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Losing my 4th baby, *update..good news today.

ihope82 View Member Profile	17/11/2012, 09:52 AM Post #1
Posts: 681 Joined: 23-September 08
Regular Member
Just started bleeding today after positive blood test but low hcg .... my Third IVF miscarriage...after losing my beautiful girl at birth to anencephaly....how much more do I have to go through?? I'm so angry...at no one and everyone I'm hurting so much.... I have only just stopped wailing...dh took DS into the backyard so he couldn't hear me...that hurts too...I feel like a freakshow. The physical pain is getting worse by the minute.,,and my head is pounding like hell. I wish someone or something could just knock me out...I don't want to feel anything, I don't want to see anyone, do anything, be anything. I don't want to get out of bed but I don't want to lay here awake.. It's not fair Update: Now ( Sunday) the cramping has stopped, I just feel uncomfortable - and nauseous. There's been no more bleeding...could it possibly mean they're wrong? Another blood test to check HCG level...but not willing to get my hopes up. Hate just waiting, it's torture.. This post has been edited by ihope82: 23/11/2012, 01:21 PM

jai* View Member Profile	17/11/2012, 09:56 AM Post #2
Posts: 437 Joined: 29-April 07 From: Sydney
Member
I'm so sorry. Do you have anyone to talk to IRL to help you get through this tough time?

Eirinn View Member Profile	17/11/2012, 10:00 AM Post #3
Posts: 2,635 Joined: 3-February 10
Advanced Member
Oh my darling that is awful, I am so sorry. You are not a freakshow, your grief and pain are normal reactions, and the fact that you are still thinking of your son in the midst of all of it shows what a wonderful mother you are. It's not fair - at all - but you are not a freak and you are not alone. There are unfortunately plenty of women who know that bad, devastating things happen to good people. Thinking of you

beaglebaby View Member Profile	17/11/2012, 10:08 AM Post #4
Posts: 2,907 Joined: 14-January 08
Advanced Member
I'm so sorry. Let your husband take DS out for a while and give yourself time. Your feelings and emotions are totally understandable. If you aren't coping though please call the counsellor from your clinic. hugs.

Lib View Member Profile	17/11/2012, 10:21 AM Post #5
Posts: 7,449 Joined: 22-August 05
Loving my little princess.....
I am sure that you are not a freakshow. You are human, and your reaction is perfectly human. I am sorry you have to be doing this Take care of yourself and do whatever you need to do to get through it.

Riotproof View Member Profile	17/11/2012, 10:28 AM Post #6
Posts: 6,679 Joined: 21-June 09
+
ihope, I'm so sorry.

kiwi-girl View Member Profile	17/11/2012, 10:50 AM Post #7
Posts: 350 Joined: 11-November 10
Member
I am really sorry that you are going through this. I remember after my MC that I just wanted to shut down and hide away from everything. Do whatever you need to do to get through.

librablonde View Member Profile	17/11/2012, 11:16 AM Post #8
Posts: 2,184 Joined: 23-November 09
Advanced Member
What a terrible, ghastly time. Your feelings are completely understandable, I don't know how I'd cope with all that. I'm so very sorry, OP

Sunnycat View Member Profile	17/11/2012, 11:23 AM Post #9
Posts: 9,221 Joined: 9-October 09
If a cat doesn't like you, then what's wrong with you?
Oh ihope82 I am so, so sorry for your loss and your pain.

Gembac8019 View Member Profile	17/11/2012, 12:03 PM Post #10
Posts: 487 Joined: 30-June 12
Member
I'm so sorry for your loss op. Please be gentle on yourself.

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