[imamumto3]

the in laws were minding the kids last night at our house.

at bath time mil got dd2 out and then told dd1 that she was next, then ds. dd1 (4) not wanting ds to be last out pulled the plug and hid it under toys so that ds would have to get out at the same time. ds got upset (he was tired as he had been at a party all day) and cried. mil told dd that she was a very naughty girl for doing that, dressed her and put her to bed without a story and would not leave her light or radio on or give her the favourite toy that she always takes to bed.

ds told me this morning that dd was crying throughout it all and she was still upset this morning. mil is meant to be having the kids tomorrow while I'm at an appointment, but dd is saying she doesn't want to go to her.

I think the punishment was a bit harsh, but WDYT? also do I give in and see if I can get someone else to mind the kids tomorrow or do I make dd go to mils?

[-*meh*-]

i think the punishment was harsh....

if it had of been bed without a story then it would have been fine..

but if your daughter normally sleeps with her toy with a light on then that is cruel...

i would explain to DD that she needs to go to MIL's but that you will talk to MIL that it won't happen again.

[~~~]

At first glance, and knowing 4 year olds, I would have skipped the story but the other things sound like they are security things for bedtime, so seems a little OTT. Have you spoken to your MIL about it or do you both normally have similar discipline ideas?

[mad madam mim]

I would still take her to MILs but just ask that she not be so harsh next time, I think no story and straight to bed would have been plenty, not letting her have the light on (especially if she is scared of the dark) is too much, she needs a consequence yes but scaring her shouldn't be one of them.

[Swahili]

No story is reasonable, not allowing a night light or favourite toy is not.

[Splodge83]

No story is reasonable, not allowing a night light or favourite toy is not.

Agree with this

[2xpink]

I would have a word to mil - my six year old DD would be inconsolable if she was made to go to bed without her security toy and a night light. She would cope without a story - that is a common punishment in our house if they mess around at bed time.

I don't believe children should be made go without the things that make them feel secure.

I would take her to mil - because if she gets to go somewhere else it might build her aversion to going to mil's. Explain to her that you will ask mil not to do this again.

[belindarama]

No story is fine. That is standard consequence at our house for monkey tricks with bath or dressing before bed. It is hard wrangling 3 at once by yourself. I do this sometimes when my 2 year old niece comes to us so you need some way to keep them in line at that time as it has potential to be dangerous.

However, sleep associations are off limits to me. For the most part we are the ones who have created those habits they are reliant on. It is cruel to take then away and expect the child to moderate their reaction and emotions when distressed by their removal.

[mumto3princesses]

No story is reasonable, not allowing a night light or favourite toy is not.

This.

Even one of my 9yr old twins still needs a security toy for bed and likes the bedside light on for a short time.

[meggs1]

However, sleep associations are off limits to me. For the most part we are the ones who have created those habits they are reliant on. It is cruel to take then away and expect the child to moderate their reaction and emotions when distressed by their removal.

I agree.