[wca]

Hi Everyone,

I am at the point where I'm about the take the jump and have my 4.5yr old assessed. Well, at least talk to someone about her behaviour. I don't know who though. The GP? Someone gave me the number for Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service in my area but I'm not sure if thats the right route to go?
I already feel terribly guilty in wondering if she is 'normal' or not. Of course, DH thinks I'm over reacting but he doesn't see her the way I do. Looking back, I remember taking her to the GP as a baby because all she did was cry. Then I took her to the CYH nurse at 3 because I was having difficulty dealing with her behaviour. She sat and played with a car and the nurse pretty much said "Yep she seems ok to me" and that all 3yr old are challening. I felt a bit defeated and that it was all in my head. All our friends and family have, at some point, made comments in jest about how she is unique/in her own little world/quirky/hard work etc etc. But how do you know if your child is just a bit quirky or if there's something underlying? Her behaviour that concerns me is -

Hyperactivity, always fidgeting and doesn't often sit still
Always moving/jumping/hopping
Jumps around, on furniature, all the time
Is loud
Interrupts allthe time and gets right in your face to talk
Can be intentionally mean, will walk past her siblings and just whack them or kick for no reason
Doesn't seem to understand consequences to her actions
Can become obsessed with things. Last week it was moths.
Doesn't listen to me
Highly emotional
Cries ALOT
really clumbsy, always tripping/hurting herself
and a few other things that I forget now.

Her behaviour creates an anxiety in me, it's exhausting and mentally draining to live with. I'm naturally a pretty peaceful person and find it so hard to deal with her. I just want foru s all to be happy, especially her. Sorry, this had turned more into a vent/whinge than anything.

I would lvoe to hear from people who's have got to this point where your starting to think "I need help"

Anni xx (sorry for the typo's, was trying to type it too fast while the kids were distracted with snacks for a few mins)

This post has been edited by wca: 26/11/2012, 01:20 PM

[baddmammajamma]

Hi Anni:

I've actually *just* bumped a thread about this very topic (the importance of trusting your gut & following up re concerns about your child):

http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/forums/ind...;#entry15109427

You can also clink on the link in my signature to see why I am so passionate about this topic.

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling so much with your daughter and that your concerns have been blown off by the medical professionals you've seen thus far.

I have a daughter who "has a lot of stuff going on" (ASD, ADHD, giftedness), yet if people only see her for one part of the day, they might not believe that she is as complicated as she is.

What has really been a lifesaver for me is having the guidance and direction from qualified professionals. I strongly recommend that you ask your GP for two referrals: (1) to a good developmental paediatrician, not a generalist one. These are specialist paeds who are experts in child development. They look across ALL aspects of your child's developmental profile - medical, cognitive, social, emotional -- to see if there are any issues or potential issues (2) a good child psychologist or behavioral specialist who can help you and your daughter develop better strategies for mitigating her challenging behavior. Often, you will see psychs and developmental paeds working in concert to address a child's needs.

Developmental paeds almost always have long waiting lists because the supply is far exceeded by demands. So, if possible, get to your GP as soon as possible -- and go ahead and book that appointment with the developmental paed before they close their books/offices for the holidays. I don't know where you live, but depending on the area, there might be some mums here who can offer recommendations (I have some great names in Sydney). The parents on the Special Needs/Disabilities board are often great resources for professionals. You might have better luck getting in to see a psychologist first -- so go ahead and get that ball rolling.

Good luck! As daunting as I thought the assessment processes would be, it is much better having answers about my daughter and some direction, rather than feeling in the dark and overwhelmed.

[ednaboo]

Hi, just a quick reply as I should be cooking dinner (!). My DS has just been diagnosed with ADHD. The MCHN never noticed any issues (but she only ever saw him for short periods), and his 1st two teachers thought he was just troublesome. He has been a challenging kid right from toddlerhood. Because he was my first I figured he was at the outer end of the normal spectrum. It was when a more experienced teacher identified that he was not doing as well as he should be at school that we decided to get an assessment. As the PP said, you need someone experienced to work this stuff out. You need someone who can be objective, and is familiar with the different issues that may be at play. We chose to have him assessed by a (private) neuropsychologist. You don't need a GP referral to see a psychologist. Good luck!

[kabailz13]

I have no advice but you described my 4yr to the letter!

She is extremely oppositional and regularly whacks her siblings (and kids at daycare) for no apparent reason.

Let us know how you get on