[ekbaby]

It's that time of year when there are a lot of birthday/party/end of year event invitations. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by the amount of things we have scheduled.

Obviously there are times when you are invited to two things on the same time/day- in those situations I go to the person who invited me first, and send my apologies for the other.

Do you ever decline invitations when you don't necessarily have something clashing though, just because that might be the only free time you have in a week? Or because you know your kids are going to be exhausted if you take them to 5 things in one weekend?

Eg one day we have been invited to a morning, midday and early evening thing- it's technically possible to go to all three, but would be an exhausting day running from one thing to the next, DS2 would just have a micro-sleep in the car and then be really cranky by the 4pm thing... [I am not normally too fussy about my kids sleep but usually when it's just one thing, you can compensate in other areas... eg they don't have a day sleep, but you can put them to bed early, etc]

[I'm probably a bit more stressed than usual as it's also an incredibly busy time with DP's work so she literally sees the kids about 1-2 times a week at the moment and we really need a little bit of "down time" for her to reconnect with them on her one day off, plus do all the stuff around the house that builds up during the week]

I don't want to dissapoint anyone, because I know how dissapointing it can be if you organise a party for your child and not many people turn up, and I want their child to have a happy day. At the same time sometimes I think the tradition is to invite everyone from the playgroup/mothers group etc- so that no-one feels left out and that everyone is welcome- but the hosts are not necessarily expecting everyone to come (eg a group email sent out or everyone on facebook invited). I know for example when my DS1 was younger I would tend to either invite no-one or everyone from a playgroup, for this reason, but generally only about 1/2 the people would come.

Can anyone give some tips as to what the etiquette is here? Obviously leaving people hanging with no RSVP and then "dumping" someone's party for "something better" would be a big no. Is it ok to decline things when you don't technically have a clash, but are already committed to a couple of things that weekend and need to squeeze in some other jobs [Christmas shopping etc] ? Or is that rude ? Does it depend on how well you know the person, type of invite, type of event etc?

[Bam1]

To me its pretty simple, I try to go to everything I can for the kids but there is a limit. If for whatever reason (too busy, too much etc) its not possible to go, I RSVP that we can't go.

I'm with Ferdinand as well, time is so limited on the weekends and if 2 events clash, I will choose the one that the family will enjoy more (unless its a family event)

This post has been edited by Bam1: 22/11/2012, 09:00 AM

[SeaPrincess]

I think it depends on how important the event is, whether that be the occasion, the person/people, whether the whole family is involved or whether we can divide and conquer..... So many things to consider.

For us, birthdays at this time of year are very important - we have a December birthday, so I'm conscious of that and if anyone is invited to a birthday party, I will take them, but if we were all invited to 3 things on one day, we'd probably not do them all. I'm not afraid of sending DH off to something without me though, so we might do that.

Most important is to let them know though.

[SeaPrincess]

Double post.

This post has been edited by shmach: 22/11/2012, 09:02 AM

[zogee]

I wouldn't be taking my kids to 3 events in one day, it would guarantee a meltdown (from them and me!) I usually try to take dd to friends birthdays if possible but if it clashes with something important that I have planned I might say no.
You sound like a very considerate person but its ok to put limits on socializing and prioritise family time (and chill out time!)

[lifehacker]

I think it depends on how important the event is, whether that be the occasion, the person/people, whether the whole family is involved or whether we can divide and conquer..... So many things to consider.

For us, birthdays at this time of year are very important - we have a December birthday, so I'm conscious of that and if anyone is invited to a birthday party, I will take them, but if we were all invited to 3 things on one day, we'd probably not do them all. I'm not afraid of sending DH off to something without me though, so we might do that.

Most important is to let them know though.

This. I have 4 children with birthdays in December so I am conscious of that. We also divide and conquer. We will often sit down and work out : "okay if you take dd to the party and on the way drop ds at basketball, then I will take so and so and so and so to their party and to the school picnic" etc then we all meet up at the end of the day completely exhausted.

[ekbaby]

Ok so if you can't go to something "just because" what do you tell the host?

schmach I know what you mean about December birthdays... almost all of one side of our family has Dec birthdays (which adds to the things, but then I also know what it's like for the kids who want to have parties then, so feel bad for the little kids we know who have birthdays now)

[aprilrain]

It depends, if 2 children from the same class on the one day I would try to go to both. If we don't go I would have RSVP'd and I send a gift. I know most people probably wouldn't think it necessary, but I like to.

I think a balance is important with family life and saying you're already committed is fine.

It would depend on how well my child knows the inviter and if your D1 is in primary I would take invites more seriously as it is an opportunity to meet parents that you might like to get to know better too, as well as I think friends and friendship groups mean more to children at this age.

For a primary child I would be happy to ask another parent to take my child with her's if I had a sleeper. Friends do these things for each other

edited for my shocking spelling and now realise that my smiling face at the end is 'rolling eyes'!

This post has been edited by aprilrain: 22/11/2012, 09:15 AM

[vintage.blue]

I try to go to everything, but also try to limit outings on the weekend to just one. We need down time too!

Saying that though, my sons at the moment have SEVEN invitations to parties in the next 3 weeks. Just in time for me to have our third baby!?! argh. We are going to try to get to them all just so they don't miss out.

[Cacti]

Ok so if you can't go to something "just because" what do you tell the host?

"Sorry, we can't make it. Hope you have a fun day!"