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> How to break into a playgroup clique

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kiwimum2b
post 19/11/2012, 12:22 PM
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Trying to meet new ppl and make friends in a new(ish) area..we've lived here for 8 months and have been building so pretty preoccupied with that.Thought its about time to get into a playgroup. Went to the open day, 1 person talked to me. Went to playgroup today and its very cliquey..I tried to make conversation, and 2 mums talked to me but as soon as they answered my question they went back into the group(who were all in a little circle on the verandah..)Everyone just ignored me, so I left.So, any ideas on how to break into a very cliquey playgroup, or do I stand no chance??
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AdelTwins
post 19/11/2012, 12:44 PM
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It would depend on how long the group has been together. A newer group would be easier to join.

Bring a yummy home made cake next time and see what happens!

Also, ask lots of questions about the other children - people love to brag about their kids.
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Ally'smum
post 19/11/2012, 12:48 PM
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This is what scares me about joining a playgroup!
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fran123
post 19/11/2012, 12:52 PM
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Find one mum you click with the most and invite her over for a coffee at yours. That might get the ball rolling.

Keep going and going until they get used to you being there and they accept that you are remaining a part of the group. Might be hard at first but I suspect it will get easier.

Definitely bring something yummy for them to eat.

If that doesn't work find another group. Don't give up, it is sooooo worth having connections in your neighbourhood.

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CCABW
post 19/11/2012, 12:53 PM
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I'd try another playgroup, OP. They are not all like that.
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qak
post 19/11/2012, 12:54 PM
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It helps to go to a playgroup some one else you know goes to. If there are a number of kids at the older age range (about to go to school) then the dynamics will change as those kids/parents go to school. Some groups are just cliquey, or are all parents that already knew each other before the group started.

I guess my tip is - find who the co-ordinator is and ask to be introduced to others.
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Miss S
post 19/11/2012, 12:59 PM
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I am in the same boat kiwimum2b, I took DD to a playgroup and the only person that really spoke to me was the lady running the group and I even had one woman look me up and down and turn her back on me ohmy.gif needless to say we never went back there.
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dejoey
post 19/11/2012, 01:00 PM
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I've just done this. I went against my normal tendancy to be shy, and just walked up to the huddle and joined in the conversation. It was hard at first. Ask if there is a FB page for the group (mine has one and it is for organising who will be doing what that week), ask if there is a roster ie cleaning, bringing the milk for coffee, doing an activity etc and say you are keen to go on the roster. When your child is interacting with the other kids, play with them (if their child thinks you are OK they will too) HTH
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tothebeach
post 19/11/2012, 01:00 PM
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I went to an established playgroup where I knew nobody. I just kept talking to people and asking questions about their lives. And I kept going week after week. Eventually I became one of the 'clique' as I had been for a while and everyone knew me and knew lots about me.
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CocobeanLillylov...
post 19/11/2012, 01:09 PM
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Just go and sit with all the ladies in the huddle. Just listen and chime in when you can. Just don't be afraid to pull up a chair next to everyone. I am in a Playgroup and we have been together for almost 4 years and have been through a lot together. We sometimes get new people and some have become part of the group and some have left. Our group is on a Friday - we are all tired, usually frazzled and just want to relax. We all make an effort to say hello to the new people and ask a question or two then it is up to the new person to just join in. The ones who just pull up a seat next to us all are the ones that have the most success. I know it can be daunting but just give it a few weeks.
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