[Betty_D]

DH and I are planning number two and have decided to start TTC next month. We're keen on a 2-3 yr gap between kids.


If all goes well (and trust me, I'm well aware that it often doesn't) I will be 14 weeks pregnant at my BIL's wedding. Given it's my second pregnancy, I'm sure I'll pop a lot sooner, so I doubt that I'd be able to keep it under wraps by that point.

I didn't foresee any issues with this, until my MIL came over yesterday and, in the context of another discussion about someone else, made the following comment:

"I hate it when people steal other people's thunder. It would be like you and DH getting pregnant before or after BIL's wedding. You just don't do that!"

I think I went a little pale, because that's exactly what we're planning on doing. I never thought of it in that way. Their wedding is a wonderful, family celebration and I would hate to think that anyone, particularly the bride and groom, would think of us as stealing the focus away from them.

So, my questions are:

Am I being selfish?

If yes, how long should we wait so we're not "stealing the limelight"?

Or, is this just hogwash and we should conceive when WE want to?

[mpjp]

OMG how utterly ridiculous. I've never heard anyone say anything like that. Plus, being your second, and only 14 weeks (good planning by the way) you may find there is not as much fuss anyway! I assumee you are not going to get up and make some huge announcement at the wedding? I'd ignore her...

[bye]

Or, is this just hogwash and we should conceive when WE want to?

This. Some people overthink it. There's no need to synchronise everyones' lives!

[bakesgirls]

You're not being selfish. Your MIL on the other hand sounds like a twit.

I personally would take issue with someone else telling me and my DH when it would be OK to fall pregnant. It happens when it happens. It doesn't happen to anyone else schedule, and I wouldn't hold off just to fit into somebody else idea of when it would be a good time for us to concieve. The decision doesn't involve them.

So yes, your MIL's idea is hogwash. Good luck

[His Boy Elroy]

What a load of cr@p.

Giving birth at the wedding however would be stealing their thunder.

[Propaganda]

I think you'd only be being rude and stealing the thunder if you announced it at their wedding.

[HollyOllyOxenfre...]

Just TTC when it works for you. I think unless you plan on giving a wedding speech that is all about your pregnancy, it's just a non issue

When I got pregnant with DS, it turned out that I would be 12 weeks the weekend of my sister's wedding. I was a bit worried about stealing her thunder, particularly as we've had some issues in the past around weddings and family stuff, but it was all good. We ended up telling close family at about 10 weeks once we'd seen a heartbeat and just got them to stay quiet until 12 weeks. I got lots of congratulations at the wedding, but it certainly wasn't a matter of stealing her thunder - in fact she mentioned it to a few of her friends at the wedding because she was excited about becoming an aunty!

If it were me I'd just try to tell your BIL as early as you're comfortable, and maybe other family who will be involved with the wedding.

Good luck with your TTC journey

This post has been edited by HollyOllyOxenfree: 16/11/2012, 11:02 AM

[Old Grey Mare]

I think you and your MIL need to go to Control Freaks Anonymous - you are both getting waaaaaaaaaaay ahead of yourselves here.

[missy78]

Uh, that is ridiculous. I would also assume you aren't planning on making a huge announcement at the wedding.

[Velouria]

I feel sad that this is something you even have to worry about! Whilst her comment is ludicrous I can understand you mulling over it. Please don't let it affect your plans - maybe do the old 'why would you say something like that?' line next time she cracks out another helpful remark.