[~katiez~]

I have a healthy, fully breastfed (+BLW solids) DD. Her sleeping isn't amazing but is by no means terrible - we go down at about 7:30pm at night and wake at about 6:30am in the morning with 1-2 feeds in there. Occasionally we have 'party nights' where I can't get her back to sleep or we're up more than that but they are the exception not the rule. Day sleep isn't great, never has been, but it's getting better and is functional.

We can't self settle to sleep though. She has always been quite hard to settle, even as a very tiny newborn. We used to have 3,4, even 5 'false starts' before she was down at night and have therefore always put her down asleep. I have done a lot of feeding to sleeping and rocking to sleep, she will fall asleep in car, or pram. But in the cot - if I put her in awake, she'll chat for a bit and then squwark!

How do I teach her to fall asleep on her own? I don't believe in cry it out or any of its 'controlled comforting' cousins, so how have YOU done it gently? I've read the No Cry sleep solution but wanted some peoples own methods....

Thanks in advance

Also going to post this in sleeping, hope that's okay mods

[elle-M]

My DD is 9 months and I am wondering the same thing so will be watching this with interest. The thing I find the hardest is trying to do anything during the night when I'm so tired. It's so much easier just to feed to sleep or rock back to sleep with a dummy. Otherwise I'm getting up and down all the time. Maybe when I'm not 11 weeks pregnant with a 9 month old and 2 year old I'll have more energy to try Haha and by then they'll be 10.

[Lorikant]

I too a am very interested in this for the last 8 months mummy puts dd to bed EVERY night and for her naps, as she is EBF as well and nurses to sleep for naps and night sleeps. I attempted to separate feeding and sleep yesterday's and got an hour and half of screaming hysterically so I gave up. I guess it's just persistence but I'd really like to start going to the gym or out for a walk with the dog alone without having to rush home for nap or sleep time :-) I hope that doesn't make me sound selfish ;-)

[IVF Baby]

We used aspects of the Save Our Sleep routines and it worked super well for us. Basically it was a soft form of controlled crying, where you time them before you go in and listen for escalation points in their crying. I went hard though and cleared my schedule for 2 weeks and stayed home to ensure he was always in his cot at the routine times etc. I found the Love me Baby wrap also helped my son, he loves sleeping in it. Putting him to bed is an all of 2 minute job and he puts himself to sleep, no rocking or an hour etc. I know this book cops some flack, but the combination of routine worked. I foudn the dream feed amazingly helpful too. Good luck girls

[AdelTwins]

What's your current nighttime routine? Bath, stories, etc.

I have one amazing sleeper and one "motion sleeper". They have lived the through the same experiences and have the same parents... But, they are different kids with different personalities. Sometimes it's a guessing game to see what works with each one of them.

[PurpleNess]

Are you seeing her tired signs?
Also do you have a bedtime routine?
We started introducing a routine at this age and it really really helped, we still do it & DS is nearly 1.

5pm Dinner
6pm Bath
6.30 Bottle
63.0-7 - reading & cuddles
7 Into sleeping bag ( or swaddle if still using) and into bed.

We also introduced a cuddly toy at this age, DS LOVES his bear & he strokes it & sucks on its ears for comfort.

We would use a fit ball & bounce instead of rock - easier on my back :-) & pay very very close attention the DS's breathing. When it slowed right down but he was still away we would transfer to the cot & continue to pat his chest & SHHHH until he nodded off. Did the same thing for resettles, trying not to pick him up.
Over time we were able to transfer him into bed awake, say goodnight sleep tight & leave the room, not a peep :-)
Also start using verbal cues to let bub know when it's bed time, such as if rubbing eyes during reading say "yes bub I can see you are tired, 2 more books then into bed" etc.
Be consistent and it will start to pay off for you.

I'm not an advocate in CC in any form either & found this works for us. With every resettle, stay calm, lay bub down ( if sitting at all), pat shhhusshh, give dummy/bear etc and persist...it's hard I know.

PM me if you want to chat anytime, it wasn't that long ago I was you!

[sophiasmum]

PPs have offered some good gentle solutions.

But I'm just gonna say it. We did a tough week with DD2 when she was 5 mths teaching her to self settle, but we came out the other end better for it.

[~katiez~]

Thanks ladies. We do have an evening routine, not set by a clock though (but always in a similar time frame with bed at about 7:15-8 every night) - dinner together as a family, bath/shower, book, boob, bed. We have 'sleepy words' that we use "Time for a shower sweetheart and then we'll read a boom then sleepy times", "Okay darling, mummy is going to feed you then sleepy times"... you get my drift. When she was a small baby she didn't have tired signs, now she does and they are quite obvious, but as she's a fairly cruddy day sleeper, by night time she's always tired.

Actually since I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago, we have actually had some progress. I have been putting her down at night semi-awake and she's put herself to sleep and likewise through the night too. Days - definitely not! But we'll get there! I havent really done anything different so I think I've come to the opinion that when babies are biologically ready they will do it.

Thank you for all of the good suggestions.

PS One thing I am going to do is choose one or two books that are just before sleep times as another gentle sleep cue. Pinky McKay made this suggestion and I think it's a great one!

[PurpleNess]

Yep OP we have a bedtime book, it's the last book we read every night before bed, a great cue. Glad things are progressing. Be warned though they can have a few upsets in the coming months with mental leaps but just keep doing what you are doing.

[littlesticky]

Actually since I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago, we have actually had some progress. I have been putting her down at night semi-awake and she's put herself to sleep and likewise through the night too. Days - definitely not! But we'll get there! I havent really done anything different so I think I've come to the opinion that when babies are biologically ready they will do it.

I'm so glad to read that. My bub is 6 months and you could have been describing my baby. All the sleeping improvements we've had since newborn she's done in her own time, but I can't help worrying about her getting dependent on things.

I hope she's continued to self settle for you