[emnut]

SIL is one of many affected by the changes to the parenting payment. As a result she is planning on quitting her study that she has one year of a 4 year degree left to do since financially she just can't do it. DH & I have decided that we would love to see her finish her degree as that would give her & her two children a far better future. PIL would also like to help her but don't have the funds to whereas we do.

We have decided that we would like to offer to somehow provide enough funds to help her through, maybe by covering some of her rent or utility bills or something for the year. We are happy to give her the money outright but know that she won't accept that. So we are essentially looking to loan it to her without any expectation that it will be repaid, but having said that if she wanted it set up in a way where it was to be repaid when she is working we would do that too.. Our only expectation for her would be that she finish the degree.

How would you approach this without causing offence to her or making her feel inadequate as we know she is very upset by the whole scenario?

[idignantlyright]

I would probably just sit down and discuss it straight out. Then tell her if she feels bad about you paying the money, then she can babysit or something when she has the time. Just let her know there are no expectations or anything.

You and your DH are wonderfull people.

[Cherish]

If you could afford it can you pay/loan her what she will lose in parenting payment? That way things can continue on for her as they have been. Might be easier for her and you?

What a generous thing for you and your husband to do, heart warming op

Could you simply sit down with her and say 'dh and I would really love to see you complete your studies. We would like to offer you some assistance by providing xyz. We hope you aren't offended but we think you've worked too hard to just have to give up now.

[MrsW87]

I would just say everything you have just said. Tell her you don't want to offend, but are happy to help. Perhaps say your PIL are in on it too, even if they cant afford it as she might be more likely to accept if it is from all of you?

How lovely OP, that's an amazing gesture

[AllegraM]

That is lovely Op.

I would dscuss it frankly and also try to mention examples of where you and your DH may have accepted much-needed help in difficult times.

[Lalliana]

What a wonderful thing you are doing, she is so lucky to have such an amazing family. I would sit down and tell her exactly what you have just told us. I don't think she would be at all offended, she has worked hard and you are simply offering to help her finish what she started.

[Chelli]

That is such a lovely thing to do

[cantthinkofone]

That sounds like a great thing to do.

I don't know too much about centrelink payments or your sister in laws situation but could she go onto newstart?

[ILBB]

What a lovely thing to do OP - good on you!

[LynnyP]

It sounds wonderful of you. I would be upfront with her. Maybe you could say you were going to buy her something big when she graduated and now you would prefer to spend the money to enable her to graduate?

Can't she work part time and study part time? It doesn't have to mean not completing her degree. I worked full time, studied part time while having children and most of the women I was friendly with at university did the same? Quite a few were single mothers too?