[PurpleNess]

Ji all,
My DS is 11 months old, is crawling & just started pulling himself up onto his feet ( yesterday).

I just don't know what to do about his sleeping, it's all over the place, regardless of a fairly solid routine with eating, day naps, bedtime routine etc.

I find for about 4or 5 nights in a row he'll be ok & wake at around 3-4 for a bottle ( currently trying to get of!) and then goes back to sleep till anywhere from 5am - 6.30.

Then he gives us a night of bed at 6.45 & wakes at 10, 12, 2, 3, 4,5 & then won't go back to sleep even in our bed.

He's a good eater & I ensure he eats 3 meals a day - fruit, veg, meat & often an arvo snack with his milk. He has 4 bottles overall but hope to get rid of ON bottle soon. Usually around 120-150mls each.

More often than not when he wakes at night he's sitting up and crying, not just yelling for attention but crying like 'how did I get here, I want ot sleep' kinda cry. Ona good night he can resettle but most nights it takes one of us to lie him back down & give him his bear & dummy....

He usually has breakfast at 7-7.30am regardless of when he wakes up & then is back down for a nap at 9 which is usually for 1-1.5 hrs.

Then another nap at 1 which most days is 2hrs long but sometimes I have to resettle after 1.5...

So any advice. Oh & I'm not an advocate of CC so please don't suggest I just leave him cry. Thanks

[PurpleNess]

Anyone..I'm a bit desperate for ideas??

Mainly concerned with the resettling at 3 & 4 o'clock on the morning...

Tips, advice???

[meggs1]

I'm not sure I can help as my son was waking hourly like that every night, so the problem was different. The solution for us seems to have been:

• Actually teaching him to lie down, and practicing that a bit in the daytime.
• Stopping the overnight breastfeeds, rocking, singing, cosleeping, picking up, or anything else fun
• Just going in, lying him down, and shhing and patting/stroking his bum until he goes back to sleep. You have to do that A LOT for a few nights. Gradually you reduce the patting and try to leave the room before he's fast asleep. Go back in and comfort him if he cries, but just do the same over and over again
• Tucking him in with a light crochet blanket. He can still get up when he wants, but I think it slows down his reflex to jump up immediately, allowing time for him to drift back to sleep.

Gradually the waking has reduced, so some nights he makes it through to 530-6am and some nights he needs a resettle usually at 4.00am. I'm happy enough with that for the time being, as I'm not willing to do any more drastic sleep training at this stage.

People will tell you that it gets better when they are walking, which may be true, but I didnt find that.

DS has had some horrid nights after days with too much racing around or when he's had too many treats and not enough proper dinner (we just had the run of 1st birthday parties) so are you able to pin down a cause for the bad nights?

[PurpleNess]

THANKS Meggs,

I've started to keep a bit of a diary around feeding & sleeping to see if I can pinpoint a trigger.

Thanks for your ideas, I actually did this last night and managed to get him back to sleep twice but I did have to give him a cuddle at 3am he was quite hysterical poor thing.

I'm trying to get rid of the bottle & held out until just before 5am, then he slept till 7 so overall not a bad night. I just don't know how we'll cope if I cold turkey him off the bottle, so over the next couple of weeks I'm going to push it back as much as i can so eventually it'll be him morning bottle & reducing the amount - he only got 90 mls last night.

Thanks again, I'll keep trying....

[nakedrhubarb]

We have this problem with my 9.5 month old. We have found having white noise in the room helps, and bottom patting. Her night sleeps are starting to stretch out and she is starting to self settle. Hopefully another few weeks and she will sleep in stretches that are long enough for me to feel like I have slept.

[Neko NoNo]

I ended up at sleep school at 11 months as DS wasn't even close to sleeping through any night ever, was cosleeping and BF all night. We managed to sleep training him pretty quick using the techniques Megg suggests.

The only thing I will add is to maybe try offering water overnight- that way you know he's not just thirsty and his body can get used to waiting until morning for a drink a bit at a time. Also to offer sympathy- it sucks and i hope you get some solid sleep soon! good luck

[PurpleNess]

thanks Kaie & nakedrhubarb,

Yes I think I'll give water in a day or two. He had a small feed this morning & was still upset afterwards ( complained lol) but I managed to calm him & get him off to sleep fairly easily so I'd say the bottle will be gone by Christmas....if not his first birthday!

I've had the pedastal fan on throughout the day this week as his room gets quite hot & he does seem to have slept a bit better, so i might try some static tonight.

thanks again

[amabanana]

DD1 was like that, except she was waking hourly and then would stay awake for stints of a couple of hours in the wee hours. It was torture. We tried everything and nothing worked completely. We had the most success with Elizabeth Pantley's no cry sleep solution.
At 5, DD is still full on, has trouble relaxing but is also a very bright little button with a mind that is constantly thinking and whirring. She is gifted and has ADD.

DD2 was a relaxed baby and when we had some sleep issues she responded very quickly to the methods in EP's book.

What I'm trying to say is, it's not always what you are doing but the personality of the baby. You can help them sleep but you can't make them.

Have you heard about Wonder Years? DDs always get unsettled and wakeful when they are about to make a 'brain leap.'

Good luck!

[Feefifofum]

OMG, I could have written your post word for word. Same age, same issue. I feel like I'm dealing with a newborn all over again. And given I haven't had more than a handful of full nights' sleep in almost a year, it's driving me nuts!!! Similar to you, my baby doesn't seem hungry or deeply upset, just wants to be awake and in my company.

I am now going to read the words of wisdom of others, as I don't have any myself. But it does seem to me that this is a stage associated with lots of development (for my bub, she's just starting to crawl, and seems to practice it in her cot at 3am). May it soon pass...please!

[KRT]

A routine like yours sounds pretty horrible, but... I think you're doing all the right things and it just needs time.

Obviously, your DS can settle himself when he wakes overnight - he can do it for four or five nights in a row! So that means you don't have a sleep association problem where he can't go back to sleep without your help. That's really good, because it's hard to change sleep associations.

As for the bad, bad nights - they sound awful. Two thoughts - could it be because of a very busy day? Or a day when your DS hasn't had as much time to practise crawling/sitting/standing? I find that if DS hasn't sleep well during the day, he wakes up more. I also found that the whole period when he was learning to crawl, he would struggle to settle if we'd spent a lot of the day out with him in the car/in the carrier.

If you can, let your DS have as much time practising standing and then sitting down again, so he doesn't pull himself up in his cot and then need your help to lie down again.

Finally, if it were me, I would see what happened if I left DS for a little longer before going in to help him sleep. I know you don't want to leave him to cry, and I don't think that would help - but maybe go in after 90 seconds instead of after 30 seconds. I'd think of it as giving him the opportunity to find out for himself that he can lie down and close his eyes and sleep, similar to moving the toy to encourage him to learn to roll over. I wouldn't push it at all, but just see if he could do it.

Do you have a video monitor, or could you borrow one? It can be good to see whether they're making any effort to settle themselves or if they're just wailing. Just don't leave it too close to the cot or you'll have a little explorer trying to play with it in the middle of the night