[MissButtercup]

Hi there,

We're expecting a prem bub (due to IUGR) any day now and I've been thinking (probably over thinking too) what this is going to mean etc for us. One concern I have at the moment is we have a few family members that are smokers and I don't really want bub to be exposed to it, especially in the early days. Apart from being a prem we also have athsma in the family so I guess this is why it's playing on my mind.

So my questions are - am I overreacting? How do we tell these family members (one being the MIL, which will be precious I am sure and everything will be because I am just a horrible person) and what should we tell them, eg no touching/going near bub or not until 2-3 hours after smoking??

This post has been edited by MissButtercup: 19/11/2012, 12:19 PM

[BabyZ]

If your bub is prem due to IUGR then he/she will most likely be in the NICU at first. There are strict policies on who can visit and cleanliness whilst in the NICU, so everybody has to adhere to these rules.

Just tell your MIL that it's hospital policy and that you need to keep it up when bub comes home. Remember that the safety of your bub comes first, MIL will get over it eventually.

[MissButtercup]

Thanks flylikeabutterfly. I spoke to one of the midwives today during my monitoring about hospital policy about all this and she said she was going to speak to the other midwives to see what they could come up with to try help out so I am not stressing about it. Yes we're expecting bub to be in the SCN to start with and only two visitors are allowed at a time so might have to stretch the truth about smoking/handling bub too..

I think I'll ask that either myself or DH be present for any visitors for bub too, no one is to see him/her without us there.

This post has been edited by MissButtercup: 19/11/2012, 01:09 PM

[Natttmumm]

I think your plan is good - no visitors without you there unless oked by you first.

You can always say noone allowed to hold the bub.

if they dont understand then too bad

[twinboys]

When one of my boys was in hospital with a chest infection - we were next to a baby in an O2 tent and the baby's mum was a smoker.
The nurses ripped shreds into her for smoking and then exposing her baby to the fumes.
What they insisted her to do was to wear a 'smoking jacket' This was to be worn over her clothes when she smoked outside and then this was to be taken off when coming inside so that her regular clothes were smoke free.
She also had to wash her hands thoroughly.

Maybe you could ask for this to be done?

[zaacaa]

With SCN bubs there usually has to be either parent present with one visitor, they dont allow just grandparents etc to visit alone, so you will be able to make sure that MIL doesnt touch bub if shes hasnt washed her hands etc.

DS was prem and I was just a nazi about it, no touching unless you had washed your hands, no kissing unless brushed teeth (for the smokers), and none of the visitors when we came home were allowed anywhere near him if they had so much as a sniffle. One of his cousins was quite upset but honestly my baby's health came first. They got over it and understood where I was coming from.

[BJBubbles]

Maybe try and find some medical information on the effects of second had smoke (especially from clothes/skin) on new borns and emphasise the fact that your little one is prem, that it's even more important. I would be asking her to not smoke in the clothes she is wearing when she see's bub.

If she doesn't really understand that and think it will be fine, then I think twinboys has a great suggestion regarding the "smoking jacket".

THEN, If MIL can't understand that and do what she can to help protect her grandchild, then I would happy tell her she can't see your baby until she does!

Good Luck! I hope everything goes well and your baby is healthy and strong soon!
xox

[MissButtercup]

Thanks everyone, I hate having to be the ogre with all this sort if stuff but DH is to soft to tell his mother and they are just too selfish to see it themselves... sad really.

Twinboys I am gobsmscked at that mother....

[Koobie83]

I know what you are going through. My parents smoke too and they have been told by my mid wife to wear other clothes and to wash their hands before handling the baby. My mum gets it more than Dad. Dad is happy to smoke around me. He even started up his motorbike in a non ventilated garage around me. It drives me mad. They lived in a different world where kids had to adapt to you rather than the other way around. Mum smoked with me and my sister with both pregnancies so she seems to think its more benign then they make out. I'm just going to be tough with them about it. No cuddles or baby sitting until you've quit smoking (I wish) or something equally tough. Good luck!

[BBV]

My dad is a smoker so following this with interest