[secret~sammy]

There is a bit of a baby boom going on in my family - my sister is also pregnant with her first, about a month behind me. I’m really happy for her and I Iove the idea of cousins so close in age.

While she’s my sister and I Iove her we’re not that close and we’re really different personality wise. I don’t like having parties, or being the centre of attention, or feeling like I’m asking people for things - She adores parties and attention and has been talking about her baby shower since about 6 weeks pregnant (which was before she knew I was too). The other big difference is that DP and I um’d and ah’d about whether we would have kids at all and then when we decided to try we fell pregnant pretty quickly; where as having a baby has been the focus of her life for quite a while now.

All other things being equal I wouldn’t have a baby shower for myself but I’m worried that if I don’t have something then her shower will become, by default, one for both of us in the eyes of the aunts/cousins/family friends and not the special day for her she’s been dreaming about. I had a dream the other night that I gave birth the morning of her shower and had to beg DP not to call and tell anyone before it had ended so I didn’t ‘steal her thunder’.

My SIL has offered to throw me a shower, or just a low key BBQ, basically whatever I want and I don’t know what to do. WWYD if you were me?

<EFS>

This post has been edited by secret~sammy: 24/11/2012, 04:50 PM

[Escapin]

I think something low key for you so you don't end up 'sharing' your sister's party is the way to go. You never know, you might have fun

[lamarque]

If I were you, I'd take your SIL up on her lovely offer. That way you're not the host (I hate throwing parties for myself and didn't have a shower for this reason) and you will please your cousins, aunties etc.

[baddmammajamma]

Sounds like a lovely gesture by your SIL. If you are honest with her about what type of event YOU would enjoy most (laid back, surrounded by people you care about, no bright spot light on you), you might end up enjoying yourself.

[howdo]

I would take SIL up on her offer.

[Mumof1B2G]

Take SIL up on the offer of a low key event....

[dogged]

I know your sister is behind you but would it be feasible to take your SIL up on her offer, but have your shower AFTER that of your sister? That way she can make a huge fuss and love every second of it, and yours can follow and be much more low key as is your preference.

[whale-woman]

Take her up on it. I didn't want a baby's shower but people at my work threw one anyways and it was actually very nice.

[duckasorus]

Why not just have a BBQ with a few pink amd blue balloons?

That way you have done something but not?

[i-candi]

You sound like me, I never had a baby shower.

I'd tell her no you don't want one and tell everyone (except SIL) that you won't be going to the baby shower then turn up. So it will be all about your SIL (ie no presents for you). All will be happy then.