[MarilynM]

Hi ladies, just wanted to share something with you.
I am almost 12 weeks pregnant, and I am getting the idea that some of my friendships are changing. I had dinner with a friend on Friday and somehow it felt a little bit awkward. I don't talk about my pregnancy a lot, because I understand that it is probably not as exciting for other people as it is for me. But I don't think this friend asked me ANY questions about it at all! It was like nothing had happened. I considered this friend my best friend, but now I don't know if that might change.

I reallydon't expect constant cooing, but it would be nice if she showed some interest; it is a major thing that is happening to me right now! I don't know if she is just not interested, or if she has difficulty adjusting to this new position I'm in, or who knows maybe she's jealous. But I don't have a lot of friends here (the past four years I've gone back and forth between here and Europe, where I was born) so I really valued her friendship.

Another 'new' friend who lives a single girl life shocked me too the other day. I showed her a photo from a phone app, of how my baby looked that week, and her reply was 'ew...... Are you going to show me this every week now?'I feel a bit lonely, not being able to share this with my girlfriends. I do have friends that I can talk to, but it does make me sad that some friendships seem to change when I need their support the most.

Anyone experienced a similar thing?

This post has been edited by MarilynM: 25/11/2012, 09:38 PM

[little lion]

Sorry to hear that. Tonight I have been feeling a little sad in a similar way. I just realized a friend of mine had not seen me pregnant and despite an invitation she hasn't visited our baby yet. I know she is busy with something exciting in her life, and from afar I have shown my support, but I am upset she hasn't shown an interest in my baby (especially since she is a mum too). So no advice from me, just understanding.

[cinnabubble]

I think it's pretty standard for childfree people not to be into pregnancy and babies. Before I had children I was all yuck, why would you want to ruin your life by doing that, it's revolting. I think pregnancy is intrinsically boring to those who haven't experienced it.

Since having children, I have accepted that my path has diverged from those of my childfree friends. You tend to make friends based on the stage of life you're at, so expect to make parent friends soon.

[dakotaskys]

Funny you should mention that, I am about 7 weeks preg and have a bit of a belly now (bloating I am sure) and I had my so called best friend comment on my belly and then go onto say "your a$$ is getting fat too, I bet it's a boy" (I am size 8-10)
I am thinking of giving up this friendship, my a$$ doesn't look any different to me and at 7 weeks its doubtful there would be such a change to warrant such a cruel remark. All I can think about now is wanting to loose weight on account of my so called fat a$$

[babyinabackpack]

I found this aswell early on with my pregnancy, and until about week 16 found pregnancy to be a very lonely experience for that reason. However, I have since found some lovely new friendships with other mums-to-be.. something I NEVER would have thought myself doing and am much happier now. I have also found that since have my mums-to-be friends to talk and share baby with, that I have been able to regain my prior friendships, just with less expectations from them. As my pregnancy has progressed I have found that for the most part things have improved and the have started to show an interest. According to them, they were afraid that it was going to change the friendship so they didn't want to hear about it.. If that makes sense. Now they are more comfortable with it.
Good luck!

[MarilynM]

Thanks little lion and cinnabubble.

I guess it's inevitable that friendships change, but it's a bit sad as well. I hope it'll feel different once I meet people who are in the same stage of life. I'll start pregnancy yoga soon, hopefully I can meet some new people through that.

[WibbleWobble]

I think it's pretty standard for childfree people not to be into pregnancy and babies. Before I had children I was all yuck, why would you want to ruin your life by doing that, it's revolting. I think pregnancy is intrinsically boring to those who haven't experienced it.

Since having children, I have accepted that my path has diverged from those of my childfree friends. You tend to make friends based on the stage of life you're at, so expect to make parent friends soon.

This. Some friendships will wax and wane through out your life, depending on where you are both at. Some will just slowly fade away.

You may also find that the people you least expect it from take the most interest in your pregnancy, and make some new friends.

One of my friends when I sent an email announcement didn't even reply. The next time I saw her all she said was "where's the baby going to sleep". I think that was the only comment she made for my whole pregnancy. She is pretty self absorbed at the best of times, so I expected it from her.

[MarilynM]

Wow dakotaskys, that sounds very harsh for a friend to say something like that! Probably good to get some distance from her, and please don't worry about your bum! There's other things to focus your attention and energy on.

Babyinabackpack, that is very consoling to hear, and it makes sense. I hope I'll find a similar set up.
xx

[kez71]

maybe she is taking her cues from you. You said you don't talk about it much, so maybe she doesn't think you want to talk about it.
My bestie was super quiet about my pregnancy announcment too and never asked questions, not even when i told her we were doing IVF. But I saw her yesterday (im almost 21 weeks) and she says shes soo excited about our baby and has already started shopping, she was talking to my belly etc. So I don't know what the deal was early on. My advise is to bring it up occasionally and see what happens. Failing that, find some friends who are also expecting..one of my other friends is a few weeks behind me and its fun talking to her about it all!

[dakotaskys]

Wow dakotaskys, that sounds very harsh for a friend to say something like that! Probably good to get some distance from her, and please don't worry about your bum! There's other things to focus your attention and energy on.

Yes it was very harsh! I expected a haha or something but nope it didn't happen. I am going to get as much distance from her as I can don't you worry! I really don't need to be made to feel bad about my weight. Especially so early into a pregnancy when my clothes still fit.
Best of luck with your friendships. Xxx