wonderful people.

You should probably stop posting.You aren't doing yourself any favours trying to explain yourself.

[bakesgirls]

Ok MIL is on a pension living in a unit in a retirement type area. FIL passed away 5 years ago approx. Since then she has met a man who isnt very good company. They arent boyfriend and girlfriend from what we know.



He doesnt live there, his daughters have stolen from MIL. Anyway my husbands sister rang us to let us know that MIL phones been cut off once again and she keeps going and buying this guy (who happens to be indigenous(im not racist)) alcohol, smokes etc leaving her with not enough money to pay her phone bill or put food on the table. She is probably behind in her rent and electricity. WOuldnt be the first time.

She has to keep going to vinnies and getting food vouchers. What the hell do we do?
We have spoken to her numerous times about this bloke, the cops have told her to stay away from him and his family that they are bad news and so has my husbands sister and her husband.

We think she is buying him for his company, she does suffer depression despite what she tells you. Im also worried maybe he may of threatened her. I know she does his washing, provides some night time meals for him. IF we go visit her which isnt to often for various reasons he stays away until we leave as she is worried about what my husband will say.

When FIL died we had to pay for his funeral, and pay about a $1000 towards owed bills to get her up to speed on things before she had to go on the single pension.

Any advice, i talked to hubby and he said the only option might be put her on to the public trust, which she wouldnot like at all, leave her be, or hook her up with centrepay to atleast get her bills paid for her. But i can still see the same thing happening.

She lives in QLD.

Quoted for posterity.

Lovealpacas...im aware I may be flamed for the mentioning of his race....im putting on my flame suit.

This is a real worry and we have no idea what else to try. His family has been in trouble with police lots and are well known to police. they are the type to drink do drugs, drive drunk with MIL in the car in an uninsured unregistered car and his race gives everyone a full background of him.
I totally understand that not all indigenous are like this, there are some lovely wonderful people who are indigenous. However the ones who are indigenous and are most probably alcoholics are not of the lovely wonderful people. Either way this guy is taking advantage of MIL and we want to know what the hell to do. We live over 4 hours away and when she doesnt even have a phone to contact her anymore makes things extremely hard. My sil lives in the same town but rang us to complain.

I think you're digging a deeper hole for yourself.

[mitty82]

Trouble is I dont think she will give us permission for us to set up centrepay. We took out funeral insurance for her inwhich she pays for it, im pretty sure though she probably has cancelled it by now. This might sound cruel or not nice etc, her upbringing was from a family with lots of money back in the day. She is 79 this year. They had a nanny and had someone homeschool them, she didnt have to lift a finger and FIL was the one to pay bills, do the cooking etc. She has pretty much been babied and has never learnt to do some things for herself. I have no idea how my husband has learnt to function for himself sometimes.

[Stellajoy]

Good to see racism alive and well

[mommyoffour]

15109706[/url]']

I totally understand that not all indigenous are like this, there are some lovely wonderful people who are indigenous. However the ones who are indigenous and are most probably alcoholics are not of the lovely wonderful people.

This IS a racist comment, OP. How you think it isn't is baffling!!


Edit: spelling

This post has been edited by mommyoffour: 26/11/2012, 05:26 PM