[AllegraM]

Fluffy!

DH and I had settled on boy and girl names a couple of months back. At our 20 week scan, he found out the gender but I did not.

I am now having second thoughts about our boy name but can't raise it with DH as his reaction will tip me off to whether we are having a boy or girl. I mean, if he says, "Whatever you want, dear", I know we will be having a girl but if he digs in over the boy name, I know we will be having a boy.

It is my own fault- I had niggling doubts a couple of weeks before the ultrasound and should have sorted it out with DH then. Now I will have to mount a last stand in the birth suite if a boy pops out!

[Gudrun]

Haha. You'll just have to talk to us or change your mind and find out. Good luck to both of you keeping that pact!

[Eight.years]

I mean, if he says, "Whatever you want, dear", I know we will be having a girl but if he digs in over the boy name, I know we will be having a boy.

Not necessarily. I was in exactly the same situation with my second - my husband knew and I didn't. When I changed my mind on the name we'd decided in case of a girl first time around - the name we'd been planning to use for four years - he just gave me a bland 'yup, sure, sounds good'. After that, I was convinced we were having a boy!

Just tell him that you don't want a reaction but you're putting something out there to think about. You can always spend a few days after the baby is born sorting things out. Especially if all the thinking has been done beforehand.

[reng]

I am now having second thoughts about our boy name but can't raise it with DH as his reaction will tip me off to whether we are having a boy or girl. I mean, if he says, "Whatever you want, dear", I know we will be having a girl but if he digs in over the boy name, I know we will be having a boy.

It is my own fault- I had niggling doubts a couple of weeks before the ultrasound and should have sorted it out with DH then. Now I will have to mount a last stand in the birth suite if a boy pops out!

Why don't you start the conversation with this comment?

Something like 'I want to talk about names, but I'm concerned that your reaction will give away the gender, so could you please engage with me regardless of your knowledge' ??

[Sunnycat]

Can you send him an email and tell him your concerns about how he will react and get him to respond with yes or no answers?

Or better yet, why not write it down and get him to tick yes or no if he likes the new name?

[R2B2]

Write it in a letter tell him to put on his best poker face when replying to you!

[MrsLexiK]

I am now having second thoughts about our boy name but can't raise it with DH as his reaction will tip me off to whether we are having a boy or girl. I mean, if he says, "Whatever you want, dear", I know we will be having a girl but if he digs in over the boy name, I know we will be having a boy.

I don't think so, I was talking to a friends DB on the weekend, he had found out and the mother didn't. They still came to the name choice together. I asked was he tempted to give in and he said no he wasn't he knew she didn't want to know so played along like he didn't know either.

I do like the ideas abotu writing to him in a letter or email or whatever. Just in case you catch him at the wrong time and he isn't thinking.

[BeautifulCanvas]

Maybe you can just tell him that you would like to reconsider the names you've decided on, or that you'd like to keep looking. You can also ask him if he'd be willing to wait with you to decide on a name until bub is born. That way, you can work on a list without making a firm decision ahead of time.