[Mung bean]

I was thinking today about how much my DS has grown and what a journey it has been. I found myself reflecting on parenting styles and how much they can change.

For example, to begin with I was very narrow in my thinking and believed there was one optimum way to parent, which for me was attachment style parenting.

Now TBH I still love the ideologies around attachment parenting BUT I believe there are also other ways to do things, and at the end of the day as long as your child is loved and cared for then that is the main thing, and there are many ways to achieve this.

I would defiantly say I'm far less judgemental now with a toddler than when I was trying to be perfect first time Mum. I also find I care a lot less about the politics of parenting.

The main parenting style that changed for me, *puts on flame suit* was that I ended up doing sleep training with my DS at 16 months. I always said I wouldn't, in fact I was outwardly against it, but in the end the sleep deprivation and importance of my studies took over. Not to mention the strain it was having on the whole family.

So have you found yourself parenting in a completely different way than you expected, maybe from pregnancy or later down the track?

Look forward to hearing your replies

[PurpleWitch]

Oh hell yes.

And the more children I have, the more I change.

Some things I just don't bend on though, my ideals are the same but you learn to pick your battles.

That's why I LOL when people say "When I have kids, they;ll never do xyz"

Yeah. Right.

[BadCat]

Well I had a few ideas before they were born but essentially no, I haven't really changed styles along the way. I started out laid back and I stayed that way.

I could never be bothered with the perfect way to parent. I just make it up as I go along.

This post has been edited by BadCat: 15/11/2012, 07:08 PM

[Mung bean]

I agree, there are some fundamental things that haven't changed for me and other things that I used to care about, that I no longer give a one toss about.

So often now I'm seeing different debates or judgements on pro this and pro that pages on FB (parenting related) and I just roll my eyes and how militant people can be about how other peoples kids should be raised. It also scares me a bit to think at one point a small part of my brain was wired to that kind of conversation.

Seems like the more you parent the more empathy and open-minded you become (or can become).

[raven74]

I just do what works for me and sits within my beliefs. I'm a pretty chilly parent.

[LookMumNoHands]

I think my parenting style is constantly changing, depending on what stage the kids are going through. The one thing that I've said throughout their lives, is that I won't back down, and I won't give in. Other than that, I'm pretty flexible.

[Mung bean]

I think my parenting style is constantly changing, depending on what stage the kids are going through. The one thing that I've said throughout their lives, is that I won't back down, and I won't give in. Other than that, I'm pretty flexible.

I think they are good qualities to have My personal mantra with my DS is 'Gentle but firm'.

[duck-o-lah]

Seems like the more you parent the more empathy and open-minded you become (or can become).

I believe this is true in most cases however I do know parents of multiple children who believe their way is THE only way and insist on proclaiming that they raised x children this way therefore it HAS to be the right and only way

I was very regimented with DS when he was a newborn. I had no idea about kids and followed instruction from MACH nurses without question. Not helpful when given conflicting advice at times When I look back on how I was killing myself trying to get things right with DS it makes me sad. I will definitely be taking the newborn stage with #2 more in my stride.

[Mung bean]

I believe this is true in most cases however I do know parents of multiple children who believe their way is THE only way and insist on proclaiming that they raised x children this way therefore it HAS to be the right and only way

I was very regimented with DS when he was a newborn. I had no idea about kids and followed instruction from MACH nurses without question. Not helpful when given conflicting advice at times When I look back on how I was killing myself trying to get things right with DS it makes me sad. I will definitely be taking the newborn stage with #2 more in my stride.

I feel exactly the same about the idea of a second baby. At least second time round you know what you're in for and you know that even after 4 hours of crying, you will live and the world will not cease to exist.

[FiFo]

I have definitely changed my view of parenting from when I was pregnant. I was one of those "I'll never do..." type people and would dismiss others who told me that would change... but since DD has come along guess what...she does use a dummy and she does leave the house with snot on her nose and the world hasn't ended. LOL

Parenting is all about learning as you go!